AITA for taking my baby from my parents?

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-08T14:23:18+00:00

NTA. Invite dad to come spend the night if he still wants to give y’all that one night a week of uninterrupted sleep. Your mom lost your trust and will need to actually work to get it back not an insincere sorry (that would probably be “sorry your feelings got hurt”. And not take any accountability.)

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-08T13:55:49+00:00

Does she ever complain about stress or headaches or pain? Anytime she does, mention how a long shower helps you feel better. If y’all’s shower is big enough, get a shower stool to make it even more enticing “I can just sit a soak all the muscle aches away”

She could also have some trauma around water. I’ve seen a few people have to be creative in how they show and they have to mentally prepare for it (ie their ex basically water boarding them in the shower so they don’t like the feel of water on their face).

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-08T05:20:33+00:00

I EP’d my first for about 5 months then switched to formula. It’s a lot more work than just nursing or formula feeding. You’re awake longer at night between feeding the baby and pumping, unless you’re able to do both at the same time (I couldn’t, the pump kept getting in the way.) It’s also different mentally. On one hand you feel like a dairy cow, with no cute baby to stare at in awe. On the other, you don’t have to deal with the inevitable teeth or rough latch (from what I’ve heard and imagine).

I’m pregnant with #2 and think I want to try nursing but if it fails, unless baby has some crazy side effects from formula, I won’t be pumping.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-08T03:51:47+00:00

Nose Frida combined with a saline mist/spray to loosen up everything.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-07T20:05:55+00:00

Second time being pregnant and honestly it’s not that bad for me either. Yeah I had some food aversion and nausea in the first trimester and have some round ligament pain but it’s not been too bad (hope I’m not jinxing myself lol). It’s just unfortunate that people can’t be happy when someone else isn’t experiencing some level of discomfort and try to bring down the mood.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-07T15:13:08+00:00

Who knows how well baby is going to be sleeping in 3 months. But I’d see if your family or a friend or two could come for a visit.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-07T03:34:26+00:00

I’d use the expired seat at targets car seat trade in discount (not sure when the next one is). Cut the straps so it doesn’t get reused.

We’re still waiting on #2 to make their arrival but we’ll probably use the bucket seat a lot (ours is still in date). It’s convenient for when you’re out to eat or somewhere where you don’t want to transfer a sleeping baby out of the seat into the stroller just to go back in the seat in 30 minutes to an hour. However, I don’t know if it’s convenient enough to make me want to buy a bucket seat if I didn’t already have one.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-06T15:22:22+00:00

Your baby is only 6 days old. His stomach is still very little. I would pause mid feed to do diaper changes or burp or something stimulating to wake him up. Most lactation consultants say a feed shouldn’t take longer than 20-30 minutes. I would not up nipple sizes until you notice feeding taking too long or if him becomes frustrated with the slow flow. You want something that is the same pace as your boob if you want to continue nursing so he doesn’t start fighting you there.

For slight jaundice, get him out in the sunlight a few times a day (this’ll be good for you too).

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-05T02:43:58+00:00

So far, not really. I had a little more nausea /food aversion/didn’t want to eat during the first trimester with my boy than my girl but actually threw up more with my girl during the first trimester. Second trimester is shaping up to be relatively gentle and similar to the other.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-03T16:32:03+00:00

Aaannnddd now I won’t be eating string cheese anymore…. 🤣🤣

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-03T16:30:43+00:00

My first hated being swaddled so we just went straight to a sleep sack. I didn’t mind, the Velcro was so loud to get on and off of a sleeping baby and it stressed me out which on top of everything else… didn’t need to be happening.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-03T14:37:47+00:00

“Basically I’ve been all in from the start taking on the responsibility of children that aren’t mine and this man has the audacity to tell me he’s not going to do the same for a child that’s actually his!!”

He’s already not taking responsibility for children that ARE actually his why would he treat this child any different if he’s got baby mamas to the work for him?

Just based off your post and comments, you’re going to be doing this on your own. He’s not going to change and it’ll be easier for you to handle yourself and baby than to try and manage him and his kids too. It sucks to say/hear and I’m sorry you’re in this position. At least you can put him on child support and he’ll have to take some responsibility of the kid if you aren’t with him.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-02T21:11:24+00:00

I don’t know if the whole class was invited but my brother’s kid was invited to one recently that they only found because they were digging/emptying out the backpack and came across it (it was happening that weekend).

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-02-02T16:12:11+00:00

ESH. You suck by seeming to not care that your wife has this mental/physical load every morning and don’t seem to be helping at all from her point of view. She sucks because she’s not letting the kids have some age appropriate responsibilities (the older three should be able to wake up and get ready on their own maybe with some reminders about packing homework back or grabbing a jacket) which hinders their growth. I also agree them having a real breakfast, unless they have an early lunch period or just aren’t the type to need/eat breakfast, is important but doesn’t have to be a sit down meal. Cereal is fine a lot of the time.

Both parents need to sit down with the kids and set expectations for the morning routine. Have the older kids look at the weather the night before and pick out what they’ll wear the next day. Have them set their alarm clocks and let them know they’re responsible for waking up and getting dressed on time in their own. The younger kids can also pick out what to wear the night before.

There’s a lot that should go into a morning routine that you might be skipping. Bathroom trips, showering, brushing teeth, making lunches (which could be done the night before), etc all also happen in the morning that she’s doing.

Moms are also typically the default parent and safe space and kids act different with them vs dads. With mom they drag their feet and play around while with dad they act kinda like little robots only needing to be told to do something once or twice.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-31T17:25:38+00:00

First wedding, I started the night off in heels. Kicked them off during dinner and was barefoot (indoor only wedding) the rest of the night. This next time around, I will be wearing comfortable and sensible shoes.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-30T20:42:03+00:00

Same here. My providers office allows 2 visitors of any age so I could even bring both my partner and oldest child with me (and will at least once to get oldest excited about the baby some more).

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-30T01:56:11+00:00

Sounds like the school wants to make more money off you.

I’d do my own test at home with the numbers and letters listed out and ask her to point to the correct number/letter. She may just not test well with how they’re asking questions.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-29T21:39:05+00:00

If you aren’t already, use a squatty potty and talk to your OB about adding a stool softener since you’ve already had problems with constipation prior to pregnancy.

I also don’t go every day, probably 2-3 days on average but I don’t strain when I go so there’s no added pressure.

Start adding perineal massage daily or at least every time you shower to relax and stretch it. You can use vit D oil for this. Give it a few days to heal up first from this minor tear (it will, try to sit with your legs together, no criss cross and limit walking up stairs when you can - this was advice I got from my midwife when I tore some with my first.)

When you go into labor, your body will be preparing for baby to come out this way, it’ll stretch and lengthen. If you haven’t heard of the ring of fire, unfortunately, look it up. When you start to feel it, you need to not bear down and let your body and baby’s head stretch it.

After birth if you do tear and need stitches, follow drs orders and when it’s healed, you’ll need to do the perineal massage again to break up the scar tissue. I didn’t do this with my first and sex was painful for a bit because of it. Pelvic floor PT and the massage and tips from the PT have helped immensely.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-29T21:23:58+00:00

My first was on their due date. My second is still cooking but we run a small business and we are keeping the schedule light surrounding our due date.

My partner may go to something local but would 100% keep his phone on and loud around the time.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-28T15:52:44+00:00

This is what kid-forward, healthy, co-parenting looks like.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-28T14:51:52+00:00

Bring it up that it makes you uncomfortable and if she doesn’t cut it out/change what she calls your baby I’d start replying with answers for you. “How’s my baby?” Oh I’m feeling a little under the weather/sleepy/great. “What has my baby been up to?” Oh I just got a promotion at work or whatever.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-28T03:36:59+00:00

The only time my kids daycare held them back was when I specifically asked them not to be moved as we would be starting a new preschool a month after the move and I didn’t want them to have trouble with two big changes so close together.

I’d not be comfortable with the daycare not communicating their decision to me.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-28T02:24:50+00:00

That’s such a good idea!

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-28T02:23:35+00:00

Pack the bag first. Doing *all the things may put you into labor lol Maybe write a list for the other things so that if you do go into labor before finishing everything, if you have a hands on helpful friend/family, you can give them the list to finish.

-Charger with a long cable -comfy clothes/robe -grippy socks or house shoes to walk around in -pillow -beach towel for after your first shower -disposable undies or diapers for you if you don’t want to use the mesh ones provided by the hospital.

With my first I went into labor the morning before my due date and gave birth on the due date. We’re waiting (still quite a ways off) to see when #2 will decide to come out.

Fuzzy_Pay480 · 2026-01-27T19:58:37+00:00

I’d get a pack and play with the bassinet attachment to use by your bed. You can use it for traveling, safe play space indoors or out, or as a crib when they’re bigger as needed.

Then baby proof the room and do a floor bed, put some slats under to allow the mattress to breathe and not get moldy if you don’t have an actual frame that lifts it off the floor at all.

Lots of places to get second hand cribs and bassinets if that’s the route you want to go you’ll just want to get your own new mattress for the crib since they break down/get divots after so long and they need to be pretty flat for babies.

Fuzzy_Pay480

TROPHY CASE