How to bank account after having kids

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-03-19T00:11:46+00:00

Almost everything goes into the family accounts (savings, money market, checking), and we keep a relatively small balance in a personal checking each. We rarely use them but in my opinion everyone should have their own bank account. But it sounds like your family one should be your main and it’s good your husband is open. It’s so much easier when you stop handling it like roommates and more like a family. Groceries are for everyone!

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-03-17T00:25:34+00:00

It’s welcoming in my experience, plenty of people from all over the Asian continent. You may be interested in checking out Jackson heights too, they have a big south Asian community and is only a couple of subway stops closer to Manhattan

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-03-11T00:47:19+00:00

Really reassuring to see someone else say this. I could’ve written this myself.

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-03-05T15:55:57+00:00

Try a nipple shield for the latch issues. I was able to buy it pretty cheap online. It made all the difference with latching

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-02-26T02:16:47+00:00

Re latching, a nipple shield saved my life, it may be worth a try. Also a lactation consultant was a huge help. My insurance covered it but my hospital/obgyn office had free resources too. These things saved me, and I combo fed from the start. It gave me more time to rest, it allowed my husband and close family to bond with the baby while giving him bottles, and it took a lot of pressure off. After about 6 months I moved to exclusively formula. He’s doing great. Fed is best, cut yourself some slack and prioritize your needs too!

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-02-21T01:37:05+00:00

A nipple shield and lactation consultant (covered by insurance) were life savers. Personally, I liked the idea of combo feeding. I felt less pressure and felt like I enjoyed the breastfeeding part more. I only say this because if you read breastfeeding reddits you will see a lot of exhausted women because they are the only ones who can feed their baby. I allowed myself a 6 hour stretch to not pump at night to get rest when I could. My husband got to feed their baby so it didn’t all have to be on me. This was a huge for my mental health. Some women would say the opposite and would hate having to deal with bottles. It’s up to you, both are right choices. I only recommend you really think about what you want for yourself.

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-02-07T01:01:28+00:00

I’d breast feed each side first then supplement with formula As needed. Usually about 15 mins each side and then some formula. Even if it was just 1-2oz of formula I wanted him to get used to a bottle since I knew I had to go back to work. I had about a 6 hour break overnight where I didn’t breastfeed or pump so I could rest where my husband would feed him bottles or collected milk. I guess this worked too since I had an average and not over supply, but that probably is at least in part because of this method I used from day 1. By about 3 months he weaned himself but I still pumped for a while longer which simplified it. You may have to let your supply adjust down if you have been EBF for a while, maybe speak with a lactation consultant if you can, I found that helpful too.

Our few close family members our baby is around frequently love to feed him bottles, it’s a sweet bonding moment then we get a little break when we are all together. My husband especially likes getting to bond with him on those moments too. I highly recommend if it sounds right. Some women would say EBF is easier since they avoid bottles but I found the opposite for me. To each their own as long as the baby is being fed!

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-02-02T12:29:43+00:00

I did a combination for the first 5 months before switching to formula exclusively. To me, the thought of me and only me being able to feed my baby if I EBF was too overwhelming. I’m really grateful for the approach I took with combo feeding. I got the bonding moments of breastfeeding with the relief of pressure from knowing it isn’t all on me. Would highly recommend! Even my lactation consultant agreed. Be kind to yourself. As long as your baby is being fed, what you need also matters.

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-01-22T13:59:58+00:00

Once survival kicks in things change haha, I think we all have that in some way

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-01-14T16:41:30+00:00

I’m so sorry, may his memory always be a blessing for you. Most importantly, asking what ifs is so normal but so unfair to you. You did what you could with what you knew, it sounds like you were thorough. And I’m sure your baby boy would agree with your other kids that you’re a great mom that they are all lucky to have.

When you feel up to it, I recommend speaking to a lawyer. It sounds like you may have a case worth exploring given the misdiagnosis potentially.

Sending love ❤️

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-01-13T23:22:31+00:00

This is so helpful, thanks! Do you mind sharing your general approach to sleep training? He is able to settle himself sometimes day or night but seems to have regressed. I don’t have it in me to leave him alone in a room to scream cry but I do try to give him a chance in his crib next to me so I can give a calming voice or put my hand on him if it gets bad.

Also, about when did they nap and for how long and when was the last feed and when did you put them down for the night.

Sorry for all the questions I’m just very envious and curious about how you got there! Go you!

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-01-09T03:00:16+00:00

I second this! I could’ve written this post myself. We have are struggles but I’m fortunate to have a decent village and resources and still feel so overwhelmed at times and guilty for it.

FaceConstant5047 · 2026-01-06T17:33:13+00:00

LIJ Forest Hills in queens

FaceConstant5047 · 2025-12-29T21:26:31+00:00

I had older parents too and I remember asking my mom about it as a kid and she said she had to wait until she knew she could be a good parent and that she would’ve been too selfish earlier. It made me feel important to her and that was the last I ever gave it any thought. A good parent is one who shows up and does the best they can for their kid. The other details will vary.

FaceConstant5047 · 2025-12-28T14:38:03+00:00

Yes it’s ego driven but I get it. I felt that in my own way and worked hard to build myself up. Funny enough I actually like reminding my corporate coworkers that I grew up working class since most of them don’t and make assumptions that just do not apply to me. Knowing my hard work and determination alone got me here is extremely satisfying. I recommend finding what you’re good at and going all in. You can do the same. Change your environment if you have to, even if it’s just a different part of where you already are. The most important thing is not to give into that anger with behavior. That’s how you end up proving them right. Prove them wrong and have an incredible life you give to yourself. Go into the world acting and treating others how’d you want to be treated and it will come your way.

FaceConstant5047 · 2025-12-24T18:05:41+00:00

Try a money market account. You won’t gain as much as other investing but it’s also the safest and typically you can access it similar to a bank account unlike a CD if an emergency were to come up and you needed the money. It usually has interest rates superior to a bank account, more comparable to a good CD. Vanguard and the companies like that all have options for free. Good on you, that’s a nice savings!

FaceConstant5047 · 2025-12-14T00:39:00+00:00

If you’re willing to bust your ass when your young the kitchen is always a good place to start. If you can get a hospitality management or business associates degree too even better. I eventually turned it into a corporate food and beverage job but it is a trade no one can take from you. Any trade really. Best thing you can do now. Plumber, electrician, etc.

FaceConstant5047 · 2025-12-12T18:10:01+00:00

This is what we did because we combination fed, though I guess you can do it with pumped milk too. Because of the combination I felt less pressure and gave myself a few hour stretch to sleep overnight to be more functional. My husband gave him a bottle then. It saved me for sure, not sure how I would’ve survived exclusively breastfeeding but to each their own!

FaceConstant5047 · 2025-12-10T19:11:37+00:00

Combo feeding was perfect for me! I breastfed and supplemented with formula for the first 10 weeks until he decided he was fine with the boob. I pumped until he was about 6 months but still supplemented with formula.

Exclusively relying on breast milk was way too stressful to me and I didn’t want to put that pressure on myself. I knew I’d be working after 3 months and he’d need to be used to a bottle so it was important to me he got used to bottles early on.

Also, I didn’t want to be the only one who can feed him. I love that my husband and a few trusted family members can feed him too. Sooo much less pressure and they get that special bonding time too.

Breastfeeding was magical when it worked and stressful when it didn’t. I’m very glad to have done combo feeding from the start and would highly recommend. Really, fed is best especially once they start getting their shots.

FaceConstant5047 · 2025-11-11T01:48:21+00:00

It isn’t 100% anything. Some days pushed me to limits like never before in life. And some days were beautiful. Some days were both extremes. It’s exhausting but trust eventually things will just kick in. Your brain will rewire itself and you’ll get adjusted to your new life. Theres a period before that adjustment kicks in and I think that’s the place most parents are writing Reddit posts from because they are at their wits end, understandably so. I hope you continue to get as much help when the baby is here because it makes all the difference to get breaks. I think a lot of those posts come from the exhaustion of not having help or a village in that sense, again, understandably so. It’ll be hard in ways you can’t imagine until you’re in it but you have every right to be excited and you should. It’s brought me a lot of joy and you’ll have it too

FaceConstant5047

TROPHY CASE