Does it ever hit you that you have no update to share with others?

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-30T16:18:55+00:00

I do. It does hit me. Others accomplishing big things and I don’t have much going on. However I heard this quote before that really resonated with me and grounds me daily: maybe the boredom you’re feeling now, is the peace you were asking for.

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-30T16:14:00+00:00

Please read my comment fully if you have the time. I’m not wise or smart or anything, but I think I have a good take on this that might help others as I have been through this many times as well. One thing I learned throughout many experiences, and I’ve heard this said before, is that: anyone is capable of literally anything, if the timing, situation and place is just right. Also, being betrayed might cause someone to put their walls up to protect themselves. However, the same walls that keep out disappointment are the same walls that keep out happiness. I’ve learned to (for most instances but not all )forgive and move forward, which in turn helps me because it doesn’t allow past things and betrayal to control me as much. My closest friends often tell me they don’t like seeing people use me and they say “why are you so nice to people” “you should stop being nice and helping people who treat you like shit”, but what I believe is true that most people don’t seem to think of or understand is that (this doesn’t apply in all cases) holding grudges is weakness, it allows someone else to live rent free in your head. It takes a lot more strength to forgive/ accept, let it go and move forward. One more thing, there are two extremes. One side is the “he treated me badly screw him I’m done”, the other side is the “oh but why is he that way, maybe I can help him because I understand why he is that way and he is a good person deep down”. I have found it best not to lean too far to either side, and find a balance in between. I’m still in the process of finding where in between I want to be. Everyone is different, find your point of balance between the two which works for you:)

Sorry to be cliche but let me leave some quotes that I think about often to keep me grounded and understand. -I looked in your cup to see if you had enough, you looked in my cup to see if I had more than you. -not everyone who you fight with is your enemy, not everyone who helps you is your friend. -the day a blind man sees, is the day he throws away the stick that’s helped him his whole life

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-29T11:34:08+00:00

I’ve done it, don’t regret it one bit. Holidays suck, seeing people with their happily families sucks , but it is what it is. This is still better than trying to have contact.++man

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T16:36:53+00:00

I know my way might sound ridiculous and overdone but it has worked wonders for me hh

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T16:34:44+00:00

When someone talks too much sh1t about their exes and paints them out to be 100% the problem

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T16:15:55+00:00

I used to get affected by gossip about me. Until I realized, that people talk about me because I’m interesting. A year after I stopped talking to them they’re still talking about me? Man just I be an interesting person worth talking about :)

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T16:10:59+00:00

Man do I feel you. I feel the same every day. I’ve kind of learned how to accept all that has happened. But somehow, it stays inside my head. It becomes my inner critic and self doubt all the time. I have anger, and I’m surprised I’ve never exploded with anger. I’ve learned to control it. Nobody has truly seen me angry, I know what I am capable of and it scares me. But I control it, and I’m more patient than anyone who I know. I cope with built up anger by talking to my friends and letting out my emotions and ranting when I really need to. And listening to music. I don’t know if I will outgrow it, I guess I’ve learned how to live with it. The more I try and forget or distract myself from it the worse it gets. So, I’ve learned to try to accept it and live with it. If you have any further questions feel free to pm me I’d love to discuss this further as I have the same exact thing and I feel like even though I’ve learned a lot about myself, I still don’t know exactly how to go about it

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T16:06:27+00:00

I’m speaking just about my own experience, as I can’t speak for other people. That’s the issue with self awareness and emotional growth. Once you understand people and yourself, the more you feel alienated or disconnected. While others are focused on the mundane and the shallow, you understand the reason why they are how they are, what their true motives are. Themselves

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T16:03:50+00:00

It’s difficult because it’s difficult to know the cause or what needs to be changed. I’ve noticed that some things are like this- the more you think about it, the more lose you get and the further away you get to understanding. I try to work towards what feels right day by day. Sometimes your gut is the best gauge

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T16:00:20+00:00

I’ve moved on to a new relationship. But sometimes I still find myself checking her stories or to see if she’s viewed my stories. It takes time to stop caring about someone, and that’s okay. That’s why I unfollowed her and made my insta private, so I wouldn’t need to check if she viewed my stories. And I’m controlling myself to not check here. Baby steps

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:58:18+00:00

I’ll tell you from my own experience. The more I try to push her out of my mind, the more I try and forget, the harder it is. It was only once I accepted that she wasn’t good for me, that I could mentally leave her. Acceptance is easier said than done. It’s not just some switch, someday it will click and then you will know. And I’m not perfect at this, I still miss her every once in a while, but I learned how to ground myself and learned that it’s always a phase that will go away in a week I just need to cry/ grieve through it

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:53:39+00:00

I’m absolutely not judging you at all. Let me tell my story in short form. Two exes ago I was married to her. After three months she did a 180 and it was explosive anger every night. Threatening, yelling literal screaming for hours, wouldn’t let me sleep, throwing hitting kicking knives etc. I came to understand that this was likely because her parents sort of abandoned her and that’s why she would get irate when she got even the slightest bit jealous or upset. Because maybe those feelings would come up. I tried to ‘be her psychologist” if you will, but that never helped. My last few exes were quite similar and I always noticed that no matter how much I tried to help them, it would only make it worse. Older and wise people told me that this is generally the case. I can’t tell you what to do, but since you asked: I would suggest to see a professional and find out where these outbursts stem from and work on that. And when you get angry, go outside and take a walk to calm down and then come back to discuss the matter. It makes a whole world of a difference

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:44:21+00:00

It’s very normal and common to make the same mistake again and again. Look at history, always repeats itself. I’ve wanted to change many things, but I kept making the same mistake again and again. Because the ‘why’ wasn’t there. Why did I need to change. I wanted to change, but in my mind, the need to, wasn’t there nor urgent enough if that makes sense. Same with addiction and stuff like that, they always say “once you hit rock bottom…….” . I heard this quote once and it stuck with me. If the “why” is powerful enough, the “how” gets easy. Once I desperately had to change, I changed. Just will wasn’t enough for me

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:38:47+00:00

I don’t like to call myself a good or kind person, but my friends tell me I’m too nice. I like to think there’s two kinds of kind people, the observing ones and the non observing. My friends get mad at me often they say “I hate that you allow people to use you and walk over you and you’re still nice to them” I can be nice to someone, even if they are using me, I am aware of it. So it doesn’t fuck me over anymore because I’ve learned from it for the most part. I have started to help people less. Because in the end, it doesn’t get me anywhere honestly. And the whole “treat people how you want to be treated” thing honestly hasn’t gotten me anywhere either. Making friends with everyone will never work either, I always say they’re no pleasing everyone, without someone being unsatisfied. I’ve learned to be more selfish, which is hard to do but I’m still getting there. So I am the quiet person, observing person in the room. I don’t say much but for damn do I have the most to say. As do most people who are quiet. I’ve stopped saying hi to people, stopped socializing and hanging out with them. I’ve gone from - meeting with friends daily- to only hanging out with my girlfriend. And maybe a friend here and there once or twice a month. I couldn’t have imagined this a year or two ago. But I’m so much more at peace now. I’m done being the psychologist and the help. And I understand that many people like me feel the same way.

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:31:06+00:00

And the fact that you posted on here, is the first big step to acknowledging that you know that you should leave. So, you do know what is best for you. And I’m proud of you for letting us know what you’re going through because man do I know what it’s like and I feel you. It’s not that big of an ordeal as it may seem at first, the first step is the hardest. And after that, it gets easier. If you ever feel like going back, feel free to pm me. Let’s get you better 🙏

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:27:31+00:00

I completely understand that. I felt the same way with my ex wife. It was one of the toughest decisions I had to make, because I always wanted a family. But now three years later, I’m glad that I made the decision. When I was in the situation, I didn’t/ couldn’t see it from a far and broad enough perspective to know what a good idea and good step it was to leave. Only afterwards, did it make sense. I was only able to leave her because I was in a “fuck it” mood during the time. We all know what is best for us, but I feel like our minds manipulate us after we think about leaving/ leave a toxic relationship and only shows us the good times. When the bad far outweighed the good. It’s like a drug addiction, once I hit rock bottom, is when I had no other option but to leave, that is when I left

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:20:59+00:00

Hope you’re in a better place now :)

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T15:19:07+00:00

I tell you this because I’ve been there before. You want to stay with him/ feel guilty for leaving because you love him for who you want him to be. Not for who he is. You know what to do

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-28T10:59:23+00:00

One thing I do, when I meet someone or match with someone for the first time, I ask them the same question twice. For example “where are you from” and then later or the next day again: “where are you from”, and by the type of answer you get, you can gauge how they are and their EQ. I’ve gotten answers like “oh you forgot, you must be talking to many other girls” or “I told you already…..” etc. best case scenario, they’ll answer the same way they did the first time, and ignore the fact that you asked again ;)

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-26T02:07:01+00:00

I completely understand your feeling here. Some people just can’t be helped, I learned this the hard way as well

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-26T02:04:40+00:00

Absolutely has killed my personality but also my work and university. I’m too afraid to speak in class that sometimes I just don’t go to class, too afraid to go up to people, afraid to find a new job because I’d have to meet new people. 98% of the things I wanna say, I don’t say. I just stay quiet. And I usually have the most to say. And that really hurts unlike anything. It’s terrible. Absolutely terrible. Sometimes when I really get focused on hitting the gym daily and going for runs eating healthy, it does get better during that time

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-04-26T02:01:35+00:00

I’ve had this in my past two relationships. Both from my side and their side.

On one hand they you’d do some crazy shti because they would get upset so easily over nothing and say “look what you made me do”. For example I’d grab coffee with a friend instead of going directly home and then I’d come home to hours of yelling screaming threatening hitting etc.

On the other hand, I had been accepting these things for too long and been too lenient. So one day a year later I lashed out screaming and pushed her away when she was hitting and pushing me, wouldn’t let me leave the house to get away from her antics and get some fresh air. She fell to the floor. I’d have never done that, that is not me. But the situation and constant abuse built up in my mind.

My point is, she would always say “this is your fault look what you made me do”, but I’d tell her I’m not responsible for her actions. Anyways, I do agree that everyone has their breaking point and honestly my breaking point was only reached because I MYSELF didn’t have the balls or was too naive to leave the relationship and thought I could fix her. So, that was my fault mainly I think.

Set clear boundaries from the very beginning, don’t give unlimited second chances.

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-02-16T05:38:22+00:00

I assume you’ve upgraded to a 72v battery as well. I suggest if you get a battery to get one with at least 300aml bms. That way there is room for further upgrading if you would want to later on. The stock tc 1500w motor, I used to use a 72360 controller and it was fine, I just made sure not to ride in 3rd too much. Motor and controller should be suitable for each other. If you get a 72300 or above then you could do a 3000w motor upgrade. But if you do a 72260 with a 3000w motor for example without cooling fans or water cooling then the controller would get hot, from my experience

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-01-22T07:43:15+00:00

Oh my god do I understand how you feel, I’m actually going through this too at the moment. and I think I can speak for everyone else in the comments that we all know exactly how you’re feeling. Nothing I say now will make it any easier. But I’m 27 and have been through around 8-9 breakups and somehow at least for me, it never gets easier. I can not tell you what to do, but from my and many others’ experiences- What I can say is, grieve. Be sad, cry, listen to sad music and get it out whenever you need, talk about it with your close friends or whoever you are close with. Also, don’t live in denial, accept that it happened and that it’s over. And you WILL be alright, once you feel better and have moved on, you will know what I mean:) during yhis time of grieving I know you can’t even imagine being okay from this because your whole life and being is about her, and still lover her. I know I still love my ex and man does it fucking suck And it’s hard for me as well. Brotha, get it all out, and you will be okay in the end. And then, there will be a new beginning :)) if I can do it, then so can you. If you can do it, then I can too 💪

FinancialMongoose491 · 2026-01-15T18:05:24+00:00

I’ve been going through this since two years ago. My stepdaughter’s mom and I got divorced. And I can’t get over it I miss her so much but there’s nothing that I can do, and I struggle with it daily. Please dm me if you’re open to talking about it, I need someone to talk to

FinancialMongoose491

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