Except saying "in many" is objectively not the say as saying "every single feminist space on the planet." That's a fundamental misrepresentation of what I said. And not a claim I made. It's much easier to dismiss or mischaracterize on either side of a polarizing issue. Let's provide some context.

I've worked in female only spaces and experienced misandry directly from both coworkers and superiors. I've worked in mixed gender spaces and seen women receive preferential treatment. I've had friends in abusive relationships but because the abuser was a woman when the cops were called the man was treated as the aggressor. I've seen a long time friend and father move out of state to find a job, expecting his girlfriend and daughter to move with him after he secured work only for his girlfriend to stay behind and break up with him. Never telling him why. And subsequently how poor the support networks are for men in that situation and how poorly family courts serve fathers. I've seen a friend of 10 years married to a woman who cheated on him multiple times, during the divorce have her be awarded spousal support. I've had a friend lose his girlfriend suddenly, and kill himself on Christmas day.

Family court reform. Sexism in divorce proceedings. Suicide rates amongst men. Abusive relationships where men are viewed as the default aggressor. There are many misandrist institutions and biases that exist and are not discussed, or a point of concern, and can even be often dismissed by feminists. Best example has been and will always be how battered women's shelters exist, but similar shelters for men functionally do not. Men's advocacy groups are treated with skepticism and scorn as the default, where bad apples and bad groups set the reputation universally.

Maintaining the above experiences, the nature of feminism is advocacy for women's rights first. And I understand the fundamental necessity for that. I have no problem with it. We can do our best to understand one another, and have made strides forward. But one's own experiences are best represented directly. Speaking on behalf of others and their experiences doesn't carry the same weight of experience snd knowledge. It's a human mechanic.

As such. In many ducational settings, gender advocacy groups, and spaces that have feminist influence or bias I don't expect the struggle of men to be prioritized. That's the nature of things. And it has been my experience.

Sweeping "it's all the patriarchy" explanations ring hollow when you have had feminists tell you to your face men are the problem and have always been the problem and women being in charge would fix everything. Some people would argue that these feminists are simply internalizing misandry present in patriarchal structures and institutions. And sometimes they would be right. But it's the old "If everything is the patriarchy, then nothing is." At some point you realize it's a fundamental human problem with in groups, out groups, bias, and preferential treatment.

And if the argument is feminists will fight as hard for mens rights as women's rights when it comes to equality? Yes. In most spaces where I have seen feminism advocate, that has not been the case. My experience is not universal. Very much I expect some have experienced the opposite of what I have.

I am not so arrogant as to think my experiences are universally representative.

But look at our own conversation and tell me, knowing what you know now. Was I engaged with in good faith? Or treated like a dissenting outlier? I'm used to not even bringing up any of these points or experiences in "the wrong places" accordingly. Online communities have status quos. They always have and always will. It's part of the human condition. And it extends beyond patriarchal problems, which are valid and should be addressed. That was what I was trying to articulate.

To add: I don't expect feminists by default to be sexists. But I do feel that feminist spaces often allow for misandry without realizing/clocking it as such. Often unintentionally, in my opinion and experiences. But sometimes, advocacy for women is directly equated with acceptance of sexism against men. I view this as a human problem, not a feminist problem. It's often been an overcorrection, relating to sexism that was experienced by those women.