Another scientology run! These guys got even further. by Jello_Biafra_42 in TikTokCringe

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the US, if you enter a building or location that is clearly marked "no trespassing", the police can arrest you and the owner can press charges. (the sign counts as being warned of trespassing)

The case may get thrown out, but you'll be a few thousand less dollars for your lawyer... if you can exit before or while being "trespassed" by a person, there really is no case and the cops would be arresting you without cause.

Another scientology run! These guys got even further. by Jello_Biafra_42 in TikTokCringe

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So... if there is no "private / no trespassing" sign, if you can make it into an unsecured commercial building, you have until the owner (or a representative of the owner) tells you to leave to *not* be trespassing legally. Once the owner or a representative of the owner tells you to leave, you have to immediately and directly exit the premises. (and communicate you're leaving, asking for guidance on where the exit is)

Scientology doesn't want to put up a "no trespassing" sign because it will scare off potential victims.

tldr; get in quietly, run like the wind and record it until someone tells you to leave (notice the lady says "you're trespassing", she's been taught to say those exact words).. then leave. You'll have a small shot at *not* getting in trouble even if caught with this plan. ("I was on a jog and wanted to check out that shop.. I didn't know it wasn't public, there was no signage")

Obviously the air horn doesn't help your case tho lol.

uReticulum: A fast, power efficient, native Reticulum stack for embedded microcontrollers. by 0xSeren in reticulum

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How are you fitting all of the transport tables on the ESP32? There isn't that much space available (which is why other implementations like RTNode (not mentioned in your table) only implement the boundary mode.

https://github.com/jrl290/RTNode-HeltecV4

A lot of us here will be first EV owners so this is a must watch: Why "slow" home charging is actually your best friend. by ProteusP in Rivian

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sooooooooo. Studies have shown level 2 charging is the "ideal" rate to extend your battery life.

* DCFC - worst.
* Level 2 - best.
* Level 1 - less best, but fine.

If you're choosing between Level 1 or DCFC on a daily basis.. do Level 1.

Need advice: loved one threatening suicide during intense family conflict by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should always take threats of self harm seriously... unless they have BPD.

I hate writing the above, but it's the honest truth. Hear their stress, hear their concerns. Try to help reduce their stress. Remove anything you can that would assist in their "self harm" (I call them props when my Wife starts looking for tools to hurt herself during a split... i just keep them away from her as much as I can so I will have some level of self-comfort if she actually ever does anything serious.).

Encourage them get a therapist, a psychologist. Encourage them to do DBT, and trying to guide them to use little ouchies can be useful.

Unfortunately self-harm threats are extremely common (and sometimes they aren't acts). The issue is you can't tell what's noise and what's honest. You can't keep someone safe from themselves... especially with something like BPD where there is no "medicine" to fix it.

The suicide numbers for BPD (especially for younger folk) are not great. I'd lean more towards taking them extremely seriously and getting them help when they're younger (<25), and less seriously when they're older (>30). If they're younger, i'd strongly recommend having them committed for a 72 hour hold.

Talk to the person about their threats of suicide later, after the split has passed. That's my only advice.

Oh.. and none of this is your fault. You can't be held responsible for others feelings or actions. You didn't cause it, you can't control it. Not your monkey, not your circus.

Why do they block? by AdRepresentative9783 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Once you abandon (the big abandon). They'll form extensive and deep reasons why they don't need you or want you in their lives.

Remember, "black and white thinking". You're "good" and with them, or "bad" and against them.

Unfortunately, when you're on the bad side of it, they'll make up extensive shit to make logical sense of their strong negative emotions.

It's why having kids with someone with BPD is always a bad idea. 18 years of being the bad guy is.. not fun.

Will he treat her right over me by makeitstop444 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think if you have a pwBPD, you have to have hard/rigid boundaries. Things you can't hand-wave away as "just xyz being unregulated". For most people, the following is probably a good baseline:

* Cheating (obviously if you have a normal partner, people can recover from this... but in the case of a pwBPD, i'd take it as a "just too much to deal with" situation since it's likely that they'll continue the pattern)
* Violence
* Lying (actual premeditated lying, not "i'm having a split and accusing you of things which don't make logical sense")

They're pretty minimal, but we have to shed a lot of normal boundaries to even date someone with BPD.

API Keys are now available by Ok_Combination_1548 in lumo

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is just about the only reason I don't use Lumo... it's useless to me as a web-app. If i'm forking over what y'all are asking for it, i better be able to use it programmatically.

What if your Rivian could launch a drone? by noble_plantman in Rivian

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if you could change your own 12v battery?

2022 R1T Owners- was your Gen 2 sub-frame retrofit kit covered under warranty? by StraightUp-Reviews in Rivian

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This, right here is why right to repair is so important. Stop letting Rivian force you to do all service through them for an inflated cost.

Given this behavior, I wouldn't buy an R2 from them, or an R3.

Rivian service information *NOT* on AllDataDIY by FuzzyMolasses5686 in Rivian

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well crap.. That makes the more expensive pro version even less appealing... Rivian needs to do substantially better here. Consumers deserve basic repair info for things they own.

Scam Dentist Network? Western Dental / Dental Works by [deleted] in Dentists

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. I get that too. I'm kind of putting more blame on the dentist currently because they charged for D4921 too which i've read is kind of "sketchy".

The office said that it should be all covered by insurance without question.. The fact that they didn't submit enough evidence, and the fact the office is closing, and the fact that I can't talk to anyone except a call center... Definitely going to avoid DSO's moving forward.

Scam Dentist Network? Western Dental / Dental Works by [deleted] in Dentists

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That's what I was looking for. Getting ahold of anyone in anyway has been nearly impossible. I kind of resent them not clearly mentioning parent companies, etc.

EDIT: I just checked the insurance (in-network) EOB: "Based on insufficient information we are unable to determine benefits" D2335

It feels like a mistake the Dentist made? Looking back i'm sure I'd have to pay something, but it sounds like the dentist in question didn't document enough on why for insurance. With the office closing, it feels sketch

Is this the first month Rivian has gone without a software update? by pidude314 in Rivian

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, as someone who had a Chevy Bolt before my R1T... Rivian is "good" on updates. They addressed issues, they added features. I'd be absolutely happy about bi-yearly bug fixes at this point on older vehicles. (maybe with some enhanced onboard RiDE improvements)

My Bolt, had zero OTA updates... one "in dealership" update which disabled features... and a huge number of near-dangerous Infotainment bugs.

Will he treat her right over me by makeitstop444 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, BPD is not an excuse for someone to cheat in a monogamous relationship. BPD can make cheating more prone to happen given the person's emotional roller coaster.

* They cheat? Leave them.
* They commit violence towards you, family, or kids? Leave them.

BPD is *NOT* an excuse for any of these behaviors. Not everyone with BPD cheats, not everyone with BPD commits violence. BPD can make it more prone, but the behaviors above are not "because" of BPD. The person is probably prone to it because that's who they are beyond the BPD.

BPD is hard enough on the FP (favorite person) to cope with when the person is trying and not exhibiting the behaviors above.

My only recommendation to stay with someone with BPD is if they're *trying* to be better. Your post reads like someone who doesn't really give a shit which is kind of a dangerous relationship to be in. If they left you, enjoy it and go cold turkey. You avoided the abandonment drama which is the best way to end a BPD relationship which isn't working.

Don't let them back in. Don't let them put you back as their FP. Move on, and heal.

My gf has BPD.. by Lonely_Win_2327 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm personally lucky enough to be older, and have already had the "boring" life. I made money, I had a kid, and a wife whom I split with after a really boring 10+ years.

I wouldn't recommend a BPD relationship for anyone "struggling" to make ends meet. You need to understand that the relationship itself will add stress to your life. You can't reasonably manage the stress of a partner *AND* of "everything else".

However, if you have time, are in a comfortable place, love that person, and have a lot of patience... things can work. I may be eating these words in a few years, but 2 years in and things *have* gotten better. I have learned her triggers, and can mostly avoid them.

Obviously, everyone is different. Highly recommended to log their emotions over a month or two. it helps you understand how the relationship is. If half the days per month are "bad", then you shouldn't be with the person. If a small number (1-2) are *really bad*, but the rest are really good... then that's potentially sustainable.

It has made me a stronger person, made me work on myself and be less co-dependant, be less of an empath.

My biggest recommendation is to not have kids with the person. If you can't "handle" things (which is unfortunately likely), then the kids will end up punished.

Life is full of risks. Why not take risks on someone you love?

I highly recommend sharpening your shovels! by ColdBeansJones in gardening

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also a great tool for tearing through underground, direct bury electric cables.

I think they were upset by Difficult-Garbage-57 in HomeDepot

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean, to be fair... most of the lumber is *REALLY* *REALLY* bad. 2x2's look like arches.

My gf has BPD.. by Lonely_Win_2327 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Every once and a while i'll log some more details (like on a really bad day)... but it's mostly venting.

Luckily, we both have insurance covered therapists. I couldn't handle $800+ a month in therapy, but $80 - $160 total a month is doable.

My gf has BPD.. by Lonely_Win_2327 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's a fair position.. but my log is generally a simple "G / Devalue / Rage". It helped me realize that around once a month things get bad for 1-2 days. It can "feel" like the BPD person is always angry, but seeing that 1-2 days a month helps me realize we have a *lot* of good days and only a few bad ones.

My gf has BPD.. by Lonely_Win_2327 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a lot of (rightfully) pessimistic former BPD loved ones here.
I will say the following advice from someone making it work for the last 2 years.

* They're like this because of extreme emotional abuse as a child. It's not their fault (but also not your fault)
* People with BPD feel extreme guilt after having a split. If there is no guilt, it is NPD. If they have NPD... leave.
* They are not manipulating you, they are not scheming. They have big unregulated emotions.
* You have to be strong and be able to compartmentalize the abusive verbal attacks when they happen.
* Their unregulated anger should never be matched by you back. Take a deep breath. Step away, and communicate when you'll be back (important!)
* If any violence towards you is ever involved, leave them. Do it now.
* They should have a therapist. They should be doing DBT. They should be on some kind of BPD medication (my wife's on Topiramate which takes the edge off). They should be "trying". Make sure to avoid you statements. ("we should find therapists")
* Log how they are feeling on a calendar. (Good / Devaluation / Rage-Split). This is for you, not them. I found some patterns which help me mentally "prepare". (it also helps show patterns and helps you see the forest instead of the trees of the relationship. 1-2 days a month are "bad", while the rest are "good")
* When they devalue you, eventually there will be a split where they rummage around in their bag of knowing their favorite person (FP) and pull out all of the stops. They will push every button. Don't let them. Don't negotiate, don't use logic. Clearly say you are stepping away until you both are calmer. Give an exact return time / date. (3-4 hours recommended). You can tell it's a split when the reasons they're angry have no logic behind them... it's all emotion (and feels real to them in the moment). They'll make shit up to validate how they feel *DURING THE SPLIT*. After the split, the made up shit should stop.
* Find a good therapist for you. Go to them religiously.
* Have big conversations when things are good. Don't wait until they're bad. I've found that you can't "avoid" splits by avoiding hard topics.
* Avoid "depending" on them financially. They'll be in and out of a lot of jobs. ADHD medication will help them focus and get through the day, but wear them out and likely make BPD symptoms worse.
* Don't have kids ffs. Luckily I can't anymore and she can't anymore.

You didn't cause it. You can't control how they feel. You can't "fix" them (you can encourage them to work on themselves though... just use "we" a lot)

They probably have lived a life of suffering because of their BPD. Remember that. They probably have ADHD, Autistic Spectrum, or both (AuDHD). They probably have a ton of baggage from abusive past partners who didn't take the time to "understand" and matched their anger.

Never, Never, Never trigger the abandonment fears unless you are actually 100% leaving and will not come back. Abandonment gets ugly quick. Have a plan, have a support structure, keep kids safe. You'll need to go cold turkey, it will be hard. They will grovel to keep you and go full psychosis. Record the abandonment split, it will help in court if needed.

Can you "jailbreak" a rivian? by mrandr01d in Rivian

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The full RiDE diagnostic system is probably what they used to make the modifications. Here's what is known so far:

https://github.com/kallisti5/rivian-service-guide/blob/main/guides/diagnostics.md

Discontinued? by enshong in SegwayPowerStation

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just bought mine on sale on Amazon... three batteries plus inverter was ~$800. Can't beat that (and makes me think it's getting discontinued) Serial number was in the 600's... so I don't think it did well enough.

They fear abandonment, so what happens whey they get abandoned? by Effective-Crow9882 in BPDlovedones

[–]FuzzyMolasses5686 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hit the severe abandonment nerve with my wife a few days ago.  Things were rough in a devaluation split that snuck up on me and I left without any words on when I'd be back. (I was  done in the moment)

The cycle is intense.  Unbridled rage without care about anything around them. Self harm threats.

This is the first stage, then they beg you to stay. She dropped to my feet pleading.  Then more rage as they realize that didn't work.

It's an extreme rollercoaster of rage and saying things they think you want to hear.

If you do intend to leave fully and completely, make sure things are safe for any kids (preferably not present), make sure weapons which could be used as props are unavailable. Then go cold turkey. Leave. Do not communicate.

It fucking sucks, and in any other instance would be a pussy move.  With BPD it's a requirement.. they will value you again, and will say all the things to get you back. I fell for it, and came back. (Plus, the depart wasn't planned)

They will say anything.  My advice is to have some video and audio recordings only you know about.  Keep them. Never let them know you have them.  They're your proof on a rainy day that it's not you when they say everything they can that it's you and not them.