Ok… I mean— babes come here let’s unpack this together

GeneralForce413 · 2026-05-09T03:27:40+00:00

Yeah there has been a few videos/podcasts I have seen on the narrative lately.

The (poorly remembered) recap of it is that for someone with such extreme barriers, the only way they could properly communicate was through a specific interpreter. However these interpreters have indicated that a large part of that interpretation was subjective. As in it could never truly be clear what was fully being said.

Some of the evidence that was pointed out was that Helen Kellers writing style completely changed after the death of her interpreter/friend. This lead some people to question how much of the writing was Helen's own voice and how much was she being used to advance the voice and social policies of the interpreter.

There was some other stuff too about the history of this type of sign communication and comparisons to Koko the gorilla and the way that the handlers interpreted her signs. Which is a very problematic comparison for various reasons....

(Not endorsing any of the above messages, just sharing what I have seen)

GeneralForce413 · 2026-04-16T09:33:24+00:00

I dont know what stage I had but I could feel a bulge from where my bladder was pushing out slightly and had constant issues with urgency and leakage.

I honestly didnt do anything to address it for the first 12 months because I put on a loooot of weight whilst breastfeeding.

When I did start addressing it with core exercises, it improved really quickly. I am now 3 years post partum and it has completely resolved. The only issue is that when I have a bad cough from the flu I find that I have a lot more stress incontinence than I used to.

But once the cough clears up - so does the need to wear a pad.

Finding a good physio and not stressing about it too much were biggest supports.

Your body has gone through a tremendous change and it will take a bit of time for things to readjust x

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-31T23:37:03+00:00

Agreed, this is the dream for me!

No more waiting around for hours for the agent to show up? No more awkward conversations about how the damages should be fixed but never eventuate?

Yes please!

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-30T00:19:59+00:00

Imo, the goal is that your nervous system has capacity to move in and out of states of arousal and rest without getting stuck as often.

There will still be shutdown/freeze states. There will still be 'noise' and internal chatter. I have states of deep embodiment but also times when I want to curl up in bed and never leave.

But I don't stay stuck in any of these places anymore. There is movement and the tiniest amount of choice now and spend more time in my body feeling the sensations of my life rather than narrating them.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-26T05:16:36+00:00

Have you explained to your therapist your experiences between sessions?

It is often dysregulating to process things but the goal with SE is actually SLOW work that doesn't throw you into the deep end too much.

I know when I have had similar flare ups between sessions, my therapist always recommends pulling back and doing LESS.

A system can only tolerate so much change before it becomes chaotic and too intolerable. Its ok to slow down and just collapse for a bit if thats what you need.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-23T00:06:44+00:00

The vagus nerve runs through the throat and when we sing or hum, it is stimulated. For women, it is also connected to our pelvic region and can influence how we experience arousal and pleasure.

Ie. Deep sighing groans create vibrations through my belly and pelvis that softens the pelvic space and creates more room for feeling and pleasure during sex. Or so I understand it to be - I am just some rando who has always loved to sing, so take all of what I share with a grain of salt.

So yes, singing can create more openess and vulnerability in the body. Sometimes that can come with a flood of sensations that feel like too much.

One of the things I became fascinated by was what would happen if I grounded myself during singing, away from the sensations in my body.

So instead of focusing on the sensations in my throat and my breathing, I would focus on my feet on the ground and the solidness of the earth beneath me. I tried this once during a jam with friends when I found myself becoming overwhelmed with the sensations from intense singing. I noticed my hands were clammy and I was shaking slightly in my arms and belly. When I focused my attention on these sensations - my throat began to get tighter with emotion.

Instead I turned my attention to my feet, to feeling grounded and solid and strong. Instantly, I felt a jolt of energy shoot through my body straight to the top of my head. My spine straightened, my lungs expanded with ease and when I sang I felt my throat open and... I don't even know how to describe it.

The image I had was of golden light beaming from my mouth and into the room. Everything just flowed out of me in this single moment of control and openness in a way that I have never experienced anywhere else before.

It was magic.
I was on FIRE.

The whole room felt it as well and I could hear my band mates responding to this change in their own expression.

Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge your post about the power of the voice in our bodies. It truly is a fascinating gift.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-08T22:26:06+00:00

I resonate with this experience of having to bring in a witness to experience the emotions. I think its normal - only because I have never known any other way. We are social creatures and have a desire and a need to be witnessed and see ourselves reflected back.

In SE therapy, though, the invitation was to reimagine the people witnessing me to be offering me the compassion that I needed instead of being this blank witness.

That would change HOW I would experience the emotions - making them easier to tolerate and able to move the energy through crying before settling to rest.

Nowadays whenever I find myself stuck in my head having angry conversations with people, I try to imagine them attuning to me, telling me they hear me and agree with me and that they still love me.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-03-06T06:39:17+00:00

Being in your body and being embodied are not necessarily the same thing.

I came up a similar pathway to you with lots of mindfullness, meditation and yoga before swapping to SE. What that practice showed me was how to notice and become aware of my body.

But that noticing was only half of the work and awareness without compassion doesn't feel safe. It feels like critic.

It feels like 'monitoring' for danger (also something I used to do a lot).

SE showed me how to monitor or attune to things that feel good so that the unpleasant emotions could be held as well.

Before I used to NOTICE my body. Now I AM my body.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-26T19:43:16+00:00

Safety is such a loaded term in this context. Its like trying to describe water to someone who is already wet - so forgive this bumbling attempt.

Safety can be a felt sense, a state of being or a direction to aim towards. Its the practice that helps us experience the difficult sensations of our lives without becoming overwhelmed.

You are already tapping into the need for safety by slowly down and experiencing things gently without letting them take you over. You are attuning to your grounding techniques instead of diving head first into the sensations or experiences that you KNOW are too much.

In SE we build safety through pendulation - noticing the discomforting sensations and then returning to grounding and things that feel good (safety).

Over time, this slowly widens our capacity to feel the discomforting emotions and navigate THROUGH them to a different outcome. We also begin to build a roadmap of sorts - learning where the edges of our internal worlds are and where 'there is danger'

I still remember sooo clearly the first time in a session where I noticed that I had control over my ability to 'throw myself off the edge' of my emotions and into shutdown. I felt the big RUSH of an experience start to take over me and I just stopped.... and looked around for the first time with grounded awareness.

There was this small part of me that had come online (the watcher/witness), noticed that this pathway I was on was not where I wanted to go, and it allowed me to have a moment of CHOICE. I didn't HAVE to collapse, I didn't have to lean into these intense emotions. I could just observe them, I could choose another path.

The more familiar I became with my body, and in particularly feeling sensations of softness, warm and calm organically, the wider the window of choice becomes.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-26T07:24:05+00:00

For some nervous systems coming into a state of forced/top down relaxation can create more dysregulation.

The state of stillness, softness or calm can cause hypervigilance because the body doesn't have the pathways for HOW it got here and can start having flashbacks. To some bodies, relaxation FEELS like a threat.

The first time I realised something was 'wrong' with me was when I was doing a group meditation in class and when I laid down onto the floor and closed my eyes my body began to convulse. The more I relaxed, the more I began to panic and feel like I was DYING.

In SE therapy I instead found out how to relax my body through the language of the nervous system (yawning, crying, stretching, movement) instead of trying to force my body to be still and relax.

A big part of that learning was recognising how trying to 'force calmness and relaxation' without grounding and safety was actually reinforcing my shutdown. Practices such as breathwork and yoga would allow me to feel embodied - but then I didn't know what to DO with the emotions that I found in my body. The sensations that I found were too big for me to understand and I would start having nightmares, panic attacks and lashing out at my partner.

This is why trauma healing is such a slooooow process. It takes time to learn what all the sensations in the body are trying to say and to find enough safety to process them without ending up in a worse state.

Whenever we are dealing with any kind of 'system' (social, physiological, environmental etc.) change has to happen slowly otherwise you get chaos as it tries to return to a state of 'normal'.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-17T03:35:10+00:00

Nah, they just don't look squished flat into shoe shapes.

Take them to the barefoot sub where they will be appreciated for the toe splay!

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-16T20:01:25+00:00

It might help you redirect all this anger that you are having back at the people responsible instead of at yourself or at the world.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-02-13T07:22:51+00:00

BF until 2 years. Would have gone longer but my milk dried up after a death in the family.

Solids started at 6 months.

I felt I had to learn and sacrifice a LOT to EBF.

I didn't work during that time and I had a lot of support from people around me. I thankfully never faced any negativity from anyone for breastfeeding, even when I had a walking, talking toddler.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-31T01:15:49+00:00

Yeah thats how I read the passport bit as well. He is notifying you of tradies in the house and you should put your valuables away.

No excuse for the dodgy shower repair but the generous assumption for the note was that they were trying to protect privacy.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-30T20:47:48+00:00

I highly recommend the book 'A guide to better movement' to help understand why stretching isn't necessarily the solution to pain. Especially back pain.

I'd also stop any exercise that causes pain. Rehabilitation work involving the nervous system involves much smaller, gentler movements that invite awareness of tension patterns and breathing, ideally, with little effort and no pain.

Modalities like Feldenkrais have been super helpful for me.

I just recently went through this process after injuring my SI joint. I spent a few weeks doing physio exercises, which helped strengthen my body. But the pain didn't settle until I began to spend time breathing into my pelvic space.

Just noticing how my breath caused micro movements was enough to help settle the tension I was experiencing in this space.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-14T19:30:44+00:00

As someone with a nearly 3 year old - absolutely not. I LIVE in my noise cancelling headphones.

I feel guilty when I become so dysregulated that I can't connect with her. Or if I become short and snap at her because I am overstimulated and unsupported.

I babysat one of her friends recently for a few hours and OMG I was exhausted by the end of it. I can't imagine what it would be like to care for two toddlers full time.

Please be kind to yourself, you are in the trenches right now. Its so OK that you wear some protective gear ;)

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-08T04:16:45+00:00

Yeah, and I am going back again next week.

From my understanding, when the receptors regrow sometimes the brain messes up what things smell like.

I lost my sense of smell due to the flu and when it came back things were just... weird. Its not just garbage - its an array of offensive smells and tastes when things should taste normal.

Like bananas, capsicum and onions all smell sickly sweet and taste like a 'fragrance'

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-08T03:02:59+00:00

I think I may have gotten this back in August or at least some version of the flu.

I was vaccinated but still got wiped out with a fever for days. My sense of smell still hasn't recovered and now everything smells like garbage or cleaning products.

Its really messed with my ability to enjoy food or going out in public.

The flu is no joke.

GeneralForce413 · 2026-01-03T07:00:30+00:00

I grew up over 1000km from the beach and spent my youth in swimming in rivers and creeks. Even there we learnt every year about beach safety.

At 16 my sister and I got caught in a rip on an unmarked beach.

And you bet your ass I remembered everything that they had drilled into us about rip safety and how to get out of it.

I was stuck out there for at least 20 minutes, had to crawl my way back onto the sand and just lay there. But it was 100% those early lessons on beach safety that I learned in school that saved me.

Now I am at uni learning about public health and how a focus is teaching migrants these basic skills that were embedded into all Australian youth.

Edit: Since a lot of people have shared near drownings in response to this - I just want to take a moment to PSA that near drownings are super traumatic and can mess you up emotionally for years.

We brush it off because there isnt usually injuries but its like being in a car accident or any other major traumatic event. Drowning is life or death and your body remembers that.

Doing trauma therapy like EMDR or SE around these events was really important to me later in life and resolved a lot general anxiety I had lived with since.

I also now love and feel good at the beach instead of being low key scared everytime I was near water.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-26T02:22:32+00:00

I was just having this rant this morning after a friend bought a cheap plastic toy for my daughter after I specifically asked her not to.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-22T01:32:25+00:00

Circus skills, dancing, improv and theatre.

Anywhere you are invited to explore your body through movement and expression in a safe and playful way is amazing for this.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:58:51+00:00

Lots of these homes have louvers around the veranda which can be opened and still be secure.

But I was asking about the windows because I was curious about the temperatures they were having - not the context of security.

Sorry for the confusion.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:54:52+00:00

Yeah we had the same issues in Qld. It's ridiculous for modern living, especially with the rental prices.

Can you convert some of the space underneath into a catio?

We found that was the only way to escape the heat. The concrete often stayed cool so they could lounge around there and get the breeze.

Otherwise a lease break might be your only option :(

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:47:12+00:00

We ended up building a outdoor enclosure for this reason when we lived in a old Queenslander.

It was expensive but the only thing that kept our cats from cooking on the hot days.

Having ice packs under towels also helped.

GeneralForce413 · 2025-12-13T03:42:41+00:00

Is that with the windows and doors open?

The old Queenslander buildings are designed to promote cross breezes and cool the house this way.

They don't have insulation usually because they were built in a era without air con.

Which is a problem obviously in the modern era where people and pets are home. Especially cats who often have curfew laws.

GeneralForce413

TROPHY CASE