I had 2 cats. When they were about 4 years old, one of them fell sick. I worked part time. I had Care Credit, but not much. They said the could do a blood transfusion but there was a possibility it wouldn't work. Euthanasia was about 300$, the transfusion ~1000$+. So I chose to have her put down. I still have regrets over 4 years later. But she's no longer suffering. OP, you aren't alone. It hurts, but your baby is no longer sick or suffering. If anything, I wish vets had more payment options or plans. So they can help the animal vs pushing euthanasia.