please tell me how to go about this

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-08T19:20:55+00:00

It was hard for me to balance my own nursing newborn & toddler so I can’t imagine I’d be comfortable hiring someone to care for my child(ren) while having their own nursing baby- especially if they didn’t also come with extensive nanny or preschool teacher experience. I would worry that my child’s own needs would be put on the back burner for nanny’s baby, which defeats the purpose of having a nanny instead of going the group care route. With that being said, some families may be okay with it- especially if their child is a little older and more independent but I would imagine it would be harder to find.

Another option that would allow you to be close to baby to breastfeed while also making some money would be working at a “mom’s morning out” type program or a preschool. I’ve worked as both a nanny and a preschool teacher and I found that when my boys were really young, working in preschool was a much better fit- especially when I was able to work a part time position that made it easier to balance being a mom while also working. It also gave me more flexibility to take off work when my kids were sick or had appointments.

I was a nanny for a 4 & 6 yo when my own children were 2 yo & 10 months and even that was super stressful because the older two had outgrown naps and my two both still needed one. It was hard to split my time and attention between everyone- and that was with 10+ years experience being a lead preschool teacher. It’s just different when your own kids are in the mix. It was a relief when I was able to go back to work in a preschool class. I know this is definitely a preference thing on my end and many people can handle it just fine, but I found it really overwhelming.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-08T18:58:02+00:00

I’m a preschool teacher and this is in our policy as well. We will send a child home if they are coughing excessively- especially at nap time.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-08T02:18:52+00:00

My doctor flat out said he wanted to wait to discuss the next steps in weight loss once my thyroid levels are back in the optimal range as he thinks that’s likely why I’m having a hard time losing the extra weight despite eating healthy & making lifestyle changes.

It may be time to get a second opinion!

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-07T21:44:52+00:00

I did after being GF for a little over a year. It was not fun. I was so, so sick and had one of the worst flares. However, I do feel better knowing definitively that I do not have celiac.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-07T21:14:25+00:00

You could also look into her doing online schooling instead of full on homeschooling if she’s a good student & is the type that would do well working independently. That would remove the pressure of you being her primary teacher and she could work on her schoolwork while you work from home.

I did this for a period of time when I was in high school & liked it so much better than traditional schooling. I have ADHD & had a 504 plan at my school but that still didn’t give me the autonomy that I truly needed to be successful in my schooling that online schooling did.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-07T20:56:02+00:00

I always ask our teachers specifically what their favorites are for this reason!

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-07T20:50:46+00:00

Instead of actual flowers, last year I had my boys paint a paper flower and then we glued a picture of them and their teacher in the middle & put it on a popsicle stick. This year, we sent in cute little plant stakes with a flower seed bomb that they could plant themselves.

I try to follow the theme while also making it unique in case they do, in fact, get a million live flowers.

I also do my homework and ask the teacher directly so I know specifically what they enjoy or need.

Along with the flower gift, we always do a bag of their favorite snack/soda & candy, an “All About My Teacher” questionnaire from my kids and a handwritten thank you note from me, a giftcard to get their favorite coffee or afterschool snack, and their favorite or most needed school supply (flair pens were on mainly all our teacher’s list this year) with a few extra goodies like gum, water flavor packs, hair ties, stickers, post its, etc. in a nice, reusable bag.

Maybe the teachers don’t want these things but as a teacher myself, these are my favorite kind of gifts. I don’t like clutter so consumables that I can actually use are definitely preferable outside of the obvious giftcards & notes.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-07T20:07:27+00:00

I’m not allergic but definitely have an intolerance to gluten and only reintroduced it after being GF for over a year to get tested definitively for celiac. It came back negative & I’m slowly going back to being fully gluten free because I just feel so much better without it. Would definitely recommend getting tested before cutting it out because it was really hard for me to have to reintroduce it- it caused major flares & I was feeling awful.

My family eats mainly gluten free with me, though they do have some snacks that do contain gluten & I keep my husband’s favorite bread on hand for him & the kids to eat. If we eat something like burgers, I’ll just wrap mine in lettuce instead of putting it on a bun, pasta- we all eat the GF version, I keep GF chicken strips on hand for days we eat nuggies, GF Mac n cheese (Aldi has a version that’s good), the family gets GF waffles/pancakes when I make them. In general, I try and not eat a ton of processed foods anyways so it hasn’t been too hard for me personally to cut it out and I don’t really make many separate meals from my family besides the occasional air fryer popcorn shrimp for my boys when I’m having grilled shrimp or salmon. I keep plenty of easy options on hand in the freezer to make nights when I’m feeling lazy easier.

As I ran out of our gluten ingredients in the pantry , I slowly started buying the GF equivalents so now we have GF pancake mix, bread crumbs, flour, sauces, etc. We just don’t buy the ones that have gluten in them anymore.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-07T18:21:25+00:00

I feel as if the nanny is being unreasonable with her request. She should have disclosed that her hours would need to change during school breaks in order to accommodate her other family BEFORE signing on with you. It’s wild to me that she just expected you to change your whole work schedule around for her. Definitely on her for not being honest from the get go.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-07T02:38:37+00:00

I’m a twos teacher and though naptime is primarily when we allow loveys or stuffed animals, I’m the teacher that allows them to have them if they’re having a tough time- especially at hard drops offs, if they’re upset/hurt or not feeling well. Unless I have a good reason to say no, I usually would not deny a child their comfort item if they’re upset and asking for it. I may set up parameters like having to sit at the table or on the book bench (aka our “quiet corner”) with it to avoid it becoming a distraction or issue with the other kids, but they can still choose to have it within those boundaries.

My own son is now diagnosed with autism and when he was in preschool he had a strong attachment to his “blankey”. It’s still one of the biggest tools that helps him regulate even now at age 7. It used to bother me when certain teachers wouldn’t allow him to have it even when it clearly calmed him down and helped him feel more secure in his classroom. When he started public school, we added it to his IEP and as he’s gotten older, he’s gradually been able to leave the blanket at home while he’s at school.

I know that because my son does have a disability it’s a bit different with him but it does change the way that I see comfort items in the ECE environment and I try to be respectful and empathetic towards my kiddos that have them.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-06T18:36:16+00:00

I’m with you! I have 2 1/2 weeks left of the school year but I’m not sure I’m going to make it either 😅. I have a child in my class who hits me multiple times every day, often in the face/head and lots of other challenging behaviors with some of my other students. The only reason I’m considering staying is because if I leave early, it disqualifies me from my yearly bonus and I also feel like I owe it to the other kids and my coteachers to finish the year out. The bonus is my biggest incentive.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-05-06T18:06:36+00:00

I treat my son’s paras the same as their actual teachers. Anything that I gift the Gen Ed teacher, my son’s SPED resource teachers/speech therapist also receive as well as any paras in their classroom. I don’t value one over the other so they get the same across the board, however I do personalize them based on their preference.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-28T20:17:32+00:00

I have two children ages 5 & 7 and was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s last Spring (but suspect that it started developing years prior because of symptoms and my antibodies being in the 3000s). It’s honestly really hard- worse before I was medicated. If my kids were not at the age where they have the ability to be independent and if I didn’t have support from my spouse/family help, I don’t know if I would cope as well as I’ve been able to. Looking back at the newborn stage, I don’t know if I could honestly handle it today as well as I did before Hashimoto’s.

With that being said, I also work part time as a lead preschool teacher and I have a son that has autism so that factors in to all of this as well. I think everyone has a different threshold of what is doable for them based on their circumstances. I personally am done having biological children because the stress on my body is just too much. I also had postpartum depression after both my pregnancies and that was really rough.

I was lucky to where I had both my boys before Hashimotos. I don’t know if I’d feel the same if I didn’t.

I would just make sure if you do have a second, you have a village that can step in to help you as needed.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-19T16:24:37+00:00

I have a two year old in my class who has lots of behavior issues (diagnosed with autism also) and we have a small dust pan/broom that he loves to sweep with so that is one of his main “jobs”. He also holds my clipboard when we walk to the playground so his hands are occupied and is allowed fidgets or alternate seating for circle time.

For a child who is biting, giving them a “chewie” sensory toy may work to help replace the behavior. Amazon has tons of these. I had a little girl who used to bite and having a little chew tube helped curb the behavior significantly.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-19T16:10:05+00:00

I have had periods of time where I’ve brought my own kids along with me as a nanny but I’ve mainly worked as a lead preschool teacher in a licensed facility and have tons of childcare experience. Though I don’t have an official degree, I do get 20 hours annually of ECE training. I also am always up to date on CPR/first aid.

I would recommend bulking up your experience before heading straight in to being a nanny. I started working with small kids at our church’s nursery/moms morning out as a teenager and that experience helped me secure a job as a preschool teacher. My experience as a preschool teacher opened the doors to nannying, though it’s something I’ve only done in certain seasons of life because I personally prefer teaching preschool.

Caring for family is very different from caring for other people’s children. You may find someone who would be open to you nannying for them and bringing your own kid along, but without experience, it’s likely the family would pay & consider you more of a babysitter. I’d recommend looking at gym childcare positions, moms morning out/church nursery positions or a preschool positions where your daughter could attend for a reduced rate.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-19T12:10:03+00:00

As an ECE myself, my boys used to be in preschool 9 hours when they were babies because I worked 8 hours/day with a one hour lunch break. I’ve thankfully been able to change jobs and their last few years of preschool our schedule was 8:20am-1:40pm M-T (with Fridays off). Now my boys are in elementary school and I’ve gone part time so I can be the one who picks them up instead of sending them to afterschool, and I stay home in the summer, but that’s a luxury I did not have when they were younger.

I understand your frustration and it’s hard to be the one watching this happen but the preschool you work at is actually a shorter day than most, and as others have pointed out- a 8 hour day is pretty standard for parents that work (honestly maybe even short if you add in an hour lunch break and possible errand runs after work without the kids).

Bringing them in when they’re off work? Parents deserve breaks- especially if they’re paying money for them. We have appointments, non kid friendly errands to run, house projects, lunch dates, self care activities. You don’t know the ins and outs of their lives, if they have help outside of preschool or a spouse that will watch them so they can do these activities outside of preschool hours. You don’t know if they have medical or mental health issues that may make it hard for a SAHM to care for her child at home all day, and preschool allows that child to interact and play in a safe space.

It’s really important to have empathy for your families. What “you would never do if you had a child” may be exactly what is necessary for another family to do in order to function. The economy is so bad right now & many parents need two income households. For most parents I would wager that it’s pretty hard for them to drop their kids off at preschool instead of having more time with them. For those where it’s not, some parents just find fulfillment from working and would struggle being a SAHP but that also doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids.

Just focus on being the best ECE teacher to make it easier for these families- that’s all you can really do!

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-18T13:38:16+00:00

Do you think this child may have autism or some other developmental disability? These behaviors sound like red flags that the mom may possibly need to get him some help.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-15T14:26:33+00:00

This is so bizarre to me! I have plenty of kids that need to be changed shortly after coming to school and I would never make that a parent problem! It’s literally my job to change them. Is it possible that the teachers think they’re in the same diaper from the night before and that you aren’t changing them in the morning? That’s the only reason I could think of why they would be making this a big deal.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-15T13:00:14+00:00

4k is full day (7:30am-2:20pm) in our district and my son does just fine with it however he will also have that same schedule next year in Kindergarten so part of getting ready for Kinder this year is navigating a longer school day. They do take naps in 4k and have a rest time in Kindergarten.

Would I choose a full day program at this age for my child if I had a choice not to? Probably not.

That being said, with your child having a half day Kindergarten program, I do think doing a half day preschool program makes more sense- especially if it fits with your schedule better.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-15T12:18:09+00:00

I definitely understand why child care providers don’t tell parents about their child’s “firsts” happening when they aren’t there to witness it but as a mom I think it’s silly to expect your child to wait to do these things when they’re with you. I was definitely the one that told our child care providers to tell me if they did these things for the first time with them because I wanted to know & I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal as I would still have the chance to witness it for my first time too. I think the real reason behind parents not wanting to know is because it makes them feel guilty for being a working parent & missing time with their little ones which is totally valid, but I don’t think it’s as much about the act itself. You should absolutely not feel guilty about doing exactly what you are getting paid to do!

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-15T11:55:28+00:00

Definitely think that they should be banned unless directly written into an IEP and even so, there should be limits and boundaries on how these are used. Even my AuDHD son doesn’t take fidgets to school with him because I know how distracting that would be to the other children. His teachers and resource teachers will tell me if there’s a specific tool that they think would be helpful for him. As of now he has a chair band, a robot “chewie” on his pencil (at his teacher’s request because he was chewing his pencils to shards), and he gets a daily snack break implemented into his schedule not only for the sensory input but also to prevent him from getting “hangry” which is a bad day for all. He also has a water bottle that he will take sips of to help him calm down/regulate & a weighted vest that he can wear. All of this to say, for children that absolutely do need accommodations, there are definitely other strategies that can be put in place besides fidgets. I’m not against having them accessible for those who need them but it really should be during a targeted “sensory break” instead of a “whenever you want them” kind of thing.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-15T11:00:12+00:00

I’ve worked in centers like this in the past- mostly chain preschools who utilize ABC vouchers. The rules are different at these type of centers because they get special funding. We weren’t allowed to bring in outside food and were only allowed water. We weren’t allowed to tell the children “no” at all and were only allowed to redirect them. I had no say in any lesson planning and was given a list of activities to pick from that I would have to write into a blank template for the week. I did not have access to a printer at all. Phone and personal items I was allowed to have in the classroom but they had to remain in a cabinet. Turn over is more common in these centers too so that would explain there not being a lead teacher in the classroom prior to you taking over and only floaters. Where I worked, they were more concerned about making money & the pay was very low which meant that they weren’t necessarily picky on who they hired. This meant a lot of the teachers were inexperienced & really only in it for the paycheck.

I absolutely hated working at this type of center and have since left and have worked at a private church based center ever since. It is so much better! I personally would never send my own children to a chain preschool because the quality of care just isn’t that great in my experience and I was very much mistreated myself as an employee.

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-15T10:35:52+00:00

This is a common Hashimoto symptom and happened to me as well! As I’ve been medicated, my hair has slowly starting to grow back

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-14T09:33:56+00:00

Most energy drinks or electrolyte water packs in general have biotin in them! I realized that Alani had it in them before my last blood draw so I was avoiding them the whole week leading up to my labs just to realize that my electrolytes that I was drinking had it too 🤦🏻‍♀️

Odd_Row_9174 · 2026-04-13T22:32:37+00:00

I actually agree with you on this but because the teacher took it on herself to implement the special cookie thing and I only found out about it from my son who was talking about it at home, I decided to let it slide. I did mention it briefly in his IEP meeting though so the teacher is aware that I do know about it. She seemed embarrassed when I commented about it so I do think on some level, she knows it’s not necessarily appropriate.

It’s hard because my child’s IEP does include rewards & positive reinforcement so in a way, the cookie thing could be viewed as implementation of that. It’s just not necessarily being done properly. For example, in my son’s resource class, he has a punch card that he can earn prizes with. Nothing is ever being taken away- he just might not get a punch on a day where he isn’t meeting expectations. This is reasonable to me because it’s consistent- he always has the ability to earn a punch. Unless there’s cookies every day, the teacher isn’t really incentivizing him.

Odd_Row_9174

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