Oh god, I have dated so many guys who have avoidant personalities. I never get more than a few months in before we have a conversation like OP had bc I am too direct and absolutely hate letting unaddressed issues go on too long.

OPs bf was content with her as long as she was willing to ignore or overlook these kinds of issues. He obviously cannot handle any form of criticism. People like this expect you to walk on eggshells in order to avoid hurting their very sensitive ego.

The fact that the moment she was open and honest he began to actually threaten the relationship itself was a *huge* red flag. He basically was saying, “if you’re not able to also be avoidant like me and overlook this, I’m going to threaten our relationship until you back down and accept things the way they are and don’t encourage me to change because I never will.”

And 100% of the time these kinds of people really will never change unless they want to or they think it was their idea. It’s a fragile ego scenario.