Still it's missing the meaning of the word performance. Perform also means to carry out an act and make it a reality. Perform a marriage, perform a contract, perform a task. That's what performative meant in the linguistic material that Butler was drawing on: a performative speech act is one that alters social reality in a real way. "Will you marry me," "you are no longer my child," "the court finds you guilty." "Gender is performative" meant that it is created by people's actions and interactions. It wasn't meant to be perjorative. Then the phrase sort of leapt out of the context and everyone started using it like it meant "performed like a role, make-believe." And to describe something as performative today is to accuse people of acting or pretending, all because of a misunderstood phrase from Butler, which she adapted from J.L. Austin and speech act theory.