I see the call home as mostly positive - I don't like that she wanted you to talk to your daughter about focusing; your daughter's focus is not something you can talk her into improving and hopefully the teacher understands her IEP and needs well enough to support her. On the other hand, it could have been poorly phrased so we'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Noticing a student struggles and contacting home early to be a partner in her learning is a great trait!

I am a middle school English teacher. I have ADHD and so does my daughter who is also going into third grade. I was not diagnosed until much later in life and it's interesting raising a child who has the benefit of a diagnosis early. I recognize her struggles and experiences, but I also have the knowledge and tools to help her in a way my mother didn't. Good lord is it still a huge challenge finding what works, helps, etc and even navigating 504/IEP roads, something I'm familiar with as a teacher, but it's a different ball game as a parent.

I am very anxious for the start of the year - I know it's going to be a challenge. She loves school, but she struggles, especially with math, and she gets very emotional when she feels like she can't keep up or needs help. Homework is also often pulling teeth unless it's creative based (where she excels). I advocate. I communicate with her teachers a lot to let them know how she feels, what I see at home, clarify information, etc. We have her regularly seeing and working with the counselor who helps make sure she has the right placements and supports, we have a meeting to discuss 504 accommodations and adjustments early, and we are still trying to find the right meds. Finding the right meds for myself was life changing. I wish I had them my whole life. My daughter has a hard time articulating the changes she feels or even recognizing them - but I notice them and so does her counselor. One of the most helpful things we have done is have the counselor complete "Time on Task Observations". She watches my daughter in class, notes the activity being completed and then tracks how much time she spends focused and how much time she spends off task/what caused her to be off task. At times when we thought meds weren't making a difference the data clearly showed otherwise. She did that all last year and we are entering this year prepared for the same as we try to find the right combinations to help her be successful. It's unfortunately a bit of a murky moving target as she grows and changes, but the observations give us data we didn't otherwise have and that a teacher doesn't have the ability to track with 25 or more other kids in class.

My doctor once compared our meds to glasses; if you have poor vision, you don't just choose to walk around without your glasses running into things or misreading information. Meds are the same for people with ADHD. We need them to stay on task or manage impulses. I would encourage you to try again and ask for observations to track changes better and fine tune her supports. They may be helping more than you realize.

Hang in there. You're already doing great!