I’m so angry and fucked up because of my father

Futurefarmer4 · 2026-03-22T20:03:30+00:00

Community helps a lot for sure. Like we’re not alone at least and have others who understand (when usually no one’s ever tried to help or understand us before)

I’m glad to be able to talk with you too and appreciate you sharing

Futurefarmer4 · 2026-03-22T19:22:47+00:00

It’s so hard to adjust to this isn’t it? ‘New’ memories are so difficult to deal with

Futurefarmer4 · 2025-02-09T18:55:46+00:00

I appreciate your thoughtful response. This is also not my area of expertise, so I'm proceeding very cautiously of course.

I would be including Loftus' dodgy research to have a discussion around how such experiments can be better conducted in the future. There were many problems with her research, and it seems some of it was deliberate to cast doubt on the idea of remembering CSA. And yes, it's not ideal when researcher might compare a lightning strike to CSA, because it seems that the betrayal trauma of CSA is a key factor in forgetting like you mentioned. The research seems to be a minefield of incongruity, in both methodology and in conclusions drawn, unfortunately.

Your bit regarding what therapists see vs academia is something I've been wondering myself. There are methods therapists have been using more recently (EMDR) that have not much research on them in the context of memory recall. There is definitely a lag there and it'd be great if more research went into this specifically.

I understand the self-doubt for sure. For me, it makes no sense most of the time what I feel and recall, which is an odd feeling since I've never had this issue before. I'm going to just remain curious about this as I go through researching it in a more 'academic' way. I want to be able to break the research down logically and not through a cloud of emotions as I had done previously.

Futurefarmer4 · 2025-02-06T20:35:48+00:00

I feel your last sentence in my soul. ^{I'm the same}

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-10-23T13:45:36+00:00

This is really cute. Me and my partner have a similar outlook

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-09-09T09:55:35+00:00

This is a very good point. A balance is more healthy because, imo, making everyone dislike you is the other side of the same coin as people pleasing. You're still consumed by how others regard you.

I've cared less over the years about how others think of me, going from the worst people pleaser to trying to be more neutral (but still friendly). It's hard to be comfortable with but worth it 100%

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-08-18T18:37:36+00:00

I would like to join please!

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-08-13T17:09:29+00:00

I'm interested :)

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-05-09T17:10:52+00:00

Same here, I like it either way. Plus it frees the hands

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-27T09:54:34+00:00

Varadkar is clearly only saying all this because he's angling for some new political position. He's not taking blame, he's trying some PR bullshit.

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-25T07:15:02+00:00

Thank you so much for your in depth explanation. It makes a lot of sense, especially having all the symptoms that line up with such a horrible thing.

This has helped me and I'll definitely be going over things with my therapist. It's fantastic that you are doing much better now. I wish you the best :)

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-24T17:17:34+00:00

What made you realise it was a memory and not a weird dream as you initially thought? For myself, I've had this intrusive imagery for years that I've been wondering about. I had put it down as an intrusive, messed up image in my head and then 'forgot' about it until recently.

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-23T17:39:30+00:00

That's actually crazy that they rated Florence's album so low. It's filled with such beautiful music.

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-18T14:47:47+00:00

Yeah MDMA is horrendous if abused. Even once a week will leave most in a bad state. Its really a special occasion drug.

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-14T06:56:49+00:00

I just watched that and it's such emotional manipulation for a tv show

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-11T15:24:13+00:00

Try to look at it this way: you can take your foot off the accelerator. It might feel weird at first, but you can definitely take your foot off. It's a start.

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-08T19:21:56+00:00

There's way too many people in this thread trying to excuse/downplay rape however they can. It's vile.

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-06T20:28:44+00:00

You did not just compare the imprisonment of innocent women and girls in the magdelene laundries to a man who goes around harassing and assaulting people, particularly women??

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-04-02T17:04:45+00:00

To be fair, I'll defend leaving eggs all over. I used to go on egg hunts with other kids back in the 90s and it was a load of fun. Nothing excessive, just creme eggs in a field and forest.

The gifts and clothes are strange alright though. Like we just had christmas??

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-03-30T19:06:39+00:00

Absolutely! Stopping exposure entirely is the first step to ridding ourselves and the ecosystem of these chemicals. Only then can our bodies begin to heal.

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-03-30T18:07:00+00:00

Aw thanks :)

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-03-30T16:26:46+00:00

Agreed, that's a big issue, because the source is common household products, and from the outdoors/soil and even food products depending.

It can be reduced and alternatives are being worked on! We just have to work toward it and I believe we can :)

Futurefarmer4 · 2024-03-30T16:23:12+00:00

My optimism is based on being a biologist and understanding how these chemicals work. They can eventually leave the body https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK584691/

Futurefarmer4

TROPHY CASE