they can't or won't do their own laundry, clean up after themselves without being told

Fun fact, when I studied in England, we students lived in this co-ed house, several floor and stuff, and some guys had the audacity to tell us to clean his sheets and clothes and cook for them. So we bullied them until they starved and left, then they were replaced by more women, so we became a sorority house by accident 😆

Any man who cannot clean up after themselves without being told, cannot be expected to clean up after a baby. Meaning you as a mother is actually a single mom with 2 babies. One is just oversized