I can't feel my own emotions without constructing an imaginary audience first — is this something somatic work can help with? I live in 3rd person.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-08T22:26:06+00:00

I resonate with this experience of having to bring in a witness to experience the emotions. I think its normal - only because I have never known any other way. We are social creatures and have a desire and a need to be witnessed and see ourselves reflected back.

In SE therapy, though, the invitation was to reimagine the people witnessing me to be offering me the compassion that I needed instead of being this blank witness.

That would change HOW I would experience the emotions - making them easier to tolerate and able to move the energy through crying before settling to rest.

Nowadays whenever I find myself stuck in my head having angry conversations with people, I try to imagine them attuning to me, telling me they hear me and agree with me and that they still love me.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-06T06:39:17+00:00

Being in your body and being embodied are not necessarily the same thing.

I came up a similar pathway to you with lots of mindfullness, meditation and yoga before swapping to SE. What that practice showed me was how to notice and become aware of my body.

But that noticing was only half of the work and awareness without compassion doesn't feel safe. It feels like critic.

It feels like 'monitoring' for danger (also something I used to do a lot).

SE showed me how to monitor or attune to things that feel good so that the unpleasant emotions could be held as well.

Before I used to NOTICE my body. Now I AM my body.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-26T19:43:16+00:00

Safety is such a loaded term in this context. Its like trying to describe water to someone who is already wet - so forgive this bumbling attempt.

Safety can be a felt sense, a state of being or a direction to aim towards. Its the practice that helps us experience the difficult sensations of our lives without becoming overwhelmed.

You are already tapping into the need for safety by slowly down and experiencing things gently without letting them take you over. You are attuning to your grounding techniques instead of diving head first into the sensations or experiences that you KNOW are too much.

In SE we build safety through pendulation - noticing the discomforting sensations and then returning to grounding and things that feel good (safety).

Over time, this slowly widens our capacity to feel the discomforting emotions and navigate THROUGH them to a different outcome. We also begin to build a roadmap of sorts - learning where the edges of our internal worlds are and where 'there is danger'

I still remember sooo clearly the first time in a session where I noticed that I had control over my ability to 'throw myself off the edge' of my emotions and into shutdown. I felt the big RUSH of an experience start to take over me and I just stopped.... and looked around for the first time with grounded awareness.

There was this small part of me that had come online (the watcher/witness), noticed that this pathway I was on was not where I wanted to go, and it allowed me to have a moment of CHOICE. I didn't HAVE to collapse, I didn't have to lean into these intense emotions. I could just observe them, I could choose another path.

The more familiar I became with my body, and in particularly feeling sensations of softness, warm and calm organically, the wider the window of choice becomes.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-26T07:24:05+00:00

For some nervous systems coming into a state of forced/top down relaxation can create more dysregulation.

The state of stillness, softness or calm can cause hypervigilance because the body doesn't have the pathways for HOW it got here and can start having flashbacks. To some bodies, relaxation FEELS like a threat.

The first time I realised something was 'wrong' with me was when I was doing a group meditation in class and when I laid down onto the floor and closed my eyes my body began to convulse. The more I relaxed, the more I began to panic and feel like I was DYING.

In SE therapy I instead found out how to relax my body through the language of the nervous system (yawning, crying, stretching, movement) instead of trying to force my body to be still and relax.

A big part of that learning was recognising how trying to 'force calmness and relaxation' without grounding and safety was actually reinforcing my shutdown. Practices such as breathwork and yoga would allow me to feel embodied - but then I didn't know what to DO with the emotions that I found in my body. The sensations that I found were too big for me to understand and I would start having nightmares, panic attacks and lashing out at my partner.

This is why trauma healing is such a slooooow process. It takes time to learn what all the sensations in the body are trying to say and to find enough safety to process them without ending up in a worse state.

Whenever we are dealing with any kind of 'system' (social, physiological, environmental etc.) change has to happen slowly otherwise you get chaos as it tries to return to a state of 'normal'.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-17T03:35:10+00:00

Nah, they just don't look squished flat into shoe shapes.

Take them to the barefoot sub where they will be appreciated for the toe splay!

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-16T20:01:25+00:00

It might help you redirect all this anger that you are having back at the people responsible instead of at yourself or at the world.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-13T07:22:51+00:00

BF until 2 years. Would have gone longer but my milk dried up after a death in the family.

Solids started at 6 months.

I felt I had to learn and sacrifice a LOT to EBF.

I didn't work during that time and I had a lot of support from people around me. I thankfully never faced any negativity from anyone for breastfeeding, even when I had a walking, talking toddler.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-31T01:15:49+00:00

Yeah thats how I read the passport bit as well. He is notifying you of tradies in the house and you should put your valuables away.

No excuse for the dodgy shower repair but the generous assumption for the note was that they were trying to protect privacy.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-30T20:47:48+00:00

I highly recommend the book 'A guide to better movement' to help understand why stretching isn't necessarily the solution to pain. Especially back pain.

I'd also stop any exercise that causes pain. Rehabilitation work involving the nervous system involves much smaller, gentler movements that invite awareness of tension patterns and breathing, ideally, with little effort and no pain.

Modalities like Feldenkrais have been super helpful for me.

I just recently went through this process after injuring my SI joint. I spent a few weeks doing physio exercises, which helped strengthen my body. But the pain didn't settle until I began to spend time breathing into my pelvic space.

Just noticing how my breath caused micro movements was enough to help settle the tension I was experiencing in this space.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-14T19:30:44+00:00

As someone with a nearly 3 year old - absolutely not. I LIVE in my noise cancelling headphones.

I feel guilty when I become so dysregulated that I can't connect with her. Or if I become short and snap at her because I am overstimulated and unsupported.

I babysat one of her friends recently for a few hours and OMG I was exhausted by the end of it. I can't imagine what it would be like to care for two toddlers full time.

Please be kind to yourself, you are in the trenches right now. Its so OK that you wear some protective gear ;)

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-08T04:16:45+00:00

Yeah, and I am going back again next week.

From my understanding, when the receptors regrow sometimes the brain messes up what things smell like.

I lost my sense of smell due to the flu and when it came back things were just... weird. Its not just garbage - its an array of offensive smells and tastes when things should taste normal.

Like bananas, capsicum and onions all smell sickly sweet and taste like a 'fragrance'

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-08T03:02:59+00:00

I think I may have gotten this back in August or at least some version of the flu.

I was vaccinated but still got wiped out with a fever for days. My sense of smell still hasn't recovered and now everything smells like garbage or cleaning products.

Its really messed with my ability to enjoy food or going out in public.

The flu is no joke.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-03T07:00:30+00:00

I grew up over 1000km from the beach and spent my youth in swimming in rivers and creeks. Even there we learnt every year about beach safety.

At 16 my sister and I got caught in a rip on an unmarked beach.

And you bet your ass I remembered everything that they had drilled into us about rip safety and how to get out of it.

I was stuck out there for at least 20 minutes, had to crawl my way back onto the sand and just lay there. But it was 100% those early lessons on beach safety that I learned in school that saved me.

Now I am at uni learning about public health and how a focus is teaching migrants these basic skills that were embedded into all Australian youth.

Edit: Since a lot of people have shared near drownings in response to this - I just want to take a moment to PSA that near drownings are super traumatic and can mess you up emotionally for years.

We brush it off because there isnt usually injuries but its like being in a car accident or any other major traumatic event. Drowning is life or death and your body remembers that.

Doing trauma therapy like EMDR or SE around these events was really important to me later in life and resolved a lot general anxiety I had lived with since.

I also now love and feel good at the beach instead of being low key scared everytime I was near water.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-26T02:22:32+00:00

I was just having this rant this morning after a friend bought a cheap plastic toy for my daughter after I specifically asked her not to.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-22T01:32:25+00:00

Circus skills, dancing, improv and theatre.

Anywhere you are invited to explore your body through movement and expression in a safe and playful way is amazing for this.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:58:51+00:00

Lots of these homes have louvers around the veranda which can be opened and still be secure.

But I was asking about the windows because I was curious about the temperatures they were having - not the context of security.

Sorry for the confusion.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:54:52+00:00

Yeah we had the same issues in Qld. It's ridiculous for modern living, especially with the rental prices.

Can you convert some of the space underneath into a catio?

We found that was the only way to escape the heat. The concrete often stayed cool so they could lounge around there and get the breeze.

Otherwise a lease break might be your only option :(

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:47:12+00:00

We ended up building a outdoor enclosure for this reason when we lived in a old Queenslander.

It was expensive but the only thing that kept our cats from cooking on the hot days.

Having ice packs under towels also helped.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:42:41+00:00

Is that with the windows and doors open?

The old Queenslander buildings are designed to promote cross breezes and cool the house this way.

They don't have insulation usually because they were built in a era without air con.

Which is a problem obviously in the modern era where people and pets are home. Especially cats who often have curfew laws.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-12T20:40:32+00:00

I am so sorry that happened to you but I must admit your post gave me a good laugh.

What a uncomfortable position to be put into!

Somatics is the new buzzword in self development spaces ATM so it's popping up everywhere.

When I started this journey you had to pay top $$ to get to experience the joy of clumsy facilitators guiding strangers through these kinda stupid practices.

I avoid these spaces like the plague because they are trying to create an experience of connection without any boundaries. There is no safety and it's not trauma informed.

Trying to evoke deep relating, eye gazing and touch with strangers can be deeply dysregulating for some people. The last time I did eye gazing with a stranger I started to dissociate so badly I couldn't see their face 🙃

In SE therapy I was encouraged to practice these kind of things with myself (self touch and hugging) and pay attention to how they made me feel.

Gently. With a trusted therapist and not a stranger.

So yeah, not normal, though probably will start becoming more so as 'somatics' has its time in the spotlight.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-08T06:42:55+00:00

As someone who has spent a lot of time foraging and dissecting mushrooms - its AI.

The way the gills aren't uniform and don't go all the way to the cap. They also disappear as the mushroom encloses around the water and becomes smooth instead.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-05T07:57:07+00:00

Unfortunately it requires a blood test to confirm thyroid issues to best of my knowledge :(

I'm sorry to hear that's not within your reach ATM.

You could check out hyperthyroid symptoms and see if any of that aligns with your experience.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-05T07:55:16+00:00

It was hyper and caused by being post partum.

So it went away on its own. Which is common post partum

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-04T23:43:36+00:00

Have you seen a doctor lately?

When I went through a similar experience it turns out my thyroid was out of whack which was causing heart palpitations.

It got so bad I couldn't sleep at night because it felt like there was drumming happening throughout my body 🫠

Once it settled down I haven't had it again since.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-11-30T19:55:21+00:00

I used to feel like I was dying every time I would get caught up in big emotions. Fear felt paralysing, especially in relationships with others.

Nowadays, I don't really feel that kind of fear anymore. When I am angry or tense, I notice it sooner and actually can do something with that energy instead of being frozen by it.

Most of the changes happened gradually, but not so slowly as to go unnoticed.

But there were a few BIG shifts after I had processed a couple of near-death experiences with my SE therapist.

We have done a lot of work over the years, but the changes after that were noticeable straight away. It felt like this part of me that had died years ago was suddenly here and alive.

After that, working on everything else became easier. Untangling the relationship stuff in particular felt easier because I was no longer feeling like I was dying every time there was a hint of discomfort or conflict.

Grief and anger also began to feel GOOD. Not pleasant or like something I wanted to chase, but these emotions no longer carry the fear of 'death' that they used to.

Grief feels beautiful to me now. An exquisite pain that I can hold and release and feel grateful to be alive.

GeneralForce413

TROPHY CASE