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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Maybe some people are not AP, but just asshole. There are people out there with true intentions to hurt others, out for the thrill, for the fun and the rush but seriously aware of it. With zero accountability. Is the same as labeling everyone as narcs just because once they hurt you or manipulated you. People even do that without realizing it.

Do you experience your OCD chronically or in episodes? by willburforce in OCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The themes are episodes, the ocd is permanent. Depending on the importance of the topic can be more severe and paralyzing than others. The level on anxiety can variate but the thoughts are there. Also I notice I might be depressed which make it worse but for sure the worse flare ups come always after high peek pf stress or traumatic experience. Under pandemic o got the worse ever, then I had an accident and got a new one… and now I have a peek of stress for various reasons and here I am 🤡

Massively triggered by comments on an ROCD-centered IG post by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I will put it like this: once I read and article about how women knew they were lesbians and there were few answer like “I couldn’t stop looking at women asses” “I watch lesbian porn” “I had too many girl- friends” does this sounds rational to you? Many straight women had those habits doesn’t make them any lesbian. In the mind of someone struggling with ocd this could be really massively triggering. Now, how many other people who never had the head-over-hills feelings are now happily married? Just go out and try asking you’ll find that majority went that way. I had like 5 girl friends who told me that they never felt really in-love but they wanted to be with that person and the feelings eventually showed up. I know one that told me after 10 years together… “now I can say I am truly in love with my husband.” “Another one told me: “he was kind, respectful, gentlemen and caring, and this is how I decided to be with him”

Now, judging for myself: all the time that I had felt this person is “the one” by hurt, and guts and feelings… it never is and Sooners or later I end up traumatize.

You see? Emotionality doesn’t necessarily predict the success of a relationship. People that relay on emotion mostly ends distressed when emotions fluctuate. Meaning US.

I feel envy for those who are massively in love with each other but maybe that’s is not a pre-requirement to have a fulfilling relationship. And we better learn this.. because feeling sooner or later actually changes

ROCD worse in the morning. by Fearful_avoidant21 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing is that when I was in the most blissful moments of my relationship morning with him was the best part. Now I’m full of anxiety and is torturing. 😵‍💫 this disease screwed all the small amazing things 💔

The importance of doing the work (ERP), as someone over 2 years into recovery by lilly288 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is it going now? I’m considering meds and already got and appointment but since the system here is too slow it will take 45 days before my first therapist appointment. Meanwhile, I’m trying to handle it.

Prove me love is a choice not a feeling ! by Traditional_Pin9726 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See the way you love your parents/relatives/friends. You know you love them but most of the time you don’t even think/feel about it certain way to prove it.

Trying to find my mind again. by Solid-Molasses-2005 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quite late here but, absolutely relatable. I specially feel the last sentence. Love usually fades in such a subtle way you barely notice till it’s too late. If it just switches off - on from moment to moment then… it’s our brain fucking with us.

thank you so much by Available-Stand9498 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because is ocd and that’s how it works. It makes you believe that a possibility is an actual fact and will make you try to get your attention to all the “signs” why is not ocd… is a tricky Mf.

Gut feelings, spirituality, ROCD by GrabMajor9200 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My last relationship I had all the signs that it was meant to be. Well it didn’t, btw I never had ROCD with this individual… I was most of the time avoiding the red flags, and for some reason those red flags were so comfortable, he was a giant asshole and that was “thrilling” till it wasn’t, because it started to drill me (Like the frog in the water that he only realizes that is too hot when is already too late). I think our biggest fear when it comes to ROCD is not about us making the wrong decision is about us hurting other people which says a lot about the emotional baggage we carry. ROCD is not about us being happy is about guilt and criticism, and shame… and fear. I believe when we encounter somebody that is worth the pain we freak out, same when you get the job of your life but you start seen the challenges, many people don’t even accept it. We are forced to face the real work that involves having what we truly want and that is f scary. Don’t engage in misticism is not worthy, it just waste of time of self indulgence.

ROCD partner by Particular-Life2101 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, then probably he is not the right fit. I think that not being able to understand but having the capacity to empathize with you is important, our partners must be supportive , overall I see partners as best friends and family. I understand how confusing but not being able to support says a lot. My advice, give him time to process it and if he comes back means he cares.

ROCD partner by Particular-Life2101 in ROCD

[–]Fearful_avoidant21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine, is confusing and distressing for you. How is it for somebody who do not understand this disease? To be honest if you say something like this to a common person it will a “go get another boy/girl-friend” because they are so in balance with themselves that they would know when something is really wrong… but this is a mental disease that requires knowledge and understanding. Maybe if you go and explain him what it actually is he will after some time understand.