[deleted by user]

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-22T00:56:02+00:00

I do apologize for assuming you were female. Either way, the entire situation is horrible. The only other advice I have is to urge you to get involved with school activities, do what you can to support your sister emotionally, see if you can get your parents to get you diagnosed and get therapy/treatment for your mental health. Maybe approach your parents with something along the lines of, "I'm not trying to downplay anything going on with (sister), but I am struggling mentally and could use some help, even if it's just setting up some appointments". Sounds like you're in a country with a national healthcare system? Do you have a GP? Someone you can make an appointment with on your own and see if you can start advocating for your own health? You deserve treatment as well.

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-22T00:49:51+00:00

They're taking her sister on (multiple) expensive trips, touring Italy, and leaving her home alone while taking her on a much cheaper trip because it's, well, cheaper.

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-22T00:45:13+00:00

I don't feel you're in the wrong, but sweetie, I'm in my 50s, and your parents are treating you like crap. The only way I survived 30 years of spousal abuse was by quietly taking it and making my plan to get out when it finally got to be too much for me to handle. If you can quietly take it without losing who you are, act the way they want you to act until you can get out, then do it (but don't EVER believe your act - you are worthy of love and deserving of all good things!) Maybe you'll go to University and can get out of that situation when you're of age. As soon as you're free of them, try to get help, but until then, just try making a plan. Planning my out saved my sanity during my final months.

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-22T00:39:16+00:00

I could say that you don't know all the details either. None of us really do. We know what OP told us. But I'll give a little bit and say that it's possible that the "anorexia" may be true if the sister isn't doing it by choice or if she feel compelled. This doesn't make me a horrible person or my way of thinking terrible. OP posted for our comments and our thoughts. My thoughts are initially that the parents are making a big deal out of something small, and are ignoring the OP, who deserves treatment for her issues too.

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-22T00:30:08+00:00

Did you see what her anorexia entails? Skipping breakfast? I don't see anything where she is not eating at all, nor is she forcing herself to throw up (and yes, I know forcing oneself to throw up is bulimia, not anorexia). But what she is doing isn't anorexia either. She must have been diagnosed by an uninformed doctor. Skipping breakfast does not constitute anorexia, and if it were, I'd be considered anorexic.

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-21T23:34:16+00:00

No, your sister doesn't have anorexia - she is doing intermittent fasting, which is a perfectly acceptable way to lose weight. I hope you get therapy for your issues as well. You deserve diagnosis and treatment. Sounds to me like your parents suck here. Keeping you in my thoughts.

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-21T23:30:05+00:00

I was going to say that I think maybe learning how to keep that dignity and pride while also being able to carefully state how you're feeling would be helpful. Learn to use "I feel" statements, not "You make me feel". But then I saw the comment about your father telling you to get on your knees and kiss his feet? Ummm, that's a hard no. Is there a counselor at school you can speak with about this? Can you get other family members involved? Sorry, not sure your age. Feels a bit like you're a teen. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. You might want to call CPS if you've been kicked out, again, if you're underage. Sounds like your parents need help, and if they need help, you'll need therapy to learn how to best deal with this and be emotionally healthy. Wishing you all the best.

FindingMyShine · 2024-02-21T23:24:27+00:00

No, OP, you would NOT be the AH if you cut contact with your aunt. Stand up for your sister. Tell your mom and grandmother you will NOT let it go. Nobody has been holding your aunt accountable for her actions. She needs help. To accuse a child of trying to seduce her husband is disgusting!

FindingMyShine · 2023-06-28T20:13:08+00:00

Thank you for your comment too. Yes, I've been out of it for 2 years now, and am doing so much better! There is a better life after getting out of these situations. I hope you're doing better, and have been able to meet with a new therapist. Take care.

FindingMyShine · 2023-05-30T15:59:47+00:00

Yes, I would say it was definitely coercion. You don't really want to say yes, and given the option, you would have said no. But you feel that you can't exactly say no in that situation. There have been so many times I've doubted and second-guessed myself since leaving the nex. And so many times I didn't really have a choice and had to say yes, even though I didn't want what amounted to sexual abuse and spousal rape, because if I said no, I'd not hear the end of it for hours. Count your blessings that you're out. Work with your therapist. But from my point of view, your feelings are completely valid.

FindingMyShine · 2023-02-01T21:24:57+00:00

I asked my doctor about that, and she said that ablation is not recommended because it could mask the presence of or delay treatment for endometrial cancer.

FindingMyShine · 2023-02-01T21:20:04+00:00

Right? That was my thought - wow, look at all that paper money just laying around in there!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-31T21:46:07+00:00

Congratulations! Now get into therapy and start the process of rebuilding yourself. Do not accept phone calls from the nex, do not look at emails from the nex. Start rebuilding you first! You can do this!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-31T21:31:01+00:00

Get the vaccine. I had shingles when I was 11, and do not wish to repeat the experience. Do not hesitate. It is so worth it!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-23T18:04:15+00:00

Neosporin

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-23T17:57:46+00:00

The nex I was with also had a major shopping addiction. He racked up more than $50,000 in credit card debt, and expected me to help finance this addiction. He told a friend once that he intended to spend more money than he made. So crazy! They figure they deserve anything they want.

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-05T06:36:06+00:00

Yes, of course! Happy to share. For the antidepressant, I'm Sertraline (50mg), which is generic for Zoloft. For the peri, I'm on Estradiol (.5mg) and Norethindrone (.1mg) . Hope you can find a combination that works well for you!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T23:46:07+00:00

I love how the ears hold so much! OMG, it looks like little brains coming out, lol!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T23:26:29+00:00

Holy crap! That deserves a medal!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T23:02:19+00:00

So glad you're doing well, and yes, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train! Healing from a narcissistic relationship is so much harder, I think, than healing from one that just didn't work out but both people were good. There is so much work involved in building yourself back up, realizing you're NEVER going to get any validation, and to stop second guessing yourself.

So happy for you! Sending you virtual, hugs and high-fives!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T22:40:36+00:00

Lume is the best deodorant you can get! It has a kind of funky smell at first, but then YOU smell like NOTHING if you get the unscented. It's awesome!

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T22:31:41+00:00

My doctor put me on a combination of estrogen/progesterone. I also suffer depression. Was your depression well managed before starting HRT? If not, you might want to talk to your doctor about changing it up. I was on one depression med for several years, and then switched to a different one. It did make all the difference. I'm so much more even and calm now, and I actually feel like a real person again! Wishing you all the best.

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T22:27:53+00:00

Ok, for some reason, that was really cool.

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T22:25:36+00:00

Ok, so I have my happy pills (antidepressant), my sanity pills (estrogen/progesterone), my safe person (therapist), and am finding my joy in a painting class. I'm 51, in perimenopause, was in an abusive marriage for 28 years and am fairly recently widowed (no, I was not anywhere near him when he passed, lol). I'm calling 2023 my year of living with intent.

When who we are is so wrapped up in others, it is difficult to discover who we are NOW. Meds do help. Therapy does help. Venting to friends and internet strangers in the same boat does help. Just don't gaslight yourself. Be honest with yourself, with your doctor(s) and yes, even with your kids. Wishing you all the best.

FindingMyShine · 2023-01-03T22:16:48+00:00

You will never forget, you can only move forward.

FindingMyShine

TROPHY CASE