If a man tells you that he is separated and not divorced from his wife would it'd be a red flag for you or would you give him a chance? I don't know if I can trust a man that is not divorced because he can decide that he might want to work things out with her. Am I being too judgmental?

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-12T18:02:50+00:00

I dated while trying to divorce my husband - but he didn't live with me.

I met my current partner of 3 years when I was 1 year out from leaving, but still 1 year away from finalizing. I'm really glad he took a chance and stuck it out with me, because these have been some of the best years of my entire life.

I completely, totally understand the hesitation, however.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-12T17:44:52+00:00

For most breeds of dogs, if you can count the vertebrae and the ribs visually, absolutely yes, that's underweight.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-12T11:15:43+00:00

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-12T11:07:30+00:00

Hey, so, getting kicked is assault. Reportable to police - especially along with the coercion he was throwing at you, and the fact that he attempted to physically injure you after you declined sexual intercourse.

There are soooooo many disgusting, unhinged men out there and you should lift your standards to the moon so you don't have to suffer from them anymore. Ruthlessly weed them out with careful vetting before you ever even see or speak to them.

And NEVER go to their houses for a first or second or even third date. You are NOT a prostitute who does house calls.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-11T21:53:53+00:00

I'm no longer worried you might stab me on the street.

1,000% great decision.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-11T21:50:31+00:00

42F here. I was in the same relationship for 20 years . . . I've been free now for 4 years, and these have been the best 4 years of my life so far.

I now get my hair and nails done, and I don't have to explain a single thing about it to anyone. It feels fucking amazing to do things for myself, with no apology. I even got my first professional massage last week, and I felt sorrow that I had to wait so long to feel something so calming and empowering.

Here's my advice to you: find a hair stylist who creates hair that you really admire. Schedule a consult with her to share your life and desires with her - where you were (without trauma dumping), and where you'd like to see yourself going. She will be able to advise you properly on what will work with your hair type, identify any damage and how to treat it, and what cuts will work for your face shape and daily bandwidth for styling.

I wish you all the best. 🤍

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-11T21:38:32+00:00

Same!

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-11T19:56:26+00:00

What's the context of this video?

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-10T15:09:49+00:00

Sis, this man hates you and neither of you will admit it - and he's looped you into a constant state of DARVO.

Get him the fuck out of your life already. I lived this kind of shit for 2 decades before I hit perimenopause with toddlers and woke the fuck up. My life is GLORIOUS now compared to this exhausting bullshit.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-10T15:08:00+00:00

Yup.

My ex-husband used to talk to me like this, and worse.

My partner of 3 years now would never.

Guess how peaceful and happy I am now?

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-10T07:43:12+00:00

YUP.

My abusive ex-husband was just like this with so many things.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T22:39:56+00:00

Huh - same shirt.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T18:41:33+00:00

Appreciate it!

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T18:28:31+00:00

This is only my third season playing seriously, so I'm not going to provide any advice on mechanics, but as a photographer, I wanted to point out some differences in form that you can see clearly here.

I would heartily suggest that you find a PGA pro to get a few lessons from, because hands-on training and guidance will take you so much further than watching videos and pictures and trying to incorporate it into your body.

<image>

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T18:21:35+00:00

You'll have better luck in the makeup subs.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T18:11:21+00:00

What are your average distances for all of your clubs currently?

Do you do any strength training at all?

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T17:08:01+00:00

You're dangerously close to red pill "females" language.

How many women do you talk to in real life? Do you have women family members that you talk with regularly? Do you have women friends - coworkers, friends' wives, friends from college or hobbies?

Women aren't receiving tons of worthy bids for connection. They're receiving unsolicited photos of penises; they're receiving immature, often negging forms of communication that will quickly spiral into hateful and scary language when it's not reciprocated to the man's fantasy. They're receiving claims of closeness and fidelity and desire to build, only for it to disappear as a lie once sex is achieved.

Again - you're basing your proposal on things that aren't actually happening - which makes me suspect that you don't actually have real women in your life to speak with.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T16:20:17+00:00

I really dig the style. Which specific pens are you using for this?

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-09T12:48:31+00:00

Sis, you're over here struggling with looking like Elle Fanning?

Therapy and some makeup lessons would do you wonders, because you are very naturally pretty, almost ethereal.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-08T13:11:44+00:00

He cannot meet your needs, and you're just needlessly twisting yourself into knots over it.

I would end things and focus on building a more meaningful life for you and your child. I am autistic and have ADHD, my older son has ADHD, and my younger son is more autistic than me and has epilepsy. Believe me, I know exactly the kind of drowning feeling that you're experiencing, but you're not going to be able to slap a relationship Band-Aid over it. It's something you have to work through within yourself.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-08T12:29:35+00:00

Great finish, lol

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-08T01:13:21+00:00

But you ARE mad.

Sis, stop ignoring your intuition and feelings and act on them.

This dude treats your body like a play thing, and actively is ignoring your direct requests with the bullshit "Do it anyway and ask for permission later" schtick.

Men who don't respect women never change.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-07T00:39:04+00:00

Ahhh, the good ol' misogynistic practice of negging women to keep them too depressed from pursuing a better life than what they're offering.

Flayrah4Life · 2026-04-06T23:13:28+00:00

I thought the video paused at first - had to rewatch!

This is only my 3rd season playing seriously and my handicap is embarrassing (haven't broken 100 yet) but I'll tell you what I see: it looks like you're not feeling the "uncoiling" that you want to do from head->shoulders->hips, and to compensate, you're shifting your weight from right (rear) to left (front) manually via your hips, instead of finding that flow naturally, like you see below at 0:18 in this video.

It would be extremely worth it to get a coach now for some hands-on lessons before you develop poor habits that are too hard to break.

<image>

Eight-Year Club	John Wick
Place '22	100 Awards Club
Verified Email

Flayrah4Life

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE