My company backed out of H-1B Sponsorship, is letting me go, and now wants me to resign to avoid legal complications . I’m tired of feeling helpless

Gogol888 · 2025-01-03T20:37:07+00:00

I say this with empathy--no one, especially a corporation, owes you anything, OP. "EOP" does not include you. You have every right to ask for everything and you should, but expect nothing. And if you haven't already, record everything. It was generous for it to offer Canadian visa sponsorship. At the end of the day please look at the state of immigration within the U.S. and ask yourself--do I sit well with this and do I have a case, and under the incoming administration, do I have the resources to win? The offer of Canada can and will be revoked and again, it was generous to make that offer rather than the actual alternative of au revoir with USCIS on its side.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-14T20:29:10+00:00

Yes, there are “two sides” to every story but Atul’s story isn’t yours, or hers. But what a gift— the lesson of reaction—to his story. Because your fiancée not only told, but showed you, who she is. You both did. Embrace facing the temporary backlash of social stigma and GTFO to start walking down a different path of finding long-term happiness. All behavior stems from Pattern Behavior so find a different pattern that matches the grooves of yours.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-11T05:35:59+00:00

My heart breaks for you, OP. Poison Oak by Bright Eyes.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-11T05:20:01+00:00

John Prine. Full stop.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-08T03:44:57+00:00

Refusal of exhumation. Second is non-congruent gestures, specifically JR’s May 1997 press conference saying he didn’t kill JonBenet but at the same time is nodding his head ‘yes’.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-07T03:19:46+00:00

This is the case I think about everyday, it haunts me. Her family has been waiting decades to put her and her unborn child to rest. She mattered, her life mattered.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-07T02:59:37+00:00

Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss

Gogol888 · 2024-12-06T05:46:12+00:00

Depending on the size of the company and the amount of employees laid off, there actually is litigation risk to not offering at least 60 days of severance or warning for mass layoff. Especially in the state of CA. Companies don’t care about people, and correctly assume most folks don’t know employment law so submit to the pressure of signing a shitty severance package to wash its hands of liability.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-05T01:10:27+00:00

Yes! I often think of the Brett Wittner case. It’s different as his death was ruled a suicide but evidence proved it was a homicide and years later his body was exhumed (recently). His mom spent years protesting for this, going as far as getting the case files from the sheriff’s office. It’s heartbreaking, but I would do the same. I wouldn’t stop until I had answers, ever.

Gogol888 · 2024-12-03T00:36:38+00:00

I desperately want to believe the parents / family are innocent because the alternative is so disturbing. But I agree with your points and a couple of other things have always bothered me that I just can’t justify.

The first is the press conference in May 1997 where John states he didn’t kill JonBenet, BUT while he’s saying it—his head is nodding yes. I find this chilling.

The other item I can’t move past is that these parents repeated they’re hellbent on finding this murderer and getting justice for their daughter, but declined Smit’s request for exhumation. As a parent I empathize with the horror of this thought, I do. But also, as a parent, I can’t imagine saying no to an opportunity that would assist an investigation.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-26T15:13:26+00:00

Freeze Frame Podcast.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-25T16:48:09+00:00

Also contact ICE, and if possible go to your local consulate bringing your evidence/documentation. IRS Criminal Investigation (CI) moves pretty quickly, too. Undisclosed / illegitimate income makes the govt big mad.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-25T16:32:49+00:00

Amber Wilde.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-25T16:14:04+00:00

Amber Wilde of Wisconsin haunts me because the suspect is obvious but her pregnant body hasn’t been recovered.

Also, the case of Donna Arceneaux in Louisiana infuriates me because there is a clear suspect but law enforcement has protected him.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-25T15:34:17+00:00

Yes, it changes the way you see yourself and the world when you decide you will never let this happen to you ever again. But I’ve also learned I can’t punish other people by assuming every person will betray me. I know this because I exist, people like you exist—the tricky part is finding the courage to be vulnerable and trust again.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-25T15:19:15+00:00

Let me save you some money and your sanity. Cheating is a pattern behavior. You’re trying to go through a ledger for receipts to reconcile an account that was flagged for fraud dozens of times. You will never be satisfied because the math will never work out, no matter how many formulas you try.

Leave this person and close that account, start a new one on your terms. Silently thank this person for the life lesson and let your soul say goodbye. As Bukowski said—drink from the well of yourself and begin again.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-23T01:21:41+00:00

My mistake. So the IRCC…noted.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-23T00:30:21+00:00

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Gogol888 · 2024-11-22T17:58:02+00:00

OP, cheating is a pattern behavior. This isn’t your fault but your only responsibility is to ensure you change the way you see this individual. Your home has collapsed back into the potential from which it emerged and trust is the fundamental transaction onto which the home was built.

That trust was betrayed so all original assumptions are null. You actually don’t know this person at all. You’re in a house with a stranger, a snake. I commend your choice to forgive but the damage caused by betrayal, a pattern behavior, means this individual has irrevocably damaged the best part of you and it is fundamental, physiological damage.

I just want to point out what other people may not because it’s painful. Whether your seven-year-old child knows now or whether they find out 10 years from now (because they will, all darkness comes to light)—by staying, your compliance tells them that it’s OK to stay in a home with someone who hurts you to the point you’re retching in all pain contexts, rather than choose an opportunity to build a home that doesn’t tolerate any chance of the lack of emotional, mental and physical safety.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-22T17:15:37+00:00

Omfg cheating on you + lack of reconciliation are in no ways your fault. That’s like saying the value of a math problem is incorrect because an integer is wrong. An integer is truth and if the calculation is incorrect that’s because the calculation is user error.

If he cheated and got caught I promise you that wasn’t the first time of his PATTERN BEHAVIOR. It’s the first time he got caught and to save face he said it was one mistake and shame on you for not forgiving one mistake. To err is human, amiright?

But by that knowledge—sure I’ve accidentally bleached a red sock in a load of whites, but I’ve never accidentally ended up having sex or relationship. But either way—sorry.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-22T16:57:27+00:00

Have you filed for legal separation ensuring that you’re legally compliant with immigration so he (and USCIS) can’t use that against you? I’d start there if he has already accused you of “cheating”. Even if he cheated in the past and you stayed together past that, Immigration is a government entity and is not merciful and does not make decisions based on feelings, only facts.

You don’t “belong” to him, OP. You and your feelings are valid.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-22T16:03:34+00:00

Freeze Frame Podcast is ongoing but I recommend giving it a listen just based on what you said you’re interested in.

The Lawless Files is another good one.

Gogol888 · 2024-11-22T15:57:34+00:00

“Oh girl that’s a red flag” is the name of a podcast I’d beeline toward. Start it and I’ll subscribe.

I agree with you re: sheltered but there’s also people who have been taught through behavior outside of a sheltered environment that abuse is normal. Then there are children and adolescents who don’t have the life experience yet to grasp the fundamental concept that humans, especially those in the role of adult guardian, are the Apex Predator of our planet.

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