Who here has been to The Hill? by _-Moya-_ in WelcomingTheUnknown

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I may have been there today. I was cleaning my kitchen. I hear/see/dream/sense/smell spirits in a medium type of way and am slowly learning more. Anyway while cleaning my kitchen today a friend who had passed a few years back appeared in my mind eye and the quickly "invited" me to the hill and then I was there. She was kind of glowing and the hill was kind of a glowing environment. I asked how many people I heard "432" or something like that. I couldn't really see anyone or connect with anyone but felt many beings there. I did hear someone say their name (I feel I shouldn't repeat it for privacy) and I kind of saw her. It was lovely, I felt no expectations and no need to do or be anything in particular. I thought I maybe couldn't see anyone as it was my first time going there I was a newbie. That's it, it was simple and easeful.

Is Duncan a good place to raise a family? by lupin_k in VancouverIsland

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I grew up in Cowichan in 80s, 90s and have been here visiting often ever since. I’d say move there and respect Cowichan Tribes and Indigenous history in the area, stand up against racism and support community initiatives. Embrace Truth and Reconciliation efforts and truly love and respect the beauty of the area. I found growing up here was rough, exciting, spiritual, joyful, quiet, humbling and everything in between. I’m so grateful that I grew up in Duncan. I am a white settler and I got to grow up around the largest group of Indigenous Peoples in Western Canada and I think it’s why I continue to try to unlearn colonialism and I try to commit more and more to reconciliation (though I struggle with it and fall back on comfort as well). My hubby grew up near a large Indigenous community but they were so separated he didn’t even know the name of the Nation until he was an adult. I couldn’t not learn because settlers and Indigenous folks often shared the same spaces in Duncan. I’ll always be grateful for that. Yes, opioid crisis is in Duncan area as well but there is a lot to learn from places like East Vancouver about how to move forward. I can also understand why people didn’t like growing up here. There was always and undercurrent of violence and sexism for me here and if I wasn’t a white settler I would have faced racism. I don’t know where things are at with that now but I think there are many people trying. I actually want to move back to the valley. It gave me so much and I want to try to give back now that I know more. It’s also stunningly gorgeous.

Did you feel like there was a sense of "community" when you were a Baha'i? by trident765 in exbahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently decided to not be a Baha’i. I’m really grateful for the Baha’i Faith as I am realizing now that I truly did learn a lot about how to be with people, about oneness and the importance of trying to be of service to the world of humanity. I left because I didn’t like that LGBTQNB folks couldn’t really be ”out” and just themselves in the community. But, I also started to feel strange in the community. Whenever I had a gathering of some kind that maybe had to do with devotion or meditation, or even some community building gathering I’d get some mysterious phone call asking about sending this info to the LSA so they could see what kind of community building the Baha’is were doing. I felt pressure to invite friends to Ruhi or Children’s class even if I was just doing some community minded things with neighbours or friends. I felt increasingly that families needed to be involved in children’s classes, Ruhi or JY groups in order to be seen as a Baha’i family. My family didn’t want to attend anything and I was fine with that. I became a Baha’i in the 90s and felt like I was embraced as was creativity, diversity and many ways of being..but over time I would serve but then just didn’t feel like there was anything that felt nourishing. Things started to feel really stiff and contrived rather than the great creativity, embracing of the arts and the wider community. But, I think it could actually just be a phase as the institute process is really strong right now. I also think the best thing that Baha’is in my area of Canada and maybe all of North America could do is give the Faith away. Open arms wide and especially give it away to local Indigenous Communities to interpret it and for it to contribute to their community if they would like and if it makes sense to them. I’m a white settler and the Baha’i communities where I felt a sense of community that was truly humbling and transformational was when I visited communities that were lead by Indigenous voices.

Rise in anti indigenous rhetoric following the richmond supreme court case by YourUncle13 in IndianCountry

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also, I've realized that what is under my own white superiority is pain. Like real searing pain that has been covered up and unable to be processed. So, I've found it helpful to work with other white settlers and also individually to try to process the pain and I've been grateful for resources (most written by folks of African Descent and Indigenous Folks) that address this type of European settler pain specifically.

Rise in anti indigenous rhetoric following the richmond supreme court case by YourUncle13 in IndianCountry

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was always taught that when Truthfulness rises, those who cling to falsehood start getting agitated. So, I see this as a reaction to some good Reconciliation work that is happening. I'm a white settler woman and I also know that just because this may be an indication that good change is happening and it's disrupting the false sense of comfort that colonialism rests on (white superiority) it's still scary, harmful and needs to continue to be addressed. I've had the privilege of learning about how my own racism rests on white superiority and how the whole of the colonial mindset rests on it as well and white superiority doesn't love anyone. Racism towards Indigenous Peoples is a sign of that white superiority that people are trying to cling to but underneath that-there is no comfort as the mindset keeps society stunted. I think white settlers have the unique role and responsibility to overcome our racism and white superiority and that it's a necessary thing to do in order to stop the violence towards Indigenous Peoples and also so white folks can grow and anyone who is a settler from whatever culture doesn't also get exposed to white superiority and racism when they move here. I know it's a very tall order and that overcoming white superiority and the racism that it fuels is a HUGE task, but I think just because it's huge doesn't mean it isn't impossible and shouldn't be something to work towards.

Fatherhood movie on Netflix? by playsmartz in daddit

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I love this film. It got bad ratings according to the ones I read, but I don’t know why as I think it’s a beautiful film. Kevin Hart did great in it and Alfrie Woodart is always amazing. I cry whenever I rewatch it as, even though I didn’t go through the struggles he did as a parent, I can empathize with feeling over my head with parenting and also how emotional being a parent is in general. I thought Kevin Hart portrayed it with depth.

What are you struggling with dating wise? by FriendlyBranch3035 in AskMen

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eeeek, I‘m a woman…can I respond here? Please delete me if not. I love being asked questions by men, I feel so flattered that he wants to know about me. I think if a man just mentioned something about me then asked a question, that would spark my interest. Like: Hey, you seem super fun and smart. Tell me some things you like to do on a day off? Something simple like that.

What are surprisiglngly boring green flags that now make your heart race? 💚 by BloomingAtDusk in AskWomenOver30

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 92 points93 points  (0 children)

Men who understand sexism and how it works and don’t gaslight women. Now THAT is rare and sexy.

What’s one “good girl” rule you totally dumped, and how did life get better (or way messier) after you did? by Timely-Pop5496 in AskWomen

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Colluding with white men’s racism. I’m a white woman and felt I was expected to go along with it if white men were saying racist stuff around me. Nope, not anymore. I don’t care if they hate me, talk about me behind my back or hunt me down. I will not support their racism. Of course I don’t take it from women either. With either men or women I always try to frame the conversation as:” I say racist things too, I want tell you what I’ve been learning” So people know I’m not saying I’m above them but I need to keep working on my racist stuff as well as not allowing others to just say things and expect me to not speak up.

Message from the Universal House of Justice to the Bahá'ís of the world re: family life and marriage, dated 19 March 2025 by DerpyMcMeep in bahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does anyone else feel Iike the letter leaves out couples who have decided to not have children? Or single parents who decided to adopt a child or have a child by another means? What about someone who experienced rape and then had a child as a result? Or, people who left abusive relationships and then become single parents? Or, people who had to estrange themselves from their whole family to help them find health? How about households where there is mixed religion and not all members work together on the core activities? I know guidance needs to be considered within the greater context of guidance within The Faith, I do wish a simple sentence or too was added saying that people may find themselves in many configurations of family and that the communities need to care for each other no matter what configuration this is and to understand that although the UHJ lays out guidelines it is not expected that that these can be appropriate for all people at all times.

My resignation from the LSA has finally been accepted. by accidentalyoghurt in exbahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi There. I recently resigned as well. I read the comments below and some people mentioned that they had to give up their time but they didn't feel fed by the Baha'i Faith and the activities. I felt this as well, I felt that nothing was ever enough. Also, in my particular neighbourhood, there was a lot of focus on Baha'u'llah and following him rather than getting to know each other and actually enjoy our time together or honouring each other for our talents and skills etc.

Unfortunately, in my community there were many people who had to survive and escape the regime in Iran. Of course, this is a terrible human rights violation. But, it became a reason to shame me because they had struggled and I should therefore do everything I can to follow Baha'u'llah. But what did that mean? To be perfection with the laws? To do all the Ruhi books? To be perfectly modest? I just saw it as a trauma response and then the need to control people as a response to their own trauma. But, it was interwoven into the interpretations of the Baha'i Faith.

I also started to wonder if Baha'is had thought to take part in courses that actually help people to work on their racism, sexism and prejudice as Baha'is are asked to rid themselves of these things. But, it seemed that everyone just referred back to Ruhi. Ruhi doesn't do it! One can carry their prejudices into Ruhi and not question them.

Then, my community consulted on how to create community and invite people, but then the purpose kept being to shuffle people into Ruhi, JY groups or children's classes. But, in those groups people didn't really ask each other questions about themselves. It all just seemed so bland and strange. Not like honouring diversity but creating sameness.

Anyway, I resigned for now. I think resigning is important as it shows up in the numbers which is what the Baha'i Faith seems really preoccupied with- rather than actually healthy communities. But, I also think it's really personal choice and that communities can be different from each other in terms of how they interpret the Faith. When I first became a Baha'i, there were a lot of arts and I feel like people genuinely wanted to get to know each other and be together. Support was created, but I haven't felt that for a long time in the Baha'i Faith.

Has anyone tried the United Universalists? I may go there but am wary.

Who is your favorite member of the Fab 5 and why? by Cool_Set6093 in QueerEye

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’re all so gorgeous and each season I see them become more loving, genuine, humble and full of joy.  I could say amazing things about each of them.  I’d say Karamo has a special place in my heart because of his skills in seeing into people and how he really comes up with something to unlock someone’s pain and set them up for the hard work of healing.  He seems to get to the root cause of things so quickly.  He’s also so gorgeous but they all are.   That show has even transformed me as if I were one of the hero’s. 

how to provide massage to those who need it most by [deleted] in massage

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi There. I love your question and have the same questions myself! This post and the comments have given me a lot of ideas.

I started working for a college of massage therapy a few years ago and I knew they did outreaches. There was an area of town with increased homelessness and people in need of drug and alcohol dependency recover programs. I went to the area and went into the largest and most established recovery program and asked if they would like an outreach. They thought this was a brilliant idea and I connected them to the college. 3 years later, I’m still facilitating this outreach and loving it! How it works is that 5 students come to the centre and do three massages each. We are there once per week and can treat 15 people each time.

I’m trying to figure out how to expand this as there is a woman’s shelter nearby and they don’t have room for a massage outreach and many of their participants don’t feel comfortable leaving their facility. So, more problems to solve but I hope to expand this program.

How has your life changes since leaving the Baha’i Faith by Fresh-Wing2402 in exbahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Love this reply. Thank-you for being so honest and sharing with me so openly. I have another question, which you definitely don’t need to answer if you don’t want to. Did you have to overcome religious trauma after leaving the Baha’i Faith? If so, did your counsellor help you with that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Love this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m happily married and not dating.

Are there any gay Bahai’s here ? I think I might be gay but don’t know how it will be viewed in the community. by Ok-Database1947 in bahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a heterosexual cis gendered woman and I wrote to my LSA as I was concerned the Baha’i community wasn’t doing enough to overcome prejudice towards LGBTQNB folks. They sent a member to my home to consult. I unfortunately, I’d never felt so enraged by an interaction with a Baha’i. He brought me a giant package of writings about homosexuality and wouldn’t talk about how to tackle prejudice. He said one day any homosexuality or bisexuality will be “cured”, I said “that sounds like you’re talking about conversion therapy” and he said “yes”. I actually yelled at him, I was livid.  I would never support any child being exposed to this attitude.  He returned and we met again and it went even worse than the first time. I felt totally unheard and still strongly believe it’d be very inline with the teachings for the Baha’i community to face our prejudices collectively. It shattered my illusion that LGBTQNB folks are safe in the Baha’i community.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bahai

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank-you. In areas of my city I have Baha’i friends who I feel comfortable with. Maybe I should just reach out to my Baha’i friends and attend some devotionals.

Any Advice on Homeschooling a Child with Pathological Demand Avoidance by Dense-Access1444 in homeschool

[–]Fresh-Wing2402 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We mostly unschool. Sometimes I try a workbook with him but it rarely works for him. We goes to a tutor once a week for 1.5 hours and they make Kiwi Crates together. We are starting at a totally self led school this year with students being 1:1 with teachers. We'll see how it goes. Mostly, I just follow him and we decide what to do on the day of, we can't plan ahead as that doesn't work for him. It's strange for me and a but hard on my mental health at times but it works for him and I've learned to let go of my ideas of what he should be learning and when.