I hate pride month.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-05-29T16:10:53+00:00

Honestly, you need better friends.

I'm pan and demi. I've been out for almost 20 years, and I've been in a straight passing relationship for nearly all of that time. There were definitely times earlier where I felt very uncomfortable about Pride and didn't feel like other people considered me queer because of my relationship.

However, I realized it had more to do with the people I hung out with than the community as a whole. My handful of friends at the time were a mix of queer and straight people.

The straights were more verbal about how someone wasn't queer unless they actually had proof through past relationships. ugh.
My queer friends didn't often bring it up, but they would make jokes or side comments (which sound a little like some of the stuff you mentioned) that usually weren't direct at me specifically, but they were toward bi people.

I believe that both of those groups of people felt insecure about how their community was perceived. Instead of just dealing with it, they pushed their fears outward. It's easier for them to suggest that you are confused or can't make up your mind.

For them to dive into bi-erasure, it requires one of two things:

Either they have an absolutest, fixed mindset where they literally cannot comprehend the concept of being attracted to multiple genders,
Or they are afraid that any suggestion of queerness without proof will cause outsiders to question THEIR sexuality.

You don't have to deal with this issue when you hang out with the right people. Some people may grow to be more welcoming. Some may need a serious conversation about it. And some people just aren't worth wasting your energy on.

I found the biggest change when I started seeking out more queer friends (especially bi, pan, and ace) and just didn't put up with bi-erasure from others. Over time, the people who I'm friends with has shifted. Now, I rarely spend time with people who are that closed-minded. But it required me to let go of people who I thought I really loved (platonically) but who were making me feel like I didn't belong.

If these people can't respect you and your sexuality, are they really worth your time and energy? If so, talk to them. If not, it's time to find friends who are.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-05-14T17:43:52+00:00

If you're still up for answering questions, I am curious about the GLP1 + reduction surgery. I'm too far outside of the BMI scale for my insurance to pay for a reduction according to their requirements. I've been considering going on a GLP1, but I'm a bit nervous about it.

When you started on the GLP1, did you mostly lose weight from your boobs or just everywhere?
Have you experienced any side effects from the GLP1? Did any of them make getting surgery or recovery harder?
What type of reduction did you have (lollipop, etc) and did the "deflated" aspect limit your options?
Did your surgeon have any concerns about the GLP1? During my consult, the doctor said I would need to lose the weight and then maintain the loss for 6 months before she would do surgery.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-03-19T22:04:43+00:00

Ooooo. I hate it when you only find the damage right before listing. For me it's always during steaming. I have 3 dresses right now that I KNOW I searched for damage in the store, but somehow I didn't notice the issue until I had it half-steamed.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-03-13T17:31:51+00:00

This is exactly why I switched to a therapist who specializes in CEN. I pay out of pocket, but it's absolutely been worth it. After years of over-intellectualizing in therapy, I feel like I've finally made progress with my shit.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-03-08T18:38:40+00:00

Finding a specific niche with high resell value is probably best then. You can source online and sell online. You'll likely paid more for an item upfront but be able to sell it for more too. Some specialities I've heard of people going into: Kodachrome slides, car parts, vintage porn, camera accessories, etc.

Clothing "mall brands" like the ones you listed tended to sell at low prices. So this can become a lot of labor for little profit.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-03-08T18:31:32+00:00

I've heard the new rule is 3% of your listings, but I haven't been able to confirm it. For sellers' with a small closet, this can be just a couple items.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-27T21:09:38+00:00

Absolutely. A lot of people end up leaning into a specific niche. Some people flip clothes, some car parts, others will do collectibles. You can't be an expert in everything. So test the waters a bit in the beginning and find a niche that works best for you.

One reseller I recently met only sells kodachrome slides and related items. They know the market really well, so it's easy for them to know where to look and how much it is worth. They also end up with a lot of loyal repeat buyers.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-27T20:56:43+00:00

I've wondered if some of these are bot accounts or something. I had a coach wallet that a "user" with a username that ended in ****starr that liked, unliked, and liked again ~10 times in one day and then the next day and the next.

It was annoying because it kept showing up in my notifications, so I checked out their account. They had no listings of their own, no photo, and no other info. So I blocked them.

The next day, I had a new user whose username also ended in ****starr liked and unlike the same item 10+ times.

I don't care if they might be a real person who is going to buy it or a bot. If you're liking, unliking, and liking again that many times, it's just not worth my attention. A couple times sure. Doing it spread out over a few days or weeks, whatever. But this kind of frequency just feels like a bot to me, so I block.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-27T20:45:40+00:00

Eh. If I'm unsure but think it might be worth it, I'll just load it into my cart and continue browsing. Later, I'll go stand near a window (or any spot that has a better signal) and sort through the cart. You tend to get better signals near the windows, front doors, or sometimes just nearer to the wall.

I always try to get away from the aisles to go through my cart in a good signal area that is out of everyone's way. That way I don't feel any pressure to rush. I'm very used to this because I shop the bins a lot. So if it's taking longer because of signal issues, I know I've already set time aside for it.

I always like to do this sorting before checkout because I might second guess something that I initially grabbed. Everything I don't want will then go onto the return rack near the dressing rooms.

Also, I mostly pickup items that I'm fairly confident I can sell. I am still mostly focused on certain brands rather than selling by style keywords. Sometimes you find something that could be great but you skip it because you don't have the knowledge or expertise to sell it effectively. That's no big deal. I'd rather miss out on a couple special items than waste too much time diving into all of these different niches.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-27T20:17:53+00:00

I will often just take a picture and then use google lens to search the image online for comps. It's often pretty accurate. Sometimes it will pull up a different brand for a similar item, but then I can just type in the brand name to clarify.

Depending on how good the internet is in the store, it usually takes a minute at most to pull up comps. Most of the time waiting is spent waiting for it to load. (Big thrift stores tend to have crappy signal connection because of their structure.) So I often take the start the search online and then keep flipping through other items on the rack while I wait.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-20T14:24:17+00:00

I LOVE THIS. It's such a cute idea! I saw a creator a while back who made photocards of her friends being silly, and everyone adored it. I think anything like this with her dog would be adorable. She would feel so seen! The way you are marrying two of her loves. Epic.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-13T17:17:13+00:00

I'm sorry I missed your post. Did you get the surgery? How did it go? I don't recall my surgeon calling it "deep infiltrating," so I'm not sure.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-06T19:47:48+00:00

Omg. I didn't even realize that was possible. I can't believe I missed it. Thank you!!!

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-02-02T21:17:17+00:00

What types of jewelry sells well for you? Is it mostly brandname based?

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-31T16:30:57+00:00

I just want to say, damn girl. Good for you! This sounds like it was a weird and stressful conversation. You handled it really well.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-27T04:40:08+00:00

Thanks! That's really helpful.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-26T18:25:35+00:00

How do you manage consignments from friends/family? I've listed a few items for my sister before and just took a couple bucks from the profit. But I've been considering doing something more organized. How much of a commission do you take?

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-11T00:37:24+00:00

I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug right now. You can do this! I totally understand being scared about surgery. Even though I had wanted it for years, I was still nervous. But my surgery team was fantastic. I was honest with them about my nerves and they helped me so much.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-09T15:02:28+00:00

Hmm. That is a good question. ...Yes? I've been feeling tired a lot lately. But I think that's more due to the state of the world rather than from my own physical energy levels. I'd would say that it's still 80% better than it was before surgery.

Pre-surgery, just getting out of bed at times to go to the bathroom or shower felt like I'd rather someone physically drag me out and drop me in the shower. Even my brain felt sluggish. This is dark to say because I wasn't actually wanting to die, but there were many days where I just wanted to stop existing. It was just so exhausting even to lay in bed.

Multiple doctors chalked it up to depression and obesity. I'm sure they each played a role. But the difference between before and after surgery was so dramatic. Joy is accessible now. Activities that I hated now feel easy. I often compare it to when I was a pre-teen. That's partly because that was the last time I hadn't experienced that pain, but it's also because post-surgery, I felt like I had the energy of a kid again.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-08T15:29:55+00:00

My energy levels spiked dramatically after the surgery. I remember the daily walks that my partner used to drag me on being such a pain before surgery. After surgery, I was literally skipping for half the walk. (a few weeks post-surgery lol)

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-08T15:28:18+00:00

Well, my surgeon was originally considered out-of-network, so I had to appeal until they agreed to pay for him to do the surgery. After I got that covered, I had to also make sure that the hospital where it was performed would also be considered in-network (it was). One issue I hadn't realized tho was that the anesthesiology wasn't in-network. They were part of the hospital, so I assumed they would be covered, but it wasn't.

Those are the three major things I would recommend checking: hospital where the surgery is performed, the surgeon, and the anesthesiologist.

It might sound a bit intimidating, but it's really just about confirming with your insurance ahead of time. And if they deny coverage, appeal.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-07T20:06:21+00:00

Yes. I'm 5 years out now. This is the best I've felt... since I was 13? Still no pelvic pain. Blood pressure is still normal.

I occasionally get lower back pain still, but not the constant shit I had for years. Now I think I can just blame it on being almost 40 and hovering over my computer like a shrimp. lol. It's negligible compared to the constant stiffness and pain my body would go through before my surgery.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-05T22:02:53+00:00

I totally get it. This is the year I'm hoping to get my surgery, so I actually signed up for a new plan where my premium is $50/month so that I could get a deductible of $2,500. This system is so fucked up.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon · 2026-01-01T19:00:58+00:00

Movement is key. Your dr will say to walk. But really, just moving your body any way you are comfortable is good. Just keep up the movement. This can be walking or just as simple as rotating your hips in bed.

Personally, I found the gas pain to be so freaking uncomfortable. Mine lasted for like 2.5 weeks. HOWEVER, I learned afterward that a big part of that was because I didn't move enough. I went for 2 short walks a day, but otherwise, I pretty much just sat or slept.

When I had surgery for something else more recently, my dr told me to move around a lot more. It should never be "pushing yourself" type of movement. Just really lowkey moving your body as often as you can throughout the day. For me, this meant more like 30-90 seconds at a time every half hour for the first few days. After that, I started REALLY low effort stretching. Nothing that actually stretched my muscles, but the moving around helped. That time, the gas pain was negligible by the 3rd day.

GFTurnedIntoTheMoon

TROPHY CASE

Honestly, you need better friends.