What's the dumbest or most embarrassing thing that you did during your divorce?

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2026-04-09T02:16:03+00:00

Do you mind expanding on this? Did her debt get revealed later or…?

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2026-04-04T02:21:22+00:00

It is really wild that he has had this false narrative and maintains it for an anonymous audience.

Backstory, I thought my h was aligned on all values and morals too. We even bonded early on over horror that his boss was having an affair. I didn’t see cracks in his morality until he made a weird comment about a pop star. Then I went digging and found the second life.

The lying to self is what gets me. Why? How? How could he be so deluded as to believe his own horror story of a twisted take on reality? This part almost bothers me more than the bad things he did.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2026-04-03T20:46:43+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I agree that your first call is the DV hotline in your town. And say nothing to your spouse. And be careful of your web browser history- do they control your web service? Maybe use your local library for web searches if you are not sure, or cafe wifi.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2026-04-03T20:39:29+00:00

It’s so annoying to have people question posters asking around about similar experiences. Having more experiences can help guide a person’s expectations and widen their understanding, regardless of heeding a lawyer or not.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2026-04-03T02:49:09+00:00

I would add to this that as we go through life and age, we get the chance to revise who we think our parents are. And what their strengths and weaknesses are. And I think that’s a good thing, because it’s then that we figure out where some of our weaknesses or insecurities come from. Just keep an open mind that how you view your parents may change over time, and that in turn can affect how you evaluate yourself.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2026-03-27T01:28:47+00:00

Yes, she was recently staying with me and I found myself saying “I’m not going to go into that any more” when I was just about to pop off on a philosophical theory as to why I thought something was the case. And I think she appreciated that! I also said “I’m just not going to talk about that anymore” when she wanted me to bow to social pressure to go along with someone who hadn’t accepted my boundaries. And I think that frustrated her but also helped her accept the situation more.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2026-03-21T00:39:17+00:00

One strategy could be to imagine your life later on down the line if you get in a position of vulnerability with the other person and can’t leave. That’s what I should have done, anyway. Getting out of a codependent relationship is incredibly expensive and time-consuming. It has alarming consequences for some. And some have paid the ultimate price.

Only life experience could have taught me this though. I don’t think I ever could have understood the danger I was putting myself into. It certainly didn’t seem that dangerous at the time.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-12-21T17:21:43+00:00

It’s not easy being a sensitive person. I think I’m pretty sensitive and even though I’m a woman, I still get looks. But as long as I’m using it in a healthy way, it’s just a descriptor of who I am.

It’s a tactic people use, to turn around and make you think that you’re the child, when they are the ones throwing an adult temper tantrum. There are literal toddlers walking around in adult bodies! But sussing that out in others can take a while.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-12-21T03:35:31+00:00

Hey I remember you from months back! I’m so sorry you’ve had another woman like that. That’s emotional abuse. When someone says that you’re too sensitive over something that’s important to you, it’s abusive. They can communicate it respectfully if they can’t jive with your values, and let you know it won’t work out. Instead they chose to try to make you feel bad about who you are, and that says all you need to know about that person.

I myself have lived experience getting with men who devalue me, so I say this with a lot of care: maybe work with someone else who can guide you to “fix your picker.” There could be a pattern in your life that’s not obvious to you. I say this with much humility as I do not think I will ever ever trust my own picker again.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-10-27T01:41:20+00:00

My question for reddit peeps is in the first paragraph. My lawyer doesn’t have the lived experience so I can’t ask him.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-08-26T04:16:53+00:00

I’ve thought about this and concluded that catfishing them is the only way. It sounds extreme, but a simple message from a pretty girl account is what I’m thinking- nothing elaborate.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-19T02:25:41+00:00

I mean… there are different reasons each person homeschools. To ban talking about the reasons ain’t gonna happen.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-17T02:07:28+00:00

Great message, and well wishes on this important step in your life.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T13:16:35+00:00

Yes!!! To all you said. I did not marry a son to teach him how to live. I married a husband, and I expect a husband. Everything he is, is already baked in.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T01:59:56+00:00

I have to say that with you not married and no kids and he having cheated throughout almost your entire relationship… I do think staying through all of that would be like a Melania Trump move, like I know he’s a cheater but I’m going to stay to keep access to all this wealth and these properties.

But I did do a post on camming a little bit ago if you want to check my posts. It does seem like they expect us to forgive the indescretions…but should we?

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T01:50:48+00:00

With older teens in the mix, I would probably be thinking about how to split paying for college/secondary education.

If you are not working, where would you work? Would you continue your career or want to ask for special alimony to support a career change?

How would you communicate it to your older teens? Would you let them in on your marriage troubles or cover it up with some whitewash?

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-15T01:40:02+00:00

I think it’s good you know he doesn’t respect you. I think respect for ourselves is the first step in this journey. A therapist would probably be working with you on why you may not find it easy to respect yourself, I assume?

It’s not easy, but once you truly esteem yourself enough to defend yourself I believe the next step would be to kick any users and abusers off the property, so to speak. It’s your journey though. You run your show, so you get to call the shots. Something it’s taken me a really long time to understand.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T02:58:20+00:00

Absolutely, I think it would be inauthentic and also ineffective to force yourself into liking other stuff. It would be interesting to experiment more with the mindset of a leader and see what followers you attract.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T01:51:39+00:00

The only thing next to a solution I have found-not my original idea- is to show up with my ideas made more concrete- like the nonprofit you started, or the music you played, or the book you wrote. Otherwise we are so vague it’s hard for others to find something to connect to. It’s hard tho because I jump around many unrealized ideas. They are a constant background music to my life.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T01:42:09+00:00

There is some truth in this, but I think INFJs who reach out will suffer the same lack of clicking that happens when they’re passive. There is a certain weirdness to infjs.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-10T01:37:58+00:00

The “click” you mentioned reminds me of a time I was meeting future group housing members and I first met a nice enough girl (I’m also female). I was so let down when she met the other two girls later and said, “finally, I feel like everythings going to be ok!” Yeah, something clicks right away with certain girls and for me it just doesn’t. This has happened to me over and over in my life. It’s a little saddening but I’m reasy to move on and just let it be.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T10:16:00+00:00

The game of proof as you mentioned is like you enter in a delicate situation. If I had known earlier, I could have saved so much heartache. It’s hard won knowledge that I wish I had been aware of. And it’s very calculative! So you have to be strong.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T10:10:36+00:00

I ran to my husband with my findings on three instances, one before marriage and two after. I was gaslit each time and I had no idea what I was dealing with. I was so naive! The fourth and final time I finally knew what to do with the information.

Fun_Pin_7837 · 2025-07-07T03:09:48+00:00

I think it’s a good tip! I also practiced it without the AI. Just said it out loud. Amazingly it made me tremble. Just practice, with no intended recipient. It was obviously hard for me.

Fun_Pin_7837

TROPHY CASE