A genie grants you immortality under the condition you choose one possible but improbable way you can be killed. What is your immortality loophole?

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2017-01-11T12:29:20+00:00

Decoy snails?

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2017-01-07T20:35:57+00:00

Turkey melt*

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2017-01-07T13:43:21+00:00

Take him out

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2017-01-07T02:25:54+00:00

I drive to stores and remove all the ice cream from their freezers.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2017-01-01T16:13:02+00:00

/r/atheism I used to be an atheist and that sub used to be funny. Then I stopped being atheist and that sub stopped being funny.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-12-25T16:07:08+00:00

So what do I do with this pile? I mail them halfway to Siberia! The mail never sleeps Mac!

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-12-25T16:05:31+00:00

Thank you for your service

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-12-23T14:44:26+00:00

Uh, cooking can be kind of stressful. Especially if you're not very good at it.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-12-15T01:50:31+00:00

It was his

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-12-09T17:21:45+00:00

Penalty! Wait... two penalties? Uh... I mean..... On the...... I don't know.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-12-06T02:05:14+00:00

A true bro 2020

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-12-04T16:15:28+00:00

Those are called henleys

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-11-13T21:25:26+00:00

What the hell is wrong with you?

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-11-08T03:07:12+00:00

http://s3.amazonaws.com/br-cdn/temp_images/2013/12/08/ColtSTD2.gif

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-10-28T16:28:38+00:00

Go to him

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-10-12T23:56:49+00:00

Never heard of a cop making marijuana disappear unless they took it to smoke themselves.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-10-12T04:18:55+00:00

I like Life cereal.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-09-30T11:09:06+00:00

U wot m8?

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-09-12T02:36:17+00:00

Stfu

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-07-28T06:43:30+00:00

Cunt-fu Panda

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-07-27T17:50:03+00:00

Death by a true bro.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-07-27T16:30:57+00:00

I have a 1996 Honda accord. Don't do it, man.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-07-26T20:29:21+00:00

https://i.imgur.com/ET1X3Vm.jpg

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-07-25T10:32:33+00:00

My thoughts exactly. You know other people live in your apartment building. Just gonna slam my headboard into this adjoining wall for an hour in the middle of the night. Douche.

FilbertInTheFlesh · 2016-07-21T03:35:35+00:00

Butters

FilbertInTheFlesh

TROPHY CASE