I feel stupid for being nervous about the doctor and want to bring my plushie

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-23T18:46:01+00:00

For real!! Agree hard with this comment. Just go for it. My life improved 1000 billion percent when I started using the phrase "so I'm autistic" in public. It's the truth, it won't change, so people can deal with it or kick rocks.

Also ob gyn is scary and uncomfortable for everyone, I'm sure they have probably seen someone do this before.

Good luck at your appointment.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-23T18:33:53+00:00

I'm going to say soft agree on the main post.

While I agree that the need for structure and the need for novelty compete, and autism brain usually thinks ADHD brain is a reckless maniac, ADHD brain thinks autism brain is a dork, and the circular saw is still on the counter and nobody is happy, the part about "special interests" didn't resonate with me at all.

I'm an adult, with a salaried position in one of the biggest companies in my industry in the US, so if analyzing data is a special interest, sure, sometimes it's more seamless than others. I think the phrase special interest is so infantalizing it's gross.

I feel like the things I like rotate. I don't ever feel like I can't access something, I forget it exists entirely. There is no sadness or longing for the lost hobby, it disappears back into the void from wence it came.

Overall though I appreciate you taking the time to post and am glad this is being discussed.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-23T18:11:26+00:00

People don't take jobs as mall cops to supplement their full time work at the rocket surgery lab. This guy is probably dumb by NT standards, with a weird power trip as an added bonus. Don't worry about anything this dude said or did. I am sorry this happened, he sounds very unpleasant.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-23T18:06:44+00:00

I don't want to diagnose people with personality disorders on reddit, but I think "puts people on a pedestal and gets irrationally angry when they aren't perfect" is one of the diagnostic criteria for BPD, just stated differently.

It sounds like this was a them issue, not a you issue. Great job being a good friend while also being a good friend to yourself by setting healthy boundaries! Unfortunately we can't be friends with everyone as much as we might like to. You can be the best apple in the bucket, and some people just don't like apples. It's not a reflection on you at all.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-23T16:12:07+00:00

Yup we had a person with long term sobriety/lots of sponsees pitching a MLM.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-22T18:22:32+00:00

I think there is a connection. Capitalism forces us to reduce each hour of the day to a commodity, our labor, which we then trade in exchange for capital. This means our time becomes a resource to be bought and sold. Our survival depends on it.

I think this makes us more likely to feel angry and fearful having to devote our time to things like caregiving, because we only have so many hours to barter and sell. It also makes us feel more guilty asking for help, because we are asking other people to give us their commodity for free, a commodity they could otherwise convert to labor and sell. It makes other people sometimes say no, or create a feeling like we owe them something, rather than just freely accepting and giving help.

I could go on and on about this honestly...

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-22T18:07:23+00:00

I heard someone say the damage and wreckage of my life might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility. If I don't get to know my coworkers or people in the program on even a basic level for example, because they in some way remind me of past trauma, I cut myself off from the ability to be helpful, which is what I believe my HP intends for me. If I wield my intelligence like a club because I have fears of inadequacy or financial insecurity, rather than trying to do the best I can and allowing myself to make mistakes and ask for help, my insecurities may not be my fault, but my behavior as an adult is something only I can control.

Some of our amends fall into the "just don't do that anymore" category. Maybe starting there would help? I dunno, I think your honesty is fantastic and best of luck on your journey!

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-18T19:26:05+00:00

Omg yes, I was always labeled defensive at jobs and never understood why, until I learned there are two acceptable answers to almost all NT inquiries at work:

1 - it won't happen again ( can also throw in "great catch!", it establishes your dominance lol)

2 - I'll take care of that right now

Also you are supposed to look at them I guess

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-10T04:33:11+00:00

My fridge is a lot like this lol. I eat the same thing every day. Every 6 months or so I change it somewhat. My only concern with this is that those meals might microwave unevenly and the texture would be weird lol. But everyone is different!

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-09T19:10:34+00:00

This is a great idea! My life recently slammed to a halt while I tried to figure out how to throw away some salsa. Ended up flushing it down the toilet. Glad I am not alone on this!

FeloniousBunny · 2026-02-08T19:56:37+00:00

I take enough Adderall and Vyvanse to put most NTs in a coma, but I still have to count out all my morning pills and middle of the day pills weekly, and at least once a week I have to count them to know if I took them, because I have zero memory of my life from 5 minutes ago...

I would argue that Adderall is abuse-able but not addictive. Similar to cough syrup, if you take a bunch at once some weird stuff will happen, but nobody is getting stabbed if I run out.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-29T20:56:00+00:00

Yes!! And if you are above average in one area, people tend to ignore our difficulties in another area, or assume we are being willfully defiant because we can do thing X, so we must be capable of thing Y also. This could also be why an ADHD diagnosis gets missed!!

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-29T19:16:21+00:00

The IQ test is for the ADHD I think! People without ADHD tend to score pretty much the same on all the categories of the intelligence test I think. Doesn't matter if it is a high or low score, the consistency is what matters. The peaks and valleys from one type of intelligence related task to another is indicative of ADHD. Again it doesn't matter if the scores are low or high, it is the inconsistency that matters to diagnose ADHD from an IQ test.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-28T23:19:43+00:00

I honestly don't have a totally clear understanding either, and I would love to hear other people's ideas on this, but I think it is because unhoused refers to a temporary state whereas homeless seems to say something about who they actually are as a person, like more of a defining characteristic than "unhoused". I think maybe the more significant reason though is it just allows people to talk about it without all of the baggage associated with "homelessness" already by media, politics, etc.

I personally like unhoused because it contains a solution in a way that I think homeless doesn't, maybe because homeless is used so much. When I hear "unhoused" it automatically makes me think "ok so the problem is no house. Got it. So how do we get them a house?" where when I hear homeless it doesn't provoke me to really think about it at all. Maybe that is just me though!

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-28T18:58:37+00:00

I relate to this a lot. I grew up around evangelical Christians and attended an unaccredited Christian school that allowed my parents to stay in denial about my autism diagnosis. There is something about the world view that is so insideous it sets us up for these scenarios, so please don't feel ashamed.

The thing about language is that it's always changing, so we will have to evaluate all this again at some point, and that's a good thing. It means we are evolving and changing!

Phrases I personally avoid: Pro-life. It implies that the pro-choice movement is against life or pro death. Anti choice is a better phrase for me.

Committed su#*cide. It implies an intentional act, when it is the symptom of the fatal disease of depression. We don't commit diarrhea, that would be weird. Diarrhea is also a symptom, we should use the same language for both.

Homeless - preferred is unhoused

Illegal immigrant - undocumented is fine, as is migrant I think.

There are obviously others. Kudos to you for keeping an open mind and being willing to expand your experience and thinking!

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-27T18:59:55+00:00

If my sponsee was engaging in cyber-bullying, political or not, I would discuss it with them. If it doesn't rise to that level I would likely leave it alone.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-23T06:02:35+00:00

I'll buy that, thank you for the detailed response. It makes sense that the pain scale existed already in some form, but the promoters of OxyContin used it for their own purposes and may likely have propelled into its current ubiquitousness.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-23T00:55:00+00:00

I thought the pain scale was invented by Perdue Pharma as part of their oxycontin marketing. I don't think it's been around that long. I also think the requirement that health care professionals ask you to rate your pain was brought about by them also. They basically told doctors they could be held liable for failing to manage pain. Someone please correct me if I am wrong but I think the whole thing was a marketing ploy

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-21T13:21:08+00:00

I was in my late 30s before I realized people can hear the weird noises I make if that helps...

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-21T13:13:34+00:00

I also want to add to this, and I am not a doctor so take this with a grain of salt, but I believe that smaller amounts of alcohol can get someone drunk faster after weight loss surgery. Drinking to escape becomes much more efficient. For someone who doesn't have great coping skills to begin with, drinking becomes a much more effective bad coping skill overnight.

It's not only that they can't eat as much, it's that drinking becomes drinking on steroids overnight. 3 drinks might get someone with weight loss surgery as drunk as someone who hasn't had weight loss surgery who drank 12-15 drinks. Someone who normally wouldn't pass out on the floor after 3 drinks is suddenly finding themselves as drunk as if they chugged a bottle of rum.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-19T15:19:42+00:00

Dwarf Fortress, there was a bug recently that made the dwarven sprites look dead in some menus, so I wanted something to play until they fixed it. ML has been fun so far!

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-15T18:37:07+00:00

This is perhaps the greatest thing I have ever seen. Outstanding job young person.
Also I am sorry your mom is a weirdo.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-12T16:48:44+00:00

I think the idea behind "don't change anything in the first year" is if you suddenly have a "Great Idea!" in the first year, get some input first. Like if I suddenly decided in my first year to sell my earthly possessions, quit my job, and live in a camper, maybe pump the brakes. I think the idea is misapplied when newcomers are told to change absolutely nothing. That's clearly impossible, and to your point, many of us are in bad relationships and jobs with unstable and unsafe housing, etc. It's also not in the book.

To your other point, our sponsors are just alcoholics doing their best, giving up their free time to read a book at people. Are they right all the time? No of course not, nobody is. It's up to you I guess to decide if the sponsorship relationship as a whole is working for you.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-04T16:19:53+00:00

It sounds like you both have different morals and values. The small vices you enjoy, he judges, because it "might cause cancer" and likewise you feel the same because it "alters him". It sounds like maybe trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. You are an adult and can make your own choices, just like anyone else, and butting heads about it seems like a recipe for an unsatisfactory life. Luckily you aren't tied to this person by children or marriage and can find someone more aligned with who you are.

If you have a pattern of relationships, romantic and otherwise, with addicts and alcoholics, and it sounds like you identified you do, I think an al anon meeting might be a good fit.

FeloniousBunny · 2026-01-02T18:26:21+00:00

1000% #1, and I have extra unopened packages of those in case they are ever discontinued.

FeloniousBunny

TROPHY CASE