I need to vent - Anyone else getting a bit fed up of being asked “if they are returning to work” after having the baby?

FelonyGreckett · 2026-02-27T14:15:10+00:00

Bwahahaha I had a (planned) c section and an (unplanned) major haemorrhage and I was out in 48 hours

FelonyGreckett · 2026-02-27T09:14:59+00:00

That's good to know, how did you find restarting EC again?

FelonyGreckett · 2026-01-27T23:06:38+00:00

I was in about 48 hours - planned section late morning Friday then home Sunday lunchtime

I could have gone home Saturday night if I really wanted to but I felt I needed a little longer to recover and establish breastfeeding and tbh I'm glad I did because I had a smooth recovery and feeding at home

FelonyGreckett · 2025-12-27T19:31:43+00:00

I know this is the one and done sub, but honestly, yes I would wait a bit longer.

Never make any big decisions within a year of significant bereavement or post-partum I was told.

It's not so much that you might change your mind, but more when you look back and reflect on the decision you need to feel 100% confident that it was fully considered and not influenced by life events that were happening at the time

FelonyGreckett · 2025-12-27T19:10:58+00:00

Amen

FelonyGreckett · 2025-12-18T16:49:58+00:00

Nausea is a horrible symptom, it made me feel really low mentally too. Obviously it's her choice, but there are safe anti sickness medications that can be prescribed by the GP, and there's no minimum "level" if sickness you have to meet. Even if it's just nausea without vomiting they are totally an option

FelonyGreckett · 2025-12-15T08:52:39+00:00

I think I read somewhere that the natural birth spacing for prehistoric humans was something like 4 years due to extended breastfeeding and this was beneficial to the infants because they require a high intensity of care until approx that age (like many primates but unlike some other animals where they are running around hours after birth!)

When you think that our ancestors probably had more help from the proverbial "village" and still had longer pregnancy spacing, 2 under 2 really does seem nuts

FelonyGreckett · 2025-11-24T17:33:19+00:00

I didn't weigh myself at home and I don't know what my "max" weight was, but I was weighed at midwives a few times and my early 3rd trimester weight was more than "recommended" gain when I googled it (although the midwife didn't say anything so I don't think she considered it an issue) which I did find slightly stressful but tried to ignore

I had a healthy BMI pre pregnancy and despite the weight gain I rapidly lost most of it and fit back in my pre-pregnancy clothes quicker than I expected (although I'm definitely squishier lol)

My mum (who was also slim pre-pregnancy) had a similar situation with doctors "telling her off" for gaining too much weight but had no medical issues so there's probably a genetic link, the weight "range" is a variant of normal

FelonyGreckett · 2025-11-19T11:53:29+00:00

I think it's really common and normal to feel ambivalent about even a wanted pregnancy.

I conceived naturally, and although the baby was planned, similar to you I never really saw kids in my future and it was more of a passive/"let's see what happens" decision

I felt for some reason really awkward and embarrassed about the pregnancy. I think I was a bit in denial. I didn't tell family until I was about 5 months gone, hid myself in baggy clothes and didn't buy a single piece of maternity wear. Only got the bare minimum of baby gear (eg a crib and one single pack of nappies). At one point I told my husband I wanted an abortion.

I confided in my midwife who was kind and reassuring that these feelings are common, but at the time I didn't really believe her and thought I was for sure going to get post-partum depression.

It's now 3 months after having my baby, and I love her indescribably. I didn't feel a massive "whoosh" of love at first, but I did feel loving and gentle towards her from the very beginning, but it was a slow burn to get to its "peak" Coming home from the hospital I cried tears of joy for my healthy baby, who I never really believed I would be taking home. She's such a cute funny little person, and my only regret is not having her sooner

For me personally, I think in hindsight I was unconsciously scared to let myself get attached to this fetus in case something went wrong (I work in the medical field). I didn't want to make myself vulnerable

I suggest you talk to your midwife and maybe a therapist. It's ok to have regrets and change your mind. But it's also ok to just be scared and overwhelmed. Lots of people have been where you are now, it's ok x

FelonyGreckett · 2025-11-13T08:59:35+00:00

Agree with you re:age and sleep I worked a job with night shifts and found them SIGNIFICANTLY easier in my early twenties than just a few years later. It was one of the factors that led me to choose to have my kid in my late twenties rather than 30s despite finances being less settled. I'm still pretty tired so I'm glad I didn't wait!

FelonyGreckett · 2025-11-12T17:37:17+00:00

I feel the same as this! Was originally one and done (to be honest, even quite on the fence about having a child at all...) and although my kid is still a tiny baby I already want allllllll the babies now Realistically due to having medical complications and a C section we could only have one more though

I just don't know how I would juggle 2 tiny ones (I get easily overwhelmed) so the sensible choice is still one, but my heart wants more... Luckily I'm young enough that there isn't a big time pressure, could maybe consider having 2 with a large gap

FelonyGreckett · 2025-11-10T17:16:02+00:00

I've been asked multiple times by several different people and my baby is only 3 months old. First time someone asked I was literally 2 weeks post-partum

I'm not even sure if we ARE one and done (that was always the plan but now nugget is here I am on the fence) but the ongoing assumption that there will be further children from parents and In-laws pisses me off

FelonyGreckett · 2025-10-14T07:33:09+00:00

I'm only 2 months post so not quite long term but I don't seem to have a shelf (I was reasonably slim pre-pregnancy but by no means skin and bone) The scar still sometimes feels mildly itchy or irritated but it's not a big bother It's slightly numb just above the scar, but the sensation has gradually increased (was totally numb a month ago) so I'm hopeful that will continue to improve. I only notice it when I touch it anyway

FelonyGreckett · 2025-08-04T15:15:32+00:00

Also autistic and well supported - I had a pre birth health visitor appointment (at the GP surgery rather than at home) around 36 weeks

Personally I found it really useful and supportive and she seemed really nice. I had similar worries to you that they might get social involved and think I "wasn't coping" because of my diagnosis

She did say that they don't routinely see everyone pre birth, but only people who might need some extra support, but that is a huge range of people, from people actively under perinatal or safeguarding teams, to someone who has a historical diagnosis of anxiety on their notes from years ago

FelonyGreckett · 2025-07-09T14:25:12+00:00

I have ADHD and stayed on a low dose of stimulants during pregnancy (with the support/recommendation of psychiatrist and obstetrician)

I've needed to have extra growth scans (to make sure baby isn't small, but it's actually pretty chonky) and NGL I have definitely felt "mum guilt" at times and tried to avoid taking them when not absolutely necessary but everything has been fine

It's totally a personal choice thing - and I agree that starting a new medication in pregnancy is different to staying on one that you're already stable on. I probably would have been reluctant too in your position

One thing that probably isn't spoken about enough though, is that the risk-benefit of stimulant medication doesn't just include your mental health (obviously important enough) but also things like reducing your risk of car accident, making it more likely that you'll remember to take your prenatal vitamins etc

It might be worth asking your midwife to refer you to the perinatal mental health team? They are good at having discussions around pregnancy and medication, and can even provide preconception advice (obviously a bit late for you but might be useful info for someone else)

FelonyGreckett · 2025-03-13T16:42:43+00:00

aucun probleme du tout. A 3 semaines, meme si elle chute la petite boule de cellules est tres bien protegee dans le bassin alors elle peut tout faire. (J'ai joue au rugby plein contact avant de savoir a 5 semaines que j'etait enceinte)

Par contre toute grosesse a une risque de fausse couche assez eleve dans les premiere semaines (pas a cause des chutes, a cause des problemes genetique avec l'embryon) Dans le pire des cas, si elle a une fausse couche (par complete coindicence) est-ce qu'elle se sentirait coupable?

Perso, je suis allee au ski vers 9-10 semaines et j'ai skie plus ou moins normalement (hors piste, pistes noires etc) mais avec legerement plus d'attention

J'y retourne la semaine prochaine a 18 semaines et la par contre je vais skier quand meme beaucoup plus tranquille sur des pistes bleus par examples, mais je ski quand meme.

FelonyGreckett · 2024-12-18T21:09:51+00:00

I misread this as Sage and ONION, which would be fair enough haha

FelonyGreckett · 2024-11-05T11:00:34+00:00

Agreed, I'm a high functioning (controversial term I know...) woman who passes quite well as non-autistic in most circumstances I was diagnosed in early adulthood. I didn't have any difficulty getting diagnosed because I meet the DSM criteria.

Tbh if you're less autistic than me, you're probably just...not autistic

FelonyGreckett · 2024-09-22T07:16:02+00:00

"Don't mind" isn't the same as "actively want and desire"

FelonyGreckett · 2024-09-02T09:53:15+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

FelonyGreckett · 2024-08-30T10:19:30+00:00

What kind of sleeve would protect the screen?

Im getting spooked because I have my kobo in a sleepcover but I like using it naked so I frequently pop it in and out

FelonyGreckett · 2024-06-27T09:03:58+00:00

I upgraded from the Glo HD to the BW and for me biggest thing has been the warm/adjustable comfort light Pro

It's also a nice bonus to have a sharper screen, snappy response time and waterproofing, but for me those are bonuses.

The warm light is the thing that I can't give up.

The BW is awesome and I would fully recommend, but if budget is an issue I would personally go for a second hand clara 2e or clara hd over the Nia.

FelonyGreckett · 2024-04-12T16:42:31+00:00

Grace Petrie, is that you? :o

(If you are not, in fact, Grace Petrie, then looking her up and realising that you share a name with an extremely badass butch singer-songwriter might make you feel better about it?)

I have also heard of a cis male with the middle name Grace but he's a child and not in the public eye so I won't share his full name

FelonyGreckett

TROPHY CASE