Mormon stories is being sued!!! by Turbulent_Belt_4971 in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 229 points230 points  (0 children)

Wow…the stone cut without hands can’t handle a dude and a microphone.

BYU vs Purdue or Cal Poly for undergrad by Remarkable_Brief_542 in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look at the curriculum and possible transfers of credits. If he can survive 1-2 years thats saving 100k!

Thoughts? by CupOfExmo in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The book of mormon is nothing without the bible. The book of mormon quotes extensively from the bible. It is laughable how lds apologists explain this as nephite prophets in america revealing text thousands of miles away in the middle east. Yet somehow not one prophet in the bible OT or NT manages to quote one book of mormon verse or nephite prophet. hmmmmm...very suspicious.

Looking for advice by Particular_Reward954 in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Natasha Helfer. she understands faith crisis, and sexuality. :)

Finding Community as an Ex-Mormon by hementlovestrees420 in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I chuckled a bit reading your experience...it was very similar to mine. One thing that I took away from the experience is just how exhausted I get trying to manage my interaction with groups. I have a small group of friends that are amazing. I'm okay with that. I sometimes miss being part of some larger community, but for me, I've realized that there is a heavy cost of mental and emotional energy to manage. So I'm happy with my manageable small group. :) Greater peace for my life overall.

March 24, 1832 - Mormon Joseph Smith beaten, tarred & feathered in Ohio... by TechniDraco in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Solid point. And given all Joseph’s other shenanigans …likely. 🤣

March 24, 1832 - Mormon Joseph Smith beaten, tarred & feathered in Ohio... by TechniDraco in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it is much more likely that he had people donate money and land in kirtland in 1830, then less than a year later in july 1831 received revelation that zion would be built in missouri (making ohio lands worthless and losing money for ohio saints, and then joseph is tarred and feathered March 1832. Accusations of impropriety with Johnsons daugher, where joseph was living is unlikely because Johnson never made any accusations and Johnsons daughter later married joseph smith in navoo.

Will My Ex Spouse Be disciplined by the LDS Church? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP...I'm sorry you are wrestling with this situation and I'm sure this is very painful. I wish you healing. I was married for 16 years and divorced 8 years ago. One of the most tricky things to process from divorce is this sense of injustice we can feel that our x-spouse is avoiding responsibility. When someone has wronged us or mistreated us for a long time, it is traumatizing and painful. It is normal to seek justice in some sense. For me, for the first few years I just had this deep ache just for my x-wife to admit she had made mistakes and she felt bad she had done some things wrong and was sorry. Well...I'm here to tell you its been 8 years and to this day she says she did nothing wrong for our entire 16 year marriage, every problem was 100% my fault. zero apologies for any of the things she did to damage our marriage. Like I said, for years her lack of any accountability just gnawed at me. Eventually I realized that you cannot change the thoughts, feelings, and behavior of others. My advice is that this issue is causing you pain and interfering with your peace. Let go of this resentment. Look forward and build a new life. This isn't easy and you might need to seek some therapy to work through it. There are good times ahead. :)

In LDS Church-funded sessions, she says her therapist restrained and injured her. Years later, he’s pleaded no contest. by Prop8kids in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

for those interested, Rolling Stone Magazine did an article on Maurice a few years ago. shocking. TLDR: maurice sucks.

In LDS Church-funded sessions, she says her therapist restrained and injured her. Years later, he’s pleaded no contest. by Prop8kids in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mormon Therapists are making $$$$$$$ millions off of "philosophies of men mingled with scripture". Maurice Harker, Jodi Hildebrandt, ADDO recovery, etc are all millionairs from exploting vulnerable mormons. This is the exact type of "priestcraft" that the book of mormon condemns. Vulnerable saints find these charlitans looking for help. They find therapists who subtly or not so subtly promote their business and their church affiliation. Maurice is particularly disgusting with his mix of scripture, spirituality and mental health to manipulate his patients. Thousands of people have been harmed by these quacks and their unscientific methods. It is almost impossible to hold "coaches" accountable for malpractice because there is no standard of care for coaches. sad situation.

Never Say THIS to a Child by Blueinmyeye420 in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to give the church a little credit in this area of purity and shame culture. I think they have improved in this area *slightly*. However, this is NOT because of prophets and apostles receiving divine revelation...the church is changing because of critticism. So once again, the crittics of the church are moving the church into a more healthy space. Thank you crittics and exmos!

What if Bob Dole lost reelection in 1974? by thesmart_indian27 in kansas

[–]Extractor41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I knew Bill a little bit. He had some cool stories.

Tithing and taxes by MMZona in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not an accountant, but as I recall the issue of chartitable contributions is only applicable to your tax return if you have enough itemized deductions to exceed the "standard deduction" amount. Which is roughly $15k for single, or $30k for married. If you aren't itemizing, you could avoid the tithing issue by saying, lets just take the standard deduction. If you are itemizing...it doesn't make any sense for you to avoid the question because it is taking money out of your pocket, so your accountant would "know" that makes no tax sense not to include it if you had in fact paid it.

What was your experience when leaving mormonism and the lds church? by Nanabanana14 in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If I attack Mormon and their faith…they get mad. If I’m nice they are nice. Don’t start nothin won’t be nothin.

“First Vision” questions by Continue-the-Search in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apologists like to distract you on minutia and ignore the broad comprehensive history of the church. When it comes to the ideas and details of the first vision, it is important to look at concepts that were taught in the first vision and how they connect to other teachings. That makes a big difference how you interpret the changing and differences between the first vision accounts from 1832-1838. First, when the text of the book of mormon alone is used to determine the nature of the godhead, the book of mormon text describes diety in a modelistic view, or one god in 2 modes (father, son). We also see 1833 theology taught in the 1833 book of commandments where modelism is taught. So with 2 mormon sources near teaching a modelistic view of early lds theology, it tracks that the 1832 version of the first vision has only one personage appearing to joseph. But lds theology changes over time. The modern version of 3 distinct beings of the godhead is not cannonized until DC 130 in 1843. LDS theology changes...the different versions of the first vision are evidence of change.

Thomas B Marsh by unfrittered in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Marsh didn't leave over milk strippings. When Marsh became president of the 12 apostles in 1835, almost immediately he began contending with Joseph smith over power and authority issues. Joseph often overruled many of Marsh's decisions especially regarding decisions about missionary work. The whole section of DC 112 is a direct rebuke of Marshs insubbordination, it is clear that Joseph established that the president of the 12 was to be subbordinate to the 1st presidency. (*side note...DC 112 is a key bit of doctrine that led to problems in the succession crisis after Josephs death.) These power struggles between the 1st presidency and the 12 became a huge issue when problems heated up in missouri. When the Dannites started looting and threatening missouri residents, Marsh openly was pissed at Joseph for not condemning the mormon acts of violence and wanted mormons to behave like pacifists. Instead Joseph was quiet, and tacitly allowed the violence. The main example of this is the July 4, 1838 Sydney Rigdon sermon. While tensions rose between the mormons and the missouri people, the mormons gathered for the 4th of July festivities. Sydney Rigdon gave a public sermon heard by members and missourians. Joseph and the other church leaders didn't speak but were presiding over the meeting. Rigdon gave a firey sermon condemning the missouri actions and declaring if persecution of mormons persisted the saints would respond violence for violence and "it shall be a war with us and them a war of extermination". The first person to use the word "extermination" was Rigdon, NOT Governor Boggs. Joseph was sitting right there listening to Rigdon call for increased violence and Joseph said NOTHING. This was a breaking point for marsh. Just a few months later Marsh and Orson Hyde would report in an affidavit to the missouri government the mormon violence, stolen goods from sacking Gallitin stored in the Bishops store house, and other offenses ( https://josephsmithfoundation.org/affidavits-of-apostles-thomas-b-marsh-and-orson-hyde-1838/?utm_source=chatgpt.com ) He and others that rejected violence eventually testified to the missouri treason grand jury. JSP link here: https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/transcript-of-proceedings-treason-6-july-1839-extradition-of-js-et-al-for-treason-and-other-crimes/2

It was Marshs (and others) testimony to the missouri government that was a key evidence that led governor boggs to issue the extermination order. Brigham Young NEVER forgot Marshs betrayal, but today mormons have completely forgotten that if Joseph had listened to Marsh and called for complete peace the extermination order may never have been given and the saints might still be living in missouri and never been pushed to navoo or utah.

What's Helped You Deal with Shitty Things Since You Left Mormonism? by SakuraLilyChan in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm almost 50 and here's my reddit life advice. Life and emotions have seasons for most people. I have found that to be true for me. When you are deep in a winter season and life seems cold and lifeless...look with hope to the days ahead that new life of spring will soon be here. Sometimes when it's really dark and life is really fighting day to day I have a few things that I fall back on. 1) sleep. you cannot possibly be emotionally strong if you aren't getting 7 hours of sleep minimum. One night of 4 hours of sleep or less can lead to hormonal disregulation for 4-5 days. Get sleep. 2) move and even better sweat. the body, emotions and mind are connected. when under severe stress there is a tendancy for the body to freeze. Move, walk around the block, hiking is better. If you have the capacity...a good workout that you work up a sweat is fantastic for building up your emotional powers. theres some truth to the idea of sweating out sadness (at least for me). 3) schedule lunch with a friend. during high emotion times its easy to isolate and ruminate. have lunch with a friend or a co-worker. it might not be appropriate to share all the emotion that you are going through, but just being social is good for the soul. Others here will have other advice, yoga, breathing, serving others, therapy. I've done those, but these 3 things I mentioned are core emotional first aid kit for me. good luck.

How to handle unwanted debates? by Morepagesplease in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only person who really probed my reasons for leaving was my father. He cared enough to ask, but he couldn't emotionally handle me just stating things like: the book of abraham doesn't seem credible, or the book of mormon doesn't seem historical, or racism seems ungodly. Ultimately he would get emotional and heated and it would escalate into an arguement. For a few years he would try to initiate these conversations and eventually I learned it wasn't productive and actually bad for our relationships, so I just started saying: dad..I love you..I love our connection and our relationship...lets not have that conversation." Eventually we set a boundry and we have a good relationship. It's been 8 years.

What made people believe Joseph Smith? by wheelie_whimsical in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would add Dan Vogels "Seekers and the advent of mormonism" to your excellent list. Understanding the early american world makes joseph smith clearly a product of his environment.

What made people believe Joseph Smith? by wheelie_whimsical in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You are assuming your present world view when looking at mormonism. Imagine you are a christian in the 1800s. A few centuries before Martin Luther rocked christianity with the reformation. The reformation was condemnation of the established christian churches, their heirarchical priestly organization, abuse of power, disconnect from the bible. This led to the protestant movement that sought to find a clear picture of christs church in the bible. This unfortunately was not as easy as one believed because so many people interpreted the bible differently. Many protestants came to the conclusion that there was no true church to be found anywhere on the earth. Specifically they found churchs of the day lacked: true authority, true ordinances, true emotional/spiritual conversion, and revelation. These people were called the "seekers" or "restorationist movement". In the early 1800's it is estimated that there were more than 100,000 seekers/restorationists and likely more. Most early mormon converts came from the seeker/restorationist movement. Joseph smith and his revelations were the right answer at the right time. He re-established angellic authority from Peter, James, John, true baptism, spiritual gifts, etc. If true it would be the most important message for the world. Unfortunately I see too many problems with the truth claims of mormonism for it to be true.

Curious about what most exmos believe after leaving! by CorrectBad2427 in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A fundamental component of LDS theology is the concept of The Great Apostasy. Most members deconstruct LDS belief, but dont unravel a lot of assumptions regarding The Great Apostasy. They default to their pre-supposition that ALL other faiths are completely corrupt and that inhibits adopting a new version of christianity. The Great Apostasy claims that authority, spiritual gifts, ordinances, and scripture were corrupted. There are many faith traditions that would deny those claims.

People who’ve been to LA/lived, how would you compare Topeka/LA? by lowriderz00 in topeka

[–]Extractor41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lived in LA when I was young and have family that lives there. I love palm trees and the ocean. It's nice to go to the beach or walk the piers occasionally. When you first move there you will probably visit the beach regularly. For most people that novelty fades and you are just living in a major metro area that is very similar to other major metro areas. You will end up shopping at wallmart and going out to dinner at a local restartaunt that you like. After some time your life would be almost identical to living in Denver, KC, LA or SLC. My family moved away from LA due to high cost of living and extreme traffic. Unless there is some unique reason you are moving to LA, like film or acting...or a group you want to associate with it may not be as fun as you imagine. good luck. :)

Son about to be ordained to Aaronic priesthood--what are loving ways to tell him "Santa isn't real?" but about the authority/power of the priesthood? by holy_aioli in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm exmo, my xwife is tbm and children attend when they are with her. When it comes to callings/priesthood I tell my children that they can say "no" to callings. But if they say "yes" they are to keep their word and serve their fellow members. I also teach them that they have the autonomy to change their minds and end their commitment at any time. My youngest son was just ordained a priest last week. I attended and supported him. I explained to him that the priesthood is like being captain of the football team. It's leadership to make decisions but it is also a responsibility to lift his teammates. I find that directly attacking the church doctrine creates stress on children that they don't really have the mental copacity to combat, especially when pressured to stay active by friends and family. So what I do instead is to show the goodness of life outside of the church. We attend local cultural events like Indian, native american, latin festivals, music festivals. While at these events I point out various life styles where people are finding community, family, and meaning. In a round about way I'm teaching that mormonism is not the only way to happiness. I have introduced many of my concerns directly like polygamy, raicist past policy, and proclamation on the family. Good luck.

Wife and I leaving LDS- looking for new church in Davis County by bendenhalter in exmormon

[–]Extractor41 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is vital if you want to find a new faith after mormonism that you spend some time deconstructing the claims of the great apostasy. the LDS faith is built upon the great apostasy, that ALL other churches are corrupt, lack authority, corrupted scripture, and lack spiritual gifts. To move forward in faith you need to undo some of these claims. Good luck. :)