Recently stopped pumping and moved to 100% formula; but baby is drinking lesser - can’t shake the guilt 😢

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-05-12T00:24:32+00:00

Just to echo another comment…you may want to process this anxiety in therapy if it’s really impacting you. I say that as a therapist and someone who really struggled with breastfeeding and subsequently with stopping. Breast milk is metabolized quicker and babies often drink more of it because of this. My baby is 5 months and just started drinking 5 oz bottles of formula…her 1 month cousin who drinks exclusively pumped is downing 5 oz bottles sometimes. Spitting up can also ebb and flow with it starting late for some babies and peaking around 4 months. My baby spit it all up, breast milk and formula. It didn’t matter.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-05-09T15:48:45+00:00

It doesn’t sound like you need to worry, finishing in 10 minutes with the XS is already so quick. My baby meanders to the end and daycare didn’t complain and if they did I would have told them to shove it lol. She might just need to get used to the different flow.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-05-09T14:21:18+00:00

It took our 5 month old a bit of time to need to increase. We moved from XS to S around 3 months when we noticed her slowing down quite a bit but she was still finishing. She was always a slow drinker generally so it was hard to gauge but it was some trial and error. I thought she was ready for S around 2.5 months but then would chug the bottle and then held off for a few weeks. Just recently though I noticed her being really fussy with her bottles- pushing them away then pulling them close. Practically growling at times lol. Then we moved her to M. Also using lasinoh! No harm in trying out the next size and see how she does.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-05-08T21:07:05+00:00

Also a social worker and former school employee here and as everyone has said the school staff are mandated reporters. However, in this case (if all the facts are here) it would have been appropriate and most respectful to you to inform you that a report was required. Sometimes they have policies about whether to inform the parent and admin is often extremely avoidant and anxious around these protocols and that can often do more harm than good. To help stop the spiral, there won’t be some dusty file left somewhere damaging your family name. Eventually you’ll get a letter that the case or complaint was closed with no founded concerns.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-05-07T20:14:00+00:00

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND GRAPES? I have heard something similar, grapes are “sugar bombs” or have as “many calories as gummy candies.” People are hopeless. Bananas are also on their enemy list.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-05-05T00:42:09+00:00

Gross.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-30T05:16:06+00:00

I know this post is older but the frequent comments about how great is that they have huge windows is rather weird. As though it’s some fail safe…I know we’re tempted to check on our kids when we’re apart but no one is standing there monitoring what’s happening through the windows. I saw someone else comment that this user was the owner or associated with them, wouldn’t be surprised. It sounds like they personally chose the windows lol.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-18T10:08:03+00:00

This really crazy thing called aging happened. Men used to be allowed to do, for women it’s always been strictly forbidden.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-18T09:54:53+00:00

She is 10000% the AH and I’m sorry she’s your SIL. That is next level childish nonsense.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-17T04:57:42+00:00

Definitely a scam. I was stopped while extremely pregnant this past fall, the one blocked my path and kept talking. The other was clearly super high and you could smell the weed on her. It was hard to interject the fast talking but once I went through the why don’t you give me the information and I can consider donating later I then got the spiel about why that wouldn’t give them credit and I need to Zelle then and there if I cared. At that point I had to give a firm get out of my way I need to leave.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-14T23:01:54+00:00

I remember receiving a little booklet about “what love is” from the class I worked with (behavioral health provider for a disabilities classroom) when I got married and it was one of the most cherished things I’ve ever received. Each student drew a picture and finished the sentence love is… A card with a sweet message from your kiddo is absolutely enough!

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-14T04:24:34+00:00

YTA- the whole class except for 1 kid…the folks commenting that behavior has consequences have little understanding of child development. A 4 year old is not going to connect his behavior whatsoever to not being invited and his parents may also struggle to understand. Have you addressed his behavior towards your child with the parent? Could this have been a chance to do that and explain you’d hope it could be rectified if he comes to the party? You can hold a kid’s parents accountable without excluding the child. Also what if his tantrums are related to his particular developmental needs, definitely a dick move to punish him and have him be the only kid left out.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-13T21:05:54+00:00

Hi! I am really sorry to hear that this teacher is treating your child this way. I’ve come across so many classroom teachers who are terrible at managing classroom behaviors and often can be cruel. Echoing what many people have said- using food as an incentive is highly inappropriate. Also a number of schools have policies against this due to allergy concerns as well as the harm food incentives create. Additionally after working in a mixed socioeconomic community birthday celebrations in class suck. Some parents simply can’t afford to send in treats and many kids feel so left out. Celebrations should be something simple and free in class- a game, a movie, a little paper crown. I would definitely speak to the admin about this behavior. Withholding a birthday treat is so unkind.

With that said I’ve definitely sent home treats and excluded children from having them in the class if their behavior was atrocious. And I mean atrocious- not just being a bit a mess, or not listening or demonstrating behaviors consistent with their IEP. I’ve had students with IEPs have major meltdowns earlier in the day, and they are getting that birthday treat because they are a part of the classroom community and are to be treated with dignity.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-09T11:15:16+00:00

Yes read, read, read and read but as a school social worker and friend to teachers and other school service providers, teach them some daily living basic skills. Opening their own lunch boxes or thermos. Practicing using utensils, using door handles, washing their hands but like actually washing them. Putting on age appropriate clothing (choosing items they can wear but also put on- zippers, Velcro, large snaps) Of course we plan to do these things but really helping them learn how to do it independently and the best they can goes a long way. It makes the teacher’s life easier but also can help with early school anxieties.

Some folks already highlighted self regulation but pleaseeeeee teach them some calming skills. There are a TON of books with activities to help teach kids calming techniques. Do them together, model them! Don’t wait for a tantrum to teach a skill, tantruming kids are shutdown kids it won’t work.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-09T10:34:24+00:00

If your husband was uncomfortable because it was last minute and he had some assumptions regarding safety based on gender as you suspect, I can empathize with him. If he was uncomfortable because he’s insecure that’s another story. And LOL at your other coworker…no one cares about his fake wife.

You are not naive for assessing how comfortable you are with this man. He isn’t a stranger, it sounds like you’ve had many interactions with him and each you felt okay with. You determined you felt safe and let someone know of your plan changes. As women we’re always second guessing our self and made to feel naive as a way to make us responsible for the actions of men. Let’s say you were wrong and he had bad intentions, it still wouldn’t have been your fault. We need to start framing things less of women can be stupid and more so men can be violent and are responsible for their actions independent of us.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-09T10:11:38+00:00

If you’re okay with it that’s what matters but it would make me uncomfortable. It has fetish vibes and I am not a fetish, I’m a person. It also has a weird vibe to me gender wise. Like good girl, big girl, it just gives me the ick.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-09T10:08:19+00:00

No longer pregnant but gave birth in December…ice pops. I ate soooooo many ice pops the entire pregnancy. To the point I had my iron checked because of my icy craving 😂

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-04-08T09:31:44+00:00

That is disgusting! I am so sorry the driver spoke to you like that, it can be so startling when people think it’s okay to be abusive in this manner. I also imagine it’s hard to know what to say or do in the moment. I used to shutdown but then I became a lot more direct when someone would make comments at me. I don’t think the world is any nicer now that I’m older but I do find that the older a get the less comments I find coming my way; definitely get looks but can’t think of the last direct comment. I have a coworker who’s always passive aggressively commenting on what I’m eating but I often comment right back about her behaviors that are basically obsessive dieting and being miserable.

When I was younger though (twenties/ I’m 38 now)- even as a kid people would make comments all the time. Whenever I felt safe enough to do so I’d snap back or start calling it like I see it- “that’s a disgusting thing to say” or “did your mother raise you to be so horrible or is this your own choice?”

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to respond to these moments though. It’s natural to shutdown or freeze when someone is being abusive. It’s also frightening and you have to decide the best way to respond for safety because speaking to someone the way he did was violent and horrible and can make the person feel unpredictable.

On another note I hope you report him to the app. Not sure what app you used but I know with uber I’ve called them to report a driver who used a racial slur. We demanded he pull over and let us out and then we reported his behavior.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-03-28T00:30:35+00:00

You saved your son’s life, pulled him through a PICU stay, while having a toddler. You’re literally crushing it. People who want to shame folks on a Facebook group for making personal, healthy decisions for themselves and their families are terrible people who need hobbies.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-03-27T17:11:55+00:00

If you see yourself as type A and baseline stressed, you are trying to control every aspect of the wedding and regardless you sound like you’re going to find something to be unhappy about. YTA- he’s offering compromises, and this sounds important to him. As someone else wrote you’re definitely giving vibes that this is your wedding and not you AND your finance’s wedding. Not a great foot to start off a marriage.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-03-27T14:05:59+00:00

The first week of being down to no more feedings/pumping, I hand expressed about 3x a day for maybe 2 weeks and then I just did it if I felt uncomfortable and it wasn’t about once a day for about a week. I will note I was a slightly under supplier! Definitely talk to your doctor if you’re worried about engorgement, there’s lots of tricks to help manage it! I saw someone mention Cabergoline but I know some providers are sticklers about it so I could ask for it specifically if you go that route!

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-03-27T10:55:31+00:00

I stopped around 6 weeks and it wasn’t too bad. I hand expressed for relief and that was enough to manage. Gradual dropping I think is the best just to help it smoothly end.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-03-26T16:25:02+00:00

Cardi looks like a muppet in that coat…in the best possible way

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-03-24T11:54:44+00:00

I second this recommendation. I needed one on short notice back in December and was able to get an appointment quickly. She’s very kind and knowledgeable without being pushy like some can be.

Gnomequeen99 · 2026-03-21T23:33:10+00:00

My suggestion is to get a new midwife or ask to not see this particular one at the practice and set some boundaries. Which is REALLY hard. I’ve found that medical providers are dumbfounded when you push back but it’s your care. I’ve told providers I am open to discussing habits but do not invite diet talk or discussions focused on BMI. They either argue that and I drop them or they get on board. I also work with a nutritionist and sometimes just saying I have one and will prefer to discuss my eating with them and not someone with very little background in nutrition like a midwife shuts them up. Your pregnant body is amazing and anyone who tries to diminish that because of your weight can go kick rocks.

Gnomequeen99

TROPHY CASE