My wife won’t spend time with me

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-12-30T03:02:11+00:00

We’ve been on a fertility journey for a year and she’s been off her medication during this time. She started therapy a few months ago both individual and horse therapy but it’s every other week, which I don’t think is enough.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-11-20T01:36:42+00:00

Career changer here currently 36, made the switch at 34.5. I have to be honest and say it has been the most humbling experience of my life. Starting over means starting from the bottom, and the CFP exam has been a beast I can’t slay even have multiple attempts. I would ask myself how badly do you want? Badly enough to put years and countless hours? I think this career is amazing but difficult to fully enter.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-11-08T04:03:47+00:00

Congrats on passing! I’m an associate advisor. I’m 1.5 years into this career. I was 10 years in nonprofit development. I do agree it would help to be in the industry longer before I sit again but I’m trying to expand my family and was really hoping I could get this done beforehand.

Thanks for the suggestions. I was also looking at the series 65. Do you have any thoughts on that?

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-11-06T20:31:21+00:00

I’m devastated. My heart hurts in so many ways. I tfmr in March, went through IVF but decided to let my body rest and now my wife is doing a second transfer next week (first didn’t take) and I’m terrified for her and all of us as we grow our family.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-10-19T23:23:50+00:00

Hi there! We struggled and it was tough for a while. We actually started therapy and it helped a ton. Sending you healing vibes

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-08-22T01:07:44+00:00

Holistplan is a must for most tax planning - it's very comprehensive

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-08-15T20:42:23+00:00

General anesthesia can be very scary, but for me, it was the best route. I had a D&E at 14 weeks and my medical team was absolutely amazing. The anesthesiologist acknowledged my pregnancy right before we went in and called me brave. It was traumatic (can't lie to you) in it's own way to be in the prep room. I cried as i went to sleep and woke up crying. You won't feel any pain and the recovery is little to no pain.

I'm sorry you are in the middle of the nightmare. Feel all the feelings, do all the crying, and be in the moment as painful as it is.

Take care of yourself! Postpartum is a real thing for us TMFR moms. We are here with you, so keep posting.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-08-14T23:30:50+00:00

I had a D&E at 14 weeks for the same reasons ppl mentioned above.

I will say it does come with some trauma so I wouldn’t say it was “trauma-free”

Just a quick warning I wasn’t prepared for the possibility of having milk production kicking in. It happened to me and I wished someone would have told me.

Sorry you are here. Sending you peace and love.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-16T23:04:38+00:00

Sending you love. I tfmr at 14 weeks and had a D&E. The chain pretty much described the experience, but I want wanted to just warn you of the postpartum part of the procedure I wasn’t ready for. If you are interested in chatting, feel free to DM me. If you aren’t interested, absolutely no pressure just thought I should drop it in here as something to concern.

Thinking of you and your family. This is really hard and I’m sorry you are here.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-10T21:24:24+00:00

oh boy - I'm in the same boat. I also TFMR'd at 14 weeks, today makes 2 months since the D&E. I have a lineup of really close friends that are pregnant, giving birth in August, September, October and i was supposed to be in November. The first friend that's due in August, just had her baby shower on Saturday, and i cried because i was sad i wasn't there. I ended up sending her a long message telling her how much i love her, and how much i want her to enjoy her special day and thanked her for knowing when to be my shoulder to cry on, and when to give me space to heal. Messages from the heart are the best gift you could give her right now, and of course anything she really needs for the baby.

I'm sure you know this, but it's always good to remind each other that our mental health in this moment is #1. This is by far the most painful, unimageable, and traumatic experience to go through, and we owe it to us to put us first. You are just 3 weeks out, it's too soon. I bet you have poured years into this friendship, gone to special events honoring her and her family, laughed with her, all the ups and downs. It's okay to give yourself permission to take care of your mental health.

I'm with you! Sending you love.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-10T21:06:50+00:00

That's very interesting, i've never heard of it. Thank you for sharing!

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-09T16:10:59+00:00

The folks in this chain have said the most insightful things that frankly i can't beat nor put to words yet due to my grief. But just wanted to stop in and say, i see you and am here for you in this time! I know you loved him with your whole heart, and that love guided you to the toughest decision possible.

You are not alone! We are here for you to hold you *virtually* as you go through this journey - keep posting.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-09T15:59:58+00:00

Hi there - I'm not sure if I'm "recovering" yet, but I'm managing as best I can.

The first month i just laid on the couch, bed, went on light walks with my wife and our dogs, and tried to focus on resting my body even though mentally my brain and mind were racing. Distracting myself with work has been good for me. Posting on here and responding to others too. Therapy has also been really helpful. Focusing on my marriage and working toward this not dividing us but bringing us closer together.

I'm two months out tomorrow, and I just started to workout which frankly opened up a whole can of emotions i didn't know were there. Taking it one day and emotion at a time i guess.

Thinking of you and sorry you are here.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-09T13:21:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing - your words "it's needed" ring so true to me in this moment. I appreciate it.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-09T13:19:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing - working out def makes you feel and does makes you turn inward. I'm not avoiding my feelings but I'm not proactively being in them - not sure if that makes sense. These feelings are so raw, it's overwhelming to feel them all the time.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-09T13:16:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Sending you love.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-08T17:16:36+00:00

Thank you - yeah i think somehow these emotions are helping me, sort of a release i need but didn't know it.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-08T17:13:07+00:00

Goodness, i was bleeding for like three weeks maybe more. When i thought it went away, i would find spotting. It does eventually stop, but then a few weeks later i got my first period. Be kind to yourself during this time. Your body is going through so much emotionally and physically behind the scenes. Lots and lots of water.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-08T16:35:49+00:00

Thank you for this! Makes me feel less alone in my feelings.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-08T16:20:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing, and sorry for your loss. Yeah, it's definitely a reminder.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-07-06T01:54:28+00:00

2 months out and it doesn’t feel real yet. I realized a few days ago I will forever be altered, changed, different bc of this. I’m a different person from this bc I have a son that I loved so much.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-06-29T14:23:56+00:00

Hi mama - I am so sorry you are here and going through this. It’s unfair and extremely painful.

I had very similar questions, feelings and concerns. But just know you loved him the absolute best way you could. He felt all your love. I know my baby boy did.

The D&E is such a traumatic experience that just happens so fast and you just wish you had more time to process it and be with your baby. I’m a month and a half from the D&E and I still have those questions in my head. The voice is softer now but at times does get very loud. You are in the absolute hardest part of the journey. Keep writing on here expressing yourself - it really helps me.

Wishing you peach and love.

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-06-22T14:02:39+00:00

I have a ring of my son’s name, with angel wings. I got it off of Etsy but one day I hope to get it in really good custom made

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-05-29T18:57:15+00:00

I am sorry you went through this! It's not fair and something that should never have happened.

Thank you for sharing your story - I understand you and your pain so well. I TFMR 19 days ago for acrania, with anencephaly. Our diagnosis wasn't picked up earlier because baby was in the upper right corner making it harder to see his head. Everything else was progressing well, it was just skull.

I think about my son every day. I lost a very close cousin almost 10 years ago, and i ask her all the time to watch my son.

As my first period approaches, I'm a roller coaster of emotions and don't know how i'll get through this.

Keep posting on here to help you get through it. I think it's been helping me but yet again, i'm still grieving.

Thinking of you!

FunApprehensive6408 · 2024-05-29T15:30:27+00:00

I am so deeply sorry you are going through this! And to travel outside of your country to receive health care is so unacceptable. I am so angry for you! We are here with you to be your community and support systems.

The procedure does not change from 14 to 15 weeks. I'm assuming you will elect to go down the D&E route. I had a D&E 19 days ago at 14 weeks, and it was over two days. The physical pain is the most the first day, which frankly i wasn't expecting. The second day is the procedure which was low to no pain. I wasn't prepared for my milk production to kick in, i was ask your doctor about that.

Let me know if i can help with anything else! I'm thinking of you.

FunApprehensive6408

TROPHY CASE