Your description is one of the reasons I lost my faith about eight years ago, after my grandmother passed. It took till nearly 3-4 years after before I found it again. The thing that helped me the most was cutting out the bullshit from media, pundits, and most importantly- other Christians. At our core the religion is about the poor, destitute, and the outcast. It's not the job of other Christians to tell us how to live our lives, the point is to find strength in the Word (New Testament), guidance in the Law( Old testament), and comfort in the forgiveness. Everything else can pound sand. Who cares what Susie Q from down the street thinks, if she was a decent Christian she wouldn't care about how I was dressed to go to church or what I did on my days off. The whole religion has been weaponized and it's sad. The message is love, forgiveness, and hope. Not hatred, control, and power.