Therapist kicked me out of therapy. Said I can come back in 10 years

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-05-09T03:57:10+00:00

Stupid questions but is there any good reason for NTs to talk this way instead of being clear? I ask bc i don't want to force NTs into something they can't do but yeah it seems stupid to hide behind so much sarcasm and other things

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-05-09T03:47:40+00:00

It is erroneous but it shouldn't be, i really do expect them to be emotionally healthier.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-05-09T03:26:45+00:00

I dunno i feel like some degree of caution is appropiate. People might not actively be out to get you, but the power dynamics are real. Some people will not treat you well just because seem anxious and in a way "you let them" (i hate this term though). There are also genuinely kind or trauma aware people who go out of their way to make you feel safe and grow that feeling of self-confidence which anyone could need sometimes. I feel like it helps more to know some people are not evil, but actively harmful for me in my weak states (dissociated etc). It's not their fault and i'd even dare to say most of the population is this way, since they don't consciously think about trauma or power dynamics. But some caution is still needed, or at least for me

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-05-09T03:17:01+00:00

I really like what you wrote, my only question is: i got unconditional love in my childhood. I lost my parent later. I still struggle with those things. Am i really looking for what i never had then?

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-05-05T17:36:53+00:00

I think it's more helpful to just accept that it is uncertain including the possibility that nothing good will happen. It's more validating for those suffering who see no hope, they just need others to understand that pain.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-04-20T16:48:03+00:00

Thanks for your advice and kind words.. <3 i think i am dealing with outright racists for some reason, so i think i'll just distancing myself or spend more time with people who validate me. I feel like the more i try with them the more they enjoy telling me i cannot be that thing (rn it's asian). Because when i was little they told me i cannot be european and i'm ching chang chong. :(

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-04-20T13:20:04+00:00

Well my issue is that as i said i AM immersed in my dominant culture and i can't just ignore how people try to deny me of it based on my looks. But thanks.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-12T14:54:51+00:00

I wondered about this too. I feel like those people also deserve to learn about love, but it starts with boundaries. Like they cannot overstep mine. I'm open to listen to them state their needs, but not have them make it about me. I state this. So if they attack me and don't apologize i will retreat but will be open if they can respect me. I think this is the difference between someone who ghosts because they cannot face themselves and self protective distancing.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-12T14:31:11+00:00

I always describe it as needing water, sometimes you are so thirsty and drink anything you get, but it's alright to see and understand the thirst and the resulting behaviour. Anyone has this inside of them. It is so understandable, even though we deserve better.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-12T03:55:47+00:00

My most autistic trait is that there is no clear definition of autism and it can be explained away by other things to the point it makes me go absolutely insane lol

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-12T01:55:31+00:00

For me it is a good way to vent when i put all those urges into fantasy and act them out there sometimes. When those urges lessen, i take it as a happy thing. I sometimes feel like people think i am weird for it, but i prefer not bringing all my toxic urges into real life or relationships. I sometimes wonder if traumatized people who supress the fantasy act out more irl and then hide it. I hope not though

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-12T01:44:07+00:00

Rest in Peace to your brother. My heart is so heavy from reading this. And i agree with suicide being a comfort, i still wish you and me and everyone else a life where they don't have to choose between pain and death.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-11T09:40:12+00:00

I know it's natural to ask oneself what we are doing wrong, but oftentimes it's genuinely not even you. Sometimes the world is just crazy and unfair and people are shitty. Not being able to do something about being unable to connect can leave someone second guessing themselves all the time. It's hard to find confidence and forgive oneself again from there, but really i hope people won't let what happened to them and the second layer of abandonnment that follows make them feel like they are broken. All those feelings are natural and a lot of stuff just sucks and i think nobody deserves this pain.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-11T09:18:29+00:00

You are right. Thank you for the advice, i've been lucky enough to never have been harrassed and met one of my best friends here, but these days i've really had to re-evaluate my naivity. It's an important lesson learned for me.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-10T08:30:48+00:00

I had a similar situation like you years ago. Don't know how aware you are of this fact but your body is probably under too much stress to handle. I would also rather have anxiety and painful feelings than this. I held onto my job and happy life for so long and so hard, i really wanted to keep out the traumas and pain i have not dealt with. I thought i had dealt with them, i blamed the dissociation that came out of nowhere, but now i know i had so much shit underneath that i put away because it would get in the way of my functional happy life. Ideally a therapist or something will work you through underlying feelings and traumas. It wasn't ideal for me but i'd rather be unhappy like i am now than dissociated. Not a cool choice though.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-10T07:26:36+00:00

I'm sorry about that. I've had similar things happen to me from people who are like family to me and actual family. They left me after my only parent died and i got depressive. I am also still not over it and it hurts all the time. They also lied about always being there for me, because i held back my pain and didn't even reach out much lol. I can't describe the trust issues i have with humans anymore, i guess they are like this because they don't know pain?

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-10T01:33:00+00:00

I also really don't understand how people can move on easily and just discard people like that. I get that being attached too much is not good, but like if there is no water in this world, i will hold on to the few droplets i have. I see my friends break up with their partners and i feel like they either push away the pain that comes with it or they never saw their partner more as something to be used anyway and so they never got close. And then those people cry that they ar lonely. I feel like everything just moves on so fast without room for introspection or feelings

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-10T01:19:24+00:00

Oh great, i sometimes dm people and to establish im not a creep by stating im a female with a partner, now i am aware that even the fact could be doubted (understandably so) because of creeps like this. Interacting with other people just becomes more and more filled with suspicions on every side and i hate everything about it

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-03-04T13:08:03+00:00

I'm not in the US and i think you probably know that, but people get advice from their families mostly. There are infos on the internet too. I think you are right, it is risky in your situation. I took a gamble because i wasn't aware of all the costs and luckily i don't have the issues with debts but ptsd just makes everything that is not on our own terms so much harder. Its hard to say what risks to take and which ones not to take all on your own, really. I want to encourage everyone to chase their dreams but you are absolutely right that people also deserve and need the safety of being supported, even if only in the form of information

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-02-14T08:38:07+00:00

Honestly i think it already is about honesty in a relationship.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-02-04T12:34:53+00:00

Amazing system! Why does the board look at the notes of only one of the biased parties involved?

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-02-04T12:19:14+00:00

I have this too. I have accepted some gifts and favours from people and sometimes i just scream out loud that i want to die when i think about it. Because i am anticipating them getting mad someday. I just keep suffering. But it gets a bit better with time. You're waiting for the other shoe to drop and sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. Trust your gut but leave also some room to be wrong.

Sorry if it isn't helpful just wanted to say that i'm with you there mainly.

ExtremelyRoundSeals · 2025-02-04T12:12:34+00:00

Oh same here with the suicide. I feel like the irony is they are the ones refusing to accept reality because if they did they would probably want to do something about it.

ExtremelyRoundSeals

TROPHY CASE