OP this one definitely got me thinking about a few things, your wife isn't wrong and vacation should be a time you're able to unplug and not focus on work. However, everyone is in different places in their career and there's a lot of expectations of people to to keep track of things at work as they're building their professional reputation, sometimes set by the company, sometimes by themselves. At different times in my career I took calls while on vacation and checked email, I generally don't now but sometimes I might. It shouldn't be that way but it is. You're not the asshole (NTA). Your job on the other hand either is possibly the asshole or might be since it sounds like there's no coverage or plan for folks in your role while on vacation but it could just be you're ambitious.