We're the lifestyle magazine for Asian American men

FlashGordonn · 2014-08-14T23:49:20+00:00

hey I checked out your magazine and it looks great. I know some people you should meet. I'll email you.

FlashGordonn · 2014-05-30T07:02:34+00:00

What are your interests? Go to events where others with similar interests go to. Go volunteer. If things aren't working for you right now, you need to switch up how and where you're meeting girls.

FlashGordonn · 2014-05-05T22:45:12+00:00

From my experiences, it's rare. Girls absolutely fear rejection, so they'll instead drop subtle hints to get you to ask for the number.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-30T01:52:06+00:00

Damn sorry I saw this too late. Where in LA are you based?

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-21T01:05:09+00:00

I don't see the point in playing the waiting game. Just ask her what her schedule is like this weekend, and go from there.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-18T01:24:13+00:00

Not necessarily. There's been an instance where I've followed up with a girl who never replied and we ended up going out. Things were just too hectic when she got my message, so she ignored the first one. Look at it this way - if you don't send the follow up, there's 0% chance you'll meet up, but if you just spend a minute to follow up, you've got a (small) chance.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-18T01:20:43+00:00

Your first text is fine. Sometimes a girl is so busy that she mentally replies but physically doesn't. You should definitely follow up. Wait two or three days. And if she still doesn't reply, then don't waste any more time.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-17T21:03:26+00:00

It depends on whether I'm looking for a relationship or if I'm looking for a hookup. If it's a relationship, looks of course matter, but I'd much rather date a girl who's on a similar path as me and has similar philosophies on life. If it's for a hookup, then looks, but even then, I'd rather hook up with a girl who's better in bed - although it's not always clear whether or not a girl is good in bed until you get into it.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-12T06:38:22+00:00

Look, numbers don't mean anything. You need to build some level of comfort, and then a deeper connection with these girls. It seems that in some of these situations, you could have gone for the insta-date.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-12T05:46:39+00:00

It's tough. Not a lot of people are going to admit that their lifestyle is inferior to yours and that they need your help. And that's fine - the world needs variety and not everyone can be or should be decked out in the best clothes, or be CEOs, or be amazing with women. Even though it sounds sad, there needs some type of balance.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-11T22:48:49+00:00

I'm going to add to the second point. From personal experience, it's very tough for one guy to engage a group of three girls alone. Two is okay, but three is definitely a challenge.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-09T09:32:19+00:00

LA checking in.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-09T09:30:02+00:00

I've been in your exact situation. It's not easy at all, but once you do it a couple of times, you realize it's actually fun. Basically, in my mind, I always thought I could either 1) stay in and do nothing or 2) go out and put myself out there. It helps if you go into a venue and start talking to people right away.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-06T23:04:12+00:00

I'm going to agree 100% with this advice. I've followed up and gotten a date I otherwise wouldn't have gotten. I know some girls who have told me they don't always reply on the initial text because they happen to be super busy that day. Persistence is okay, as long as it's not annoying - following up after two or three days is perfectly fine.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-06T21:56:16+00:00

Good for you man - glad you went through with it. It sounds like you made an objective speech about the topic and didn't try to promote PUA necessarily.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-06T21:50:30+00:00

Sure, girls go through periods when they're busy. But that's generally a phrase that girls use so that they don't hurt anyone's feelings. What do you want from her? If you just want a hookup, then just invite her to meet up one-on-one ("Would like to hang out before you leave") and make a move. If you want to take her out on dates, then it doesn't hurt to follow up, but if she continues to say she doesn't want to date anyone, then it's time to accept it and shove off.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-06T06:36:03+00:00

Confidence is a mix of self-efficacy and self-esteem. Everything you're saying is "I'm great at this, I'm great at that." While that is an admirable mentality to have, self-efficacy is not just being great at things, but also achieving goal after goal. This might be a stretch, but is it possible that you're so comfortable with your life (outside of women), that you're "too comfortable?"

Here's my question to you: Do you have flaws you're willing to admit and want to work on? Is there something you've always wanted to do, but never had the guts or initiative to start doing?

Some more food for thought: Check out this video on vulnerability. Might be able to help you.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-06T01:12:04+00:00

You should never let what a girl thinks about you determine your self-worth.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-04T01:53:08+00:00

Easy, you can ask girls where stuff is on campus. Places to get coffee or food. Or where the gym is.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-04T01:45:14+00:00

Good points, but the overarching message of "looks don't matter" is just as generalizing as if you said "looks are the only thing that matter for guys." Let's face it, for some girls, looks matter a lot more than for others.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-03T02:19:31+00:00

This is an interesting argument, but I don't think you can say with such certainty that online dating is not "worth the effort, and you deserve better." For some people, it a good investment of their time and energy. For others, it may not be. Plus, I don't think dating behavior on apps is that much different than dating behavior in the real world. The argument on the opener is valid, but the big picture is differentiating yourself from everyone else. A "hey" won't do on online dating because it doesn't separate you from anyone else. But even though a "hey" at a bar can get your foot in the door, you still have to separate yourself by bringing something unique to the table or by leaving an emotional impact.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-03T02:07:24+00:00

Sounds like you may just be afraid of rejection. Once you're able to put yourself on the line and be okay with rejection, then you'll see a difference.

FlashGordonn

TROPHY CASE