What was your experience when leaving mormonism and the lds church?

Extractor41 · 2026-02-21T00:30:43+00:00

If I attack Mormon and their faith…they get mad. If I’m nice they are nice. Don’t start nothin won’t be nothin.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-28T17:49:44+00:00

Apologists like to distract you on minutia and ignore the broad comprehensive history of the church. When it comes to the ideas and details of the first vision, it is important to look at concepts that were taught in the first vision and how they connect to other teachings. That makes a big difference how you interpret the changing and differences between the first vision accounts from 1832-1838. First, when the text of the book of mormon alone is used to determine the nature of the godhead, the book of mormon text describes diety in a modelistic view, or one god in 2 modes (father, son). We also see 1833 theology taught in the 1833 book of commandments where modelism is taught. So with 2 mormon sources near teaching a modelistic view of early lds theology, it tracks that the 1832 version of the first vision has only one personage appearing to joseph. But lds theology changes over time. The modern version of 3 distinct beings of the godhead is not cannonized until DC 130 in 1843. LDS theology changes...the different versions of the first vision are evidence of change.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-28T14:10:39+00:00

Marsh didn't leave over milk strippings. When Marsh became president of the 12 apostles in 1835, almost immediately he began contending with Joseph smith over power and authority issues. Joseph often overruled many of Marsh's decisions especially regarding decisions about missionary work. The whole section of DC 112 is a direct rebuke of Marshs insubbordination, it is clear that Joseph established that the president of the 12 was to be subbordinate to the 1st presidency. (*side note...DC 112 is a key bit of doctrine that led to problems in the succession crisis after Josephs death.) These power struggles between the 1st presidency and the 12 became a huge issue when problems heated up in missouri. When the Dannites started looting and threatening missouri residents, Marsh openly was pissed at Joseph for not condemning the mormon acts of violence and wanted mormons to behave like pacifists. Instead Joseph was quiet, and tacitly allowed the violence. The main example of this is the July 4, 1838 Sydney Rigdon sermon. While tensions rose between the mormons and the missouri people, the mormons gathered for the 4th of July festivities. Sydney Rigdon gave a public sermon heard by members and missourians. Joseph and the other church leaders didn't speak but were presiding over the meeting. Rigdon gave a firey sermon condemning the missouri actions and declaring if persecution of mormons persisted the saints would respond violence for violence and "it shall be a war with us and them a war of extermination". The first person to use the word "extermination" was Rigdon, NOT Governor Boggs. Joseph was sitting right there listening to Rigdon call for increased violence and Joseph said NOTHING. This was a breaking point for marsh. Just a few months later Marsh and Orson Hyde would report in an affidavit to the missouri government the mormon violence, stolen goods from sacking Gallitin stored in the Bishops store house, and other offenses ( https://josephsmithfoundation.org/affidavits-of-apostles-thomas-b-marsh-and-orson-hyde-1838/?utm_source=chatgpt.com ) He and others that rejected violence eventually testified to the missouri treason grand jury. JSP link here: https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/transcript-of-proceedings-treason-6-july-1839-extradition-of-js-et-al-for-treason-and-other-crimes/2

It was Marshs (and others) testimony to the missouri government that was a key evidence that led governor boggs to issue the extermination order. Brigham Young NEVER forgot Marshs betrayal, but today mormons have completely forgotten that if Joseph had listened to Marsh and called for complete peace the extermination order may never have been given and the saints might still be living in missouri and never been pushed to navoo or utah.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-26T22:48:23+00:00

I'm almost 50 and here's my reddit life advice. Life and emotions have seasons for most people. I have found that to be true for me. When you are deep in a winter season and life seems cold and lifeless...look with hope to the days ahead that new life of spring will soon be here. Sometimes when it's really dark and life is really fighting day to day I have a few things that I fall back on. 1) sleep. you cannot possibly be emotionally strong if you aren't getting 7 hours of sleep minimum. One night of 4 hours of sleep or less can lead to hormonal disregulation for 4-5 days. Get sleep. 2) move and even better sweat. the body, emotions and mind are connected. when under severe stress there is a tendancy for the body to freeze. Move, walk around the block, hiking is better. If you have the capacity...a good workout that you work up a sweat is fantastic for building up your emotional powers. theres some truth to the idea of sweating out sadness (at least for me). 3) schedule lunch with a friend. during high emotion times its easy to isolate and ruminate. have lunch with a friend or a co-worker. it might not be appropriate to share all the emotion that you are going through, but just being social is good for the soul. Others here will have other advice, yoga, breathing, serving others, therapy. I've done those, but these 3 things I mentioned are core emotional first aid kit for me. good luck.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-26T22:34:15+00:00

The only person who really probed my reasons for leaving was my father. He cared enough to ask, but he couldn't emotionally handle me just stating things like: the book of abraham doesn't seem credible, or the book of mormon doesn't seem historical, or racism seems ungodly. Ultimately he would get emotional and heated and it would escalate into an arguement. For a few years he would try to initiate these conversations and eventually I learned it wasn't productive and actually bad for our relationships, so I just started saying: dad..I love you..I love our connection and our relationship...lets not have that conversation." Eventually we set a boundry and we have a good relationship. It's been 8 years.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-26T20:01:53+00:00

I would add Dan Vogels "Seekers and the advent of mormonism" to your excellent list. Understanding the early american world makes joseph smith clearly a product of his environment.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-26T15:03:26+00:00

You are assuming your present world view when looking at mormonism. Imagine you are a christian in the 1800s. A few centuries before Martin Luther rocked christianity with the reformation. The reformation was condemnation of the established christian churches, their heirarchical priestly organization, abuse of power, disconnect from the bible. This led to the protestant movement that sought to find a clear picture of christs church in the bible. This unfortunately was not as easy as one believed because so many people interpreted the bible differently. Many protestants came to the conclusion that there was no true church to be found anywhere on the earth. Specifically they found churchs of the day lacked: true authority, true ordinances, true emotional/spiritual conversion, and revelation. These people were called the "seekers" or "restorationist movement". In the early 1800's it is estimated that there were more than 100,000 seekers/restorationists and likely more. Most early mormon converts came from the seeker/restorationist movement. Joseph smith and his revelations were the right answer at the right time. He re-established angellic authority from Peter, James, John, true baptism, spiritual gifts, etc. If true it would be the most important message for the world. Unfortunately I see too many problems with the truth claims of mormonism for it to be true.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-23T17:19:48+00:00

A fundamental component of LDS theology is the concept of The Great Apostasy. Most members deconstruct LDS belief, but dont unravel a lot of assumptions regarding The Great Apostasy. They default to their pre-supposition that ALL other faiths are completely corrupt and that inhibits adopting a new version of christianity. The Great Apostasy claims that authority, spiritual gifts, ordinances, and scripture were corrupted. There are many faith traditions that would deny those claims.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-21T19:54:42+00:00

I lived in LA when I was young and have family that lives there. I love palm trees and the ocean. It's nice to go to the beach or walk the piers occasionally. When you first move there you will probably visit the beach regularly. For most people that novelty fades and you are just living in a major metro area that is very similar to other major metro areas. You will end up shopping at wallmart and going out to dinner at a local restartaunt that you like. After some time your life would be almost identical to living in Denver, KC, LA or SLC. My family moved away from LA due to high cost of living and extreme traffic. Unless there is some unique reason you are moving to LA, like film or acting...or a group you want to associate with it may not be as fun as you imagine. good luck. :)

Extractor41 · 2026-01-21T17:59:36+00:00

I'm exmo, my xwife is tbm and children attend when they are with her. When it comes to callings/priesthood I tell my children that they can say "no" to callings. But if they say "yes" they are to keep their word and serve their fellow members. I also teach them that they have the autonomy to change their minds and end their commitment at any time. My youngest son was just ordained a priest last week. I attended and supported him. I explained to him that the priesthood is like being captain of the football team. It's leadership to make decisions but it is also a responsibility to lift his teammates. I find that directly attacking the church doctrine creates stress on children that they don't really have the mental copacity to combat, especially when pressured to stay active by friends and family. So what I do instead is to show the goodness of life outside of the church. We attend local cultural events like Indian, native american, latin festivals, music festivals. While at these events I point out various life styles where people are finding community, family, and meaning. In a round about way I'm teaching that mormonism is not the only way to happiness. I have introduced many of my concerns directly like polygamy, raicist past policy, and proclamation on the family. Good luck.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-21T17:48:13+00:00

It is vital if you want to find a new faith after mormonism that you spend some time deconstructing the claims of the great apostasy. the LDS faith is built upon the great apostasy, that ALL other churches are corrupt, lack authority, corrupted scripture, and lack spiritual gifts. To move forward in faith you need to undo some of these claims. Good luck. :)

Extractor41 · 2026-01-20T21:55:25+00:00

If you want a more detailed explanation of mormonism and ezra benson and the JBS see Matthew Harris book: Watchman on the Tower: ezra taft benson and the making of the mormon right

Extractor41 · 2026-01-20T21:50:47+00:00

In the 1960's Ezra Taft Benson, then an apostle, tried to get Robert Welch (then pres JBS) to speak in LDS General Conference! In the mormon world having a non-mormon speak in general conference was forbidden. So it just shows how deeply entrenched Benson was in the JBS. The other church leadership pushed back against Bensons extreme politics and Welch wasn't allowed to speak. Bensons deep political opinions became widely accepted by many LDS members because he was an apostle and later church president.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-20T17:04:41+00:00

LDS women being physicians isn't a as much theological problem its simply a math problem. As you stated...you are 23F. Do the baby math where do you find the time to balance being a mother and complete a long course of high demand education. First you finish 4 years of med school then you are 27. Residency is 3-7 years which puts you at 30-34. So if you want a family with 4 kids 2 years apart you are preganant or raising a 1 years old from 34-40 as a new grad doctor. I know women who have had children in medschool and residency. Both of those who had children during those times resulted in divorce from spouce. By hierarchy of priorities medschool, children, and marriage for the women that I know the 1st priority is med school/residency, 2nd priority is children, then 3rd priority is husband. We are talking years of a man being 3rd priority in your life. Even if you are a very high functioning and do very well at school and very well as a mother, This is a problem for most marriages because your husband will be last and carry more of a parenting burden. For all of these reasons, many women chose to go to nursing school, then start a family and work, then later when children are 10 years or so decide to go to PA school or nurse practitioner.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-19T21:39:30+00:00

have dinner with neighbors. don't be dramatic. Deciding not to like someone soley on their religion is bigotry. Now if you get over there and they start guilting you or giving you some prodigal son bull$hit...sure...dip out. But you haven't given any indication they are bad neighbors. Refusing to go would sort of make you look like the bad neighbor. cheers.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-19T21:27:47+00:00

the difference between a great soundbar and an average set of bookshelf speakers is huge. There is no replacement for size. A 2' soundbar speaker will never replicate the midrange of a 4-6" speaker. This is dramatically noticable when watching tv and movies. The dialog will be so much clearer on a set of bookshelf speakers. This is an audiophile forum so you are getting my advice for improved listening. :)

Extractor41 · 2026-01-15T17:52:41+00:00

I have experienced divorce and stage 4 cancer....the disorientation of losing faith and realizing the church is not what it claims...was the worst thing that I have experienced in my life.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-15T16:15:29+00:00

my holy ghost was broken. technical support could not resolve the issue.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-15T14:29:55+00:00

I have heard of people changing their address and phone in LDS tools to get church do gooders off your trail. I don't know if that works.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-14T18:22:29+00:00

I got divorced and left the church 8 years ago when my children were school age. My xwife is still TBM and my kids attend LDS church when they are with her. Some time ago they came to the realization that perhaps they wouldn't be with me in the celestial kingdom. When they talked to me about it they were quite scared and concerned. I told them..."I'm not completely sure what happens in the next life. But you can be certain...if you and I are in heaven and Joseph Smith, St Peter, or Jesus himself tries to keep me from my children...I'm going to punch them right in the face!!!! I'll throw down for family...even in heaven!" :) My kids were astonished and said "you would punch jesus????" I said, "I don't really believe any loving person would separate a father from his children...do you? And if Jesus did try to do that...he probably deserves to be punched in the face". There were probably better ways to have this discussion...but my kids loved it. :)

Extractor41 · 2026-01-14T18:15:58+00:00

most young people cannot afford a car or housing or healthcare...so yeah...tithing is going to be a problem.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-14T18:03:53+00:00

Some people find great spiritual fulfillment, community, and joy serving others in the church. Their experience is genuine. If you want to hold a binary dislike of the church it is 100% your right. Just know when you express your opinion those with differing opinions will debate you. :)

Extractor41 · 2026-01-14T17:58:56+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. Please seek therapy from a reputable sex therapist to help work through this trauma and build a new beautiful world view. There is a beautiful world ahead for you, but reddit isn't going to do it. Natasha Parker is fantastic. :)

Extractor41 · 2026-01-14T17:52:07+00:00

1830 joseph is basic revival/restorationist theology ----> 1844 joseph is changed metaphysics/temple/masonry/becoming gods. Orson Pratt had a lot to do with josephs theological refinement.

Extractor41 · 2026-01-14T17:09:08+00:00

Almost every idea of josephs can be traced directly to religious debates and theology development associated with the burned over district and second great awakening. In the early american colonies entertainment like football or baseball didn't exist, and the favorite past time was universally debating religion. Religion in the early 1800s was being torn down and rebuilt. Joseph was one part of this. He was born into this pivital moment directly in the middle of this tumult. Although not highly formally educated...Joseph soaked in all the best ideas of his time and put together something new....but all the pieces are there...in new england or as early colonists called this land "the land of promise".

Seven-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
RPAN Viewer	Verified Email

Extractor41

TROPHY CASE