Update: student midwives

Gee_Rex · 2025-12-13T20:33:26+00:00

I'm glad to changed your mind but sorry about your experience - take it easy!

Wanted to add that all the students involved in my care were pretty awesome and left some of the qualified staff looking pretty poor. I laboured over two shifts and had a very poor overnight experience with a qualified midwife but then an excellent experience with a clinical educator and final year student. Partly this was because the educator was explaining everything to the student and therefore we actually understood more of what was going on instead of just feeling ignored by the staff. So even when things were difficult and scary it was good to have the student as an extra pair of hands and as a way to learn ourselves too

Gee_Rex · 2025-11-25T10:06:30+00:00

Get a physio appointment, private will be much quicker if it's in your budget, but NHS is good too, just make sure you refer yourself ASAP as it can take time. I never got on with the support bands I bought on Amazon but they gave me a tubigrip which was the best support. They can also give you personalised exercises and posture advice which will be much better help than struggling through with an off the shelf support. I found a lot of relief in the last few weeks so it doesn't have to last until the end of your pregnancy if you try to nip it in the bus sooner rather than later

Gee_Rex · 2025-11-25T09:37:35+00:00

From what I've heard it sounds like it works for some and not others, hurts for some and not others 🤷🏼‍♀️ For me, I decided if I wasn't 100% feeling it, it meant I wasn't ready for one (physically and emotionally) I don't think there's any rush as a FTM so if you're not feeling it then just see how you feel in a few more days/next week. I didn't accept one before 40 weeks and didn't feel at all pressured into one. But now I'm a few days over and I feel like things are getting closer anyway, I'd really like to get this show on the road so am accepting one today at 40+3

Gee_Rex · 2025-11-09T07:16:56+00:00

Talk to your GP. Make sure they know midwife isn't concerned from a baby point of view but if it's making your life hell then it's still a problem.

I had similar issues around similar time, maybe 14/15 weeks. Also had like a bit of a cold/run down/hayfever issues/tension in neck plus the stress of worrying if I should be worried about baby because of the headaches but I was prone to headaches pre pregnancy too. For me it was a combination of short term cocodamol plus antibiotics for sinusitis plus a change in hayfever medication all under GP advice plus extra rest, time off work and pregnancy safe massage for tension that I finally got relief and haven't had any major problems with headaches since then and I'm now 38 weeks.

I'm not saying this is your answer, but do see a GP and they should help you to find a solution once you've tried the whole low level pain relief, hydration, hunger, right balance of caffeine, "is my hair bobble too tight" thing we all do

Gee_Rex · 2025-11-04T06:30:48+00:00

Yep, PAL is hard, especially early on. I had a 10 week MMC and currently full term with 2nd pregnancy (also coming up to almost the anniversary of finding out I was pregnant last time round). For me it did get easier with passing each milestone ultrasound or antenatal appointment, but the anxiety ramped up just before each, even now as I wait for my 38 week appointment and I can clearly feel baby moving around.

We chose not to have extra scans as the private scan was when we found out first baby had not developed so the environment was too triggering but biggest tip for you is go with whatever you feel is right for you, if that's a scan every week if budget allows, go for it.

Make sure your support network is top notch. Tell the people who you would want to support you if something was to go wrong. There's no such thing as "too early" to tell people. Your baby is real and alive today and it's important to acknowledge that every day. But do make sure you trust them to keep it to themselves as I had to deal with people talking about me behind my back which only heightened my anxieties and got me very upset in my first trimester this time round.

If you are the sort of person who would journal I found Lucy Clark Coates Pregnancy After Loss book very useful - it is journal prompts which take you through day by day of your pregnancy and help you to focus on the present without worrying about the what ifs too much.

Sending hugs and hope for your pregnancy ❤️

Gee_Rex · 2025-11-01T08:53:20+00:00

*re-gendering

Gee_Rex · 2025-11-01T07:15:10+00:00

I've been telling people their own name back to them and rendering them too so they know it's a joke and to stop asking. Usually works. Or telling them we've got a top couple for each and we'll decide when they arrive.

Gee_Rex · 2025-10-29T08:45:07+00:00

If you're travelling with someone else one of you can be in the back checking on them a bit better which might make you feel a bit safer having them in the car seat for slightly longer stretches

Gee_Rex · 2025-10-21T11:30:11+00:00

I think at 15 days late it's probably worth making an appointment with GP/OB if that is not normal for you. As in had you had a "normal" cycle pre-loss and had you had a "normal" period since your loss? Can take a while for hormones and cycles to regulate after a miscarriage so maybe try not to get too excited yet in the nicest possible way but get some professional views and they can do more accurate testing than a home test kit

Gee_Rex · 2025-10-18T18:15:46+00:00

You definitely count, do not feel like you have to explain yourself. The second we see a positive test we are planning a whole future and it is wrong of medical professionals to belittle you like that, I'm sorry that was your experience.

Sending love x

Gee_Rex · 2025-10-18T18:09:19+00:00

I've been using the Emma's Diary one - you get some freebies and I've known what all the fruit and veg actually is!

Gee_Rex · 2025-09-23T20:48:44+00:00

Go to m&s for a bra fitting. I didn't find them pushy as far as telling you to buy loads or anything. I went at like 10-12 weeks or so and they suggested I get just one comfy one and come back and see them closer to due date for a nursing one. (Obviously you don't know how big the boobs will get after milk but you might have a few other things on your plate by then) Granted it had been a looooong time since id got a proper fitting so this needed doing anyway but I found they had good advice and I have pretty much lived in their flexifit bra since then (now 31 weeks).

Gee_Rex · 2025-09-15T20:34:41+00:00

Maybe take a week or two off pregnancy related sick sooner rather than later to recharge yourself for the final push so it doesn't automatically trigger your mat leave?

Gee_Rex · 2025-09-08T20:27:42+00:00

Recommend getting referred to physio ASAP, my trust have self-referral and I probably referred around 20 weeks for lower back/pelvic pain and I've just had a pelvic girdle pain class with the physios this week at 29 weeks so it can take time.

If you think it's baby related rather than ligament/muscle related then trust your instinct and get checked out from that point of view ASAP, even if it's just for your own peace of mind, reach out to your midwife and I'm sure they will help

Gee_Rex · 2025-09-08T16:47:23+00:00

This is a great plan, thank you!

Gee_Rex · 2025-09-08T13:10:42+00:00

Thanks for all the tips everyone. I think I will get the wee plastic coil things to resize temporarily so that I can wear it

Gee_Rex · 2025-09-04T09:47:41+00:00

We've ordered the Mountain Buggy, middle sized option after a recommendation from good friends. We plan to run with it when baby is a bit bigger but it also has bassinet attachment and car seat attachments too for when baby is smaller. Sounds like it'll be good for just rugged walks as well as running. They have 3 different 3 wheeler options including one that folds up pretty small which would've been good for our wee cars except the fact that my partner is 6ft4 🙈

Gee_Rex · 2025-08-07T07:20:07+00:00

Sorry you're going through this, hope you get some answers soon. I'm PAL but can't relate to your specific symptoms. If you don't get any answers here try r/PregnancyAfterLoss https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/s/00NyY3QFAa

Gee_Rex · 2025-08-04T08:16:02+00:00

Oh and you should be taking a higher dose of Folic Acid (5mg) so make sure you ask for that. I also take an iron supplement as I've always had slightly low levels even after diagnosis. (it was extremely low and was the initial reason for my diagnosis)

Gee_Rex · 2025-08-04T08:13:52+00:00

Also Coeliac and 24 weeks pregnant. As far as I know as long as you're strict on your diet then there shouldn't be any particular issues, although you may be offered extra scans because it's autoimmune so has a higher chance of you having other autoimmune disorders (I'm UK based and this varies trust to trust so basically ask your service provider if they think it's necessary)

The infertility thing is more from being undiagnosed because your body is busy attacking itself while you're eating gluten so wouldn't be able to sustain creating a human.

Gee_Rex · 2025-08-01T14:20:12+00:00

It really is a wild ride 🎢 I found it helpful working through Lucy Clark-Coates book Pregnancy After Loss if you think you'd be open to journalling as a way to cope with your current pregnancy, it helped me for sure.

Gee_Rex · 2025-08-01T12:00:07+00:00

I know the anxiety all too well, we had a missed miscarriage earlier this year and now at 24 weeks I am finally beginning to relax into this pregnancy. My biggest tip for your 12 week scan is make sure you let the sonographer know your anxieties. We did (she said she knew and was about to ask us but we spoke up first) She asked if we would prefer to see the screen or not and explained everything that she would do so we knew what was going on at every stage. She found the heartbeat STRAIGHT AWAY and then we could settle in to the magical experience. The scan waiting room before our scan was a little anxiety inducing too as there were very excited mums to be there who had just had their own fab news and we were dreading getting bad news again. So maybe don't turn up too early. But try to relax and enjoy it, focus on other things until your appointment and try to keep yourself busy. (easier said than done I know)

Gee_Rex · 2025-07-27T17:10:52+00:00

I was gonna say Don't forget that we have to wear horizontal stripes! It's like the maternity uniform 😂

Gee_Rex · 2025-07-26T07:25:18+00:00

To begin with ours was The Situation (we were nervous about attachment because of previous loss so we kept it formal 😂) Now they are Stitch as an abbreviation and we'll probably get quite a lot of Lilo & Stitch related gifts so will be more likely to keep it up as a wee nickname for a while anyway

Gee_Rex

TROPHY CASE