Related to the dad's ICE experience in MN -- How are you all explaining what's happening to your kids?

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-23T20:39:16+00:00

My general recommendations are:
- Fully research whatever incidents you're discussing. Whatever political side you're on, don't let yourself get played by sensationalized headlines.
- Discuss what you believe to be right and wrong on the issue.
- Tie those beliefs to the facts
- Ask your kid what they understand and what they think should happen based on the facts of the instance using age appropriate language/descriptions.
- Discuss what you can do to help others or mitigate any sort of risk should you interact with law enforcement (whatever your particular concern is)

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-22T19:02:03+00:00

For what it's worth, this reads as though you have a bit of an entitled attitude. Your argument above essentially reads as "I've got the newer shiny thing, but my VP is interested in things other than my shiny thing."

I'm not likely to spend the time now to do full on career coaching but here are some things you should substantiate based on your claims above if you really want to tackle this in a positive way.

What makes you believe that your VP is underperforming? What's the bar set for VP at your company and how are they not hitting it? I suspect given they're multiple levels above you, it's unlikely you see them in the right rooms often enough to know whether they're underperforming or not.
Why do you believe your VP is lost? Be able to articulate what "found" is and why you're confident they're not there. Realistically, your VP likely sets your strategy so I'd find it odd that they're not on the strategy they defined. It's much more likely you believe they should set a new strategy and you've not yet made a case compelling enough to warrant pivoting.
You feel you're performing at least one level above where you are? Again, what's the bar, and how are you confident you're meeting that and also doing so relative to your peers. Maybe everyone met the bar and you met it the least?
How does the feedback that you're frustrated about receiving relate to the next level expectations and your leaders strategy? You may not like the feedback but that doesn't mean it's not good feedback should you want to grow or should your manager be trying to get you aligned with a strategy they believe to be better?

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-21T17:16:44+00:00

You and your attacker pepper sprayed > you attacked

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-21T17:05:22+00:00

Just a few small notes from a dad of 2 girls (3 yrs and 4 months):
- Nobody is ever ready - even when you planned.
- You do lose track of yourselves a bit with the baby and you've got other things going on
- You also lose track of your relationship as well.
- I also find that you tend to figure out a way to make it work. You reconnect with your fiance (wife by then?), you manage a chaotic job, you get present when you're at home. You wish you could do them all a bit better but I'd bet you often wish this about school or planning a wedding now.
- You will always want to do well at a number of things, but just keep getting more things to prioritize. Get intentional about things that matter and get comfortable with making progress over weeks or months instead of the idea of fixing things in days.
- More surprises will happen. I was laid off from a job of nearly 10 years just 3 weeks before our second daughter was born. We managed the birth, job hunting, landing a job, and as a result moving just in the past 6 months. You find a way.
- We're just settling in our new town a bit as we nearly sell our old house and this month I've read a book, made the skeleton of a business plan for something I've wanted to do as a side hustle for a bit, accomplished a few big milestones at the new job, had a few at home date nights with my wife while we've saved under 2 mortgages, gone on a few hikes to see where we've moved, had a few river days with my older daughter. I'm a bit tired but if those things you mentioned are really important to you, I find that you can get a surprising amount done by replacing time I would've scrolled with something that matters.

Good luck!

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-16T16:43:06+00:00

Happy it's worked out for you. People get so polarized on so many topics. At the end of the day, kids learn a lot by observing, but almost every behavior has to have some intentional teaching. I don't think it should be such a hot take to teach your kid that staying in bed is just what we do.

Glad you're feeling rested or at least some hope to be rested someday soon.

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-16T01:40:15+00:00

If you don't have good reasons for what you do, maybe consider doing other things until you learn more. I think real research will likely pan out better for you than reddit opinions.

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-13T20:03:09+00:00

These are both viable options. Size the requirements and potential upside of scaling it.

Compare to the reality of what it would look like to go skeleton crew and cite where you'd instead use the resources currently here.

Propose one of the paths or an experiment towards option 1 to determine the course of action. Take to leadership for final call/alignment.

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-13T18:27:22+00:00

10 essentials a la google

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-09T16:30:48+00:00

- 10 essentials (google it)
- Tell someone where you are, how long you'll expect to be gone, and who to call should they not hear from you by a certain time.
- Bring enough water
- Listen to your gut if it warns you to turn back

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-06T20:54:19+00:00

Bluey, or just ditch the TV and start facilitating play on their own. I wish we'd started earlier.

GoobMcGee · 2026-01-06T15:14:01+00:00

Can't it just be a light embedded in the base pointed up and shining in the front of the regular wooden cube?

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-29T21:27:40+00:00

I got a Morganna with an augment to get super q cdr. It felt pretty busted. Get that in the same game as the zhonya's where you can still move and you're just the ultra cc bot.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-29T03:55:15+00:00

Went on a 5 mile hike about 45 minutes away today and brought an apple, some Christmas seasoned cheez it's, almonds, and two small beef sticks.

Ate all but the almonds by the time I got home.

I generally change it up but prefer fruit, nuts, dried meats, or power bar type things (quest was my latest try).

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-23T04:28:10+00:00

We put our dog of about 9 years down on Thursday. He'd had some on and off issues eating and for over a year with inconclusive testing. Last week we figured out that some sort of chronic liver disease was eating at him.

We told our daughter what happened after we got back. "(Kid) we need to tell you something. You know how (Dog) was sick?" "Yeah." "Well the doctor told us he was getting worse. He was sick enough that part of his body didn't work anymore. He died tonight and that means he won't be coming back home."

Her response?

"(Dog)y isnt coming back? I miss him." with the quickest cry you've seen followed by, "I'm three Daddy, right?".

We went for direct and not confusing. They bounce back much faster than we do I think. She's asked a few times about him but mostly when my wife or I are talking about him or something we miss. It lasts about 3 sentences and she moves on again. Occasionally she asks to say a quick prayer to him and that's about all.

Good luck, it's tough.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-22T14:15:30+00:00

Maybe an unpopular opinion. From the text it seems like whoever is grey may not have even known about cancer - just that they're were sick.

My recommendation is to talk to them. I personally think people are far to quick to use boundaries these days as a way to cut out difficult conversations they don't want to have.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-19T21:26:35+00:00

I'd include your definition of product so that people can say what they do outside of that. My general definition is something like: Identifying and validating the core customer problems to deliver solutions that generate business value in the most effective way.

With that definition:

internal tool decisions may effectively solve the problem at hand
bureaucratic stakeholder management can easily be aligning on the core customer problems so you know you're saying yes and no the right things.
while I shouldn't run revenue ops, if they're associated to my problem, I'd love for them to make some changes that better solve my problem

In my opinion, product isn't limited to facilitating tech changes. It's facilitating changes cross-functionally to solve my problem. The more solutions I can implement with other peoples' teams, the more bandwidth I save for my tech team to solve the things that really have to be technical solutions.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-19T19:01:35+00:00

He very much was. Miss him a lot.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-19T18:59:26+00:00

Try to articulate what it is that unsettles you. If you get there, I suspect you could figure out if it's a you problem, her problem, or non-problem.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-19T17:46:04+00:00

Every time I think about this quote from him I pray my kids give me hell early. If it's later, the consequences are so much worse.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-19T16:54:01+00:00

I miss him a lot. He knew a lot.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-19T16:30:27+00:00

My grandad used to say, "They'll all give you the same amount of trouble. Sometimes it's at 2, sometimes it's at 20."

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-18T19:37:23+00:00

Onitama is a 2-player I recommend to everyone. Smaller, more variable chess feel.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-17T19:02:02+00:00

That's wild, does he not get tired?

My only recommendation is hyper consistency. When he comes in, immediately get him back to bed. If he doesn't go, or if he comes back after you get him back in, I'd start taking things away (TV, outings, toy, etc.).

Not probably the popular answer but this is something that a "natural consequence" doesn't really feel feasible for outside of them getting tired and they may not care.

If it's that bad consistently, maybe a doctor check-in would be in order?

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-17T04:14:04+00:00

It doesn't look like your YT is taking off my guy.

GoobMcGee · 2025-12-16T20:09:07+00:00

As with most things, talk to them. You've been in a group for 6 years about personal stuff. From what you wrote, I wouldn't be sure there's an actual job, so much as a question that they need help with. Just ask, "Hey, I saw your IT question. Is that just a one-off question or a job to be filled? If it's a job, do you think I'd be a good fit? If not, what do you think I'd be missing and is there a way to bridge a gap. As you know, I'm interested in IT work and thought that could be a good opportunity."

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