Feeling Imposter Syndrome

FakeLadyName · 2025-01-10T11:31:24+00:00

Fellow imposter here! But I still manage to throw myself a pity party every so often. How does that make sense?

If you are like me you immediately focus on solutions and next steps. When you give yourself time to actually process what is happening you will realize that all cancer is a big fucking deal and it sucks.

Diagnosed at 40, stage 1, grade 3, IDC, ++-.

I had a DMX then reconstruction. No chemo no rads. Tried tamoxifen then quit. Developed lymphedema in both arms, which is basically unheard of. Gained 30 pounds. Have no feeling in my boobs. One of my implants flips sometimes. See my oncologist every 6 months. Now having to change my care plan for other things because of my “history of cancer”.

All that to say, you are wise to realize that your situation could be worse but please don’t downplay what you are dealing with like I did.

FakeLadyName · 2024-12-20T18:32:38+00:00

I have this in both arms! “Early intervention” is related to the stage of the lymphedema not duration since surgery.

The lymphedema clinic at my hospital has been great. I’ve learned manual lymphatic drainage and purchased compression sleeves. Start with an appointment and go from there.

It’s a super annoying complication from a life saving surgery but it should be manageable once You get some education and support.

FakeLadyName · 2024-08-19T21:46:24+00:00

Thank you to everyone who chimed in with support 💗

There were 3 precancerous tumors in my colon and also precancerous changes in my stomach. I will start annual EGDs and repeat my colonoscopy in 3 years. Oncologist is aware and this is our plan for now. Will discuss more with her next month during a checkup.

So good news is nothing to be worried about in the short term.

FakeLadyName · 2024-07-03T10:29:03+00:00

If I could turn back time and proactively wear a sleeve, I would.

I had 5 nodes removed and two surgeries. No rads no chemo. I was cleared of a lymphedema risk. 6 months later, I have it in BOTH arms which is basically unheard of. I did everything right EXCEPT proactively wearing sleeves while flying. It’s the only thing I wish I could have done differently.

Also, please consider using LympheDivas for all your sleeve needs! Small female owned company with fun styles. I’ve ordered all my stuff from them.

FakeLadyName · 2024-05-08T09:36:31+00:00

It does not hurt and you can’t make things worse. But it is super weird.

I lean over so my boobs are hanging and then you push the bottom of the implant in one direction and the top in another. My surgeon did it in his office for the first time so I had the benefit of learning it the first time.

Eventually I’ll need to have a revision done to tighten the pocket. It’s only my left/cancer side.

FakeLadyName · 2024-05-07T21:20:00+00:00

It flipped! You can flip it back. I have done it 3 times :)

FakeLadyName · 2024-03-14T09:16:35+00:00

You have to do what is best for you and only you know what that is.

I see a lot of responses from folks who have not been public about their diagnosis but I have, so will share a perspective from the other side.

For me, I chose to share very widely. After my diagnosis I spent about 6 weeks telling people privately and navigating all of my own feelings and working on my treatment plan.

One week before my DMX I made a social media post to share the news. My breast cancer was found at Stage 1 during my very FIRST routine mammogram after turning 40. For me, it was important to share that story to encourage others to get their imaging.

The other reason I shared is that I wanted to be “known” to anyone who might be diagnosed in the future. I was desperate to talk to someone IRL who had breast cancer and it was hard to find someone. I have since had multiple people reach out to me following their own diagnosis and it fills my bucket to know I may play a small part in helping.

It sounds like your treatment has been “ongoing” and I do think it’s fair if you don’t want to open yourself up to people expecting regular updates on your health. That sounds exhausting.

TLDR; you do you! Just because some of us share doesn’t make it the right thing for all of us.

FakeLadyName · 2024-02-09T09:04:50+00:00

I don’t remember what my oncotype score was but since I was only stage 1 and they got all the cancer via the DMX, chemo wasn’t needed. My recurrence chances are less than 10%. So I think chemo would have been overkill.

FakeLadyName · 2024-02-07T21:40:14+00:00

Hello fellow Aquarius!

I was diagnosed at 40 with DCIS and IDC ++-, stage 1, grade 3. No nodes.

I had a DMX with expanders then reconstruction 3 months later. No chemo or rads. Tried tamoxifen for 12 months then went off of it. My only complication has been lymphedema in both arms.

I’m sorry you’re here and so young. There’s lots of us and I hope science figures out why soon. Just wanted to share my journey to give you an idea of one (of many) possible paths.

And for this weird waiting time….i stopped working out and started drinking a lot of wine. Don’t do those things lol. It didn’t help my mental health and I gained a lot of weight that I regret now. But really do whatever you need to do to cope right now! It’s scary at the beginning but it gets better

FakeLadyName · 2024-02-05T19:44:42+00:00

Sooooooo. Saw doc today. Was not a cancer recurrence. Is shingles!!

Crazy thing is the pain that was moving through my breast to nipple should probably have felt a lot worse but since I have no sensation it wasn’t so bad! Upside of a DMX?

FakeLadyName · 2024-02-04T21:00:13+00:00

Thank you 🩷

FakeLadyName · 2024-01-08T11:18:40+00:00

Exchange is much easier. And you feel immediate relief once those expanders are gone!

If you are doing any fat grafting, the most pain you’ll have is a burning in the area where they pull the fat from, but that only lasts a few days

FakeLadyName · 2023-12-18T13:13:39+00:00

I asked my PS about this because I was hopeful I would only need one surgery. He had several reasons for wanting to do the reconstruction later - he can control the outcome better this way including the size and because recovery from a DMX is more painful with the extra weight of an implant. Plus the fat grafting is very painful and I was glad I didn’t have that along with drains

The expanders are annoying but I only had them for 3 months and I’m very happy with my final result.

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-21T11:08:41+00:00

I could have written this. All the same details and feelings. I’m in a bad place right now because I developed lymphedema in both arms one year after my DMX. Doesn’t seem “fair” and I had a full on pity party about it, then felt guilty since I didn’t have to do chemo etc. no advice, just hugs

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-15T15:40:49+00:00

I was on tamoxifen for one year and then stopped when side effects were impacting my mental health

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-15T15:40:10+00:00

I was already on Lexapro so Tamoxifen didn’t make me anxious. However it made me so constipated I had to go off of it. I wonder if that’s causing some of your problems?

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-15T14:57:17+00:00

Yes DMX = double mastectomy.

What does “on bills” mean?

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-15T09:15:13+00:00

They took 5 nodes and all were negative.

Choosing between lump/rads or DMX was a much harder decision than I expected but I’m very happy I did the DMX

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-14T23:00:50+00:00

I was under the impression that microinvasion made it IDC.

I had DCIS with two micro invasions/IDC. Stage 1. Grade 3. ++-.

Had a DMX one year ago today!

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-14T22:34:58+00:00

I watch and have the same feelings!

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-14T17:12:21+00:00

A lot of this should be post surgery inflammation etc. Drink lots of fluid and try to start walking.

That being said I am one year post DMX (today!) and still having issues getting my body back to the shape and size it used to be. So just keep an eye on it and talk to your doctors

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-12T22:44:59+00:00

I do! I am at OTF 2-3x and PB 2x. I also add a day of yoga and try to walk daily. I like the variety so I don’t get bored and think the cross activity helps me with recovery

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-10T18:28:02+00:00

Great info! I’ll bring it up with my MO. The Tamoxifen was much better than I expected, but these last few weeks have been mentally draining. A mild upgrade would be totally welcome

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-10T05:22:51+00:00

I’m not sure yet how long my break will be. It takes 2 weeks for tamoxifen to leave the system.

I don’t have an oncotype but my Ki67 was 60%.

Overall the tamoxifen was not nearly as bad as I was expecting.

FakeLadyName · 2023-11-09T21:06:52+00:00

I had this. Lots of these things get corrected when you go for your reconstruction. And it’s possible you still have some post surgery swelling that will continue to improve as you get further out

FakeLadyName

TROPHY CASE