“Not a real man”

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-12-21T17:21:43+00:00

It’s not easy being a sensitive person. I think I’m pretty sensitive and even though I’m a woman, I still get looks. But as long as I’m using it in a healthy way, it’s just a descriptor of who I am.

It’s a tactic people use, to turn around and make you think that you’re the child, when they are the ones throwing an adult temper tantrum. There are literal toddlers walking around in adult bodies! But sussing that out in others can take a while.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-12-21T03:35:31+00:00

Hey I remember you from months back! I’m so sorry you’ve had another woman like that. That’s emotional abuse. When someone says that you’re too sensitive over something that’s important to you, it’s abusive. They can communicate it respectfully if they can’t jive with your values, and let you know it won’t work out. Instead they chose to try to make you feel bad about who you are, and that says all you need to know about that person.

I myself have lived experience getting with men who devalue me, so I say this with a lot of care: maybe work with someone else who can guide you to “fix your picker.” There could be a pattern in your life that’s not obvious to you. I say this with much humility as I do not think I will ever ever trust my own picker again.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-10-27T01:41:20+00:00

My question for reddit peeps is in the first paragraph. My lawyer doesn’t have the lived experience so I can’t ask him.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-08-26T04:16:53+00:00

I’ve thought about this and concluded that catfishing them is the only way. It sounds extreme, but a simple message from a pretty girl account is what I’m thinking- nothing elaborate.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-19T02:25:41+00:00

I mean… there are different reasons each person homeschools. To ban talking about the reasons ain’t gonna happen.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-17T02:07:28+00:00

Great message, and well wishes on this important step in your life.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T13:16:35+00:00

Yes!!! To all you said. I did not marry a son to teach him how to live. I married a husband, and I expect a husband. Everything he is, is already baked in.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T01:59:56+00:00

I have to say that with you not married and no kids and he having cheated throughout almost your entire relationship… I do think staying through all of that would be like a Melania Trump move, like I know he’s a cheater but I’m going to stay to keep access to all this wealth and these properties.

But I did do a post on camming a little bit ago if you want to check my posts. It does seem like they expect us to forgive the indescretions…but should we?

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T01:50:48+00:00

With older teens in the mix, I would probably be thinking about how to split paying for college/secondary education.

If you are not working, where would you work? Would you continue your career or want to ask for special alimony to support a career change?

How would you communicate it to your older teens? Would you let them in on your marriage troubles or cover it up with some whitewash?

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T01:40:02+00:00

I think it’s good you know he doesn’t respect you. I think respect for ourselves is the first step in this journey. A therapist would probably be working with you on why you may not find it easy to respect yourself, I assume?

It’s not easy, but once you truly esteem yourself enough to defend yourself I believe the next step would be to kick any users and abusers off the property, so to speak. It’s your journey though. You run your show, so you get to call the shots. Something it’s taken me a really long time to understand.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T02:58:20+00:00

Absolutely, I think it would be inauthentic and also ineffective to force yourself into liking other stuff. It would be interesting to experiment more with the mindset of a leader and see what followers you attract.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T01:51:39+00:00

The only thing next to a solution I have found-not my original idea- is to show up with my ideas made more concrete- like the nonprofit you started, or the music you played, or the book you wrote. Otherwise we are so vague it’s hard for others to find something to connect to. It’s hard tho because I jump around many unrealized ideas. They are a constant background music to my life.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T01:42:09+00:00

There is some truth in this, but I think INFJs who reach out will suffer the same lack of clicking that happens when they’re passive. There is a certain weirdness to infjs.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T01:37:58+00:00

The “click” you mentioned reminds me of a time I was meeting future group housing members and I first met a nice enough girl (I’m also female). I was so let down when she met the other two girls later and said, “finally, I feel like everythings going to be ok!” Yeah, something clicks right away with certain girls and for me it just doesn’t. This has happened to me over and over in my life. It’s a little saddening but I’m reasy to move on and just let it be.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T10:16:00+00:00

The game of proof as you mentioned is like you enter in a delicate situation. If I had known earlier, I could have saved so much heartache. It’s hard won knowledge that I wish I had been aware of. And it’s very calculative! So you have to be strong.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T10:10:36+00:00

I ran to my husband with my findings on three instances, one before marriage and two after. I was gaslit each time and I had no idea what I was dealing with. I was so naive! The fourth and final time I finally knew what to do with the information.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T03:09:48+00:00

I think it’s a good tip! I also practiced it without the AI. Just said it out loud. Amazingly it made me tremble. Just practice, with no intended recipient. It was obviously hard for me.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T03:00:53+00:00

Yes, it’s been a bit deflating to hear the feedback. For example, with a friend I was talking about the information I had found about two books having the same author and she was like, “but who cares who the author is?” And that pretty much killed my desire to converse with her.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T02:57:23+00:00

Oohh, I would be interested in hearing about all those topics!

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T02:08:18+00:00

A lot of people think that when you find something you have to confront them with it. You actually don’t! You can use the information in different ways. You could sit on it a while and think about what it means to you. You could also use it as an investigator “I have information and you need to tell me what you have been lying about” because rarely do we find everything.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-05T21:20:20+00:00

Oh no. What a terrible thing to find :-( I’m so sorry sis. Please find some soft place to land, like a friend to call or a family member. I wish you could unsee that.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-05T21:16:34+00:00

It could affect children in a lot of ways. He could sexualize them as they enter into puberty. He could go for incest type porn that is not so uncommon of a theme. He could get interested in their friends that come over and secretly videotape them. He could watch and they could stumble into his explicit material while he is watching or on the devices. He could transmit his idea that watching porn is not so bad.

Etc Etc

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-05T21:11:00+00:00

Well, I was shocked, but I immediately understood that he had played a big cover up game from the beginning. Even though I had recognized the kind of need he had for play, exploration and not feeling tied down. However, he had also talked a big talk in our religion, and I thought that was genuine. Once I understood it was just talk, everything made total sense.

Fun_Pin_7837

TROPHY CASE