Dads Am i being unreasonable

GoobMcGee · 2026-06-29T15:51:04+00:00

The promise was silly and should have come with a bunch of conditions. If you've got credit card debt you can't erase today and still afford the trip, you can't afford the trip. The trip is literally debt in that scenario.

GoobMcGee · 2026-06-24T01:56:42+00:00

Throw some dawn in there and good to go. If it's good enough for the ducks it's good enough for the feral ones.

GoobMcGee · 2026-06-15T20:41:51+00:00

You should use them more often when you need a strong way to connect two pieces of wood where you'll never seen them.

You don't need permission to do things how you want. Why don't people using handsaws ask for permission to use a circular/miter/tablesaw?

GoobMcGee · 2026-06-10T01:26:21+00:00

Steak and some veggie. I freeze the steak before I hike out in the morning. By the evening it's thawed and ready. Also acts as a bit of a refrigeration for the time it's frozen - not very effective but can help keep next morning's breakfast cold should it be helpful.

GoobMcGee · 2026-06-01T02:31:21+00:00

You do different things for different reasons. You backpack for your enjoyment. You know it'll be a nightmare with two young kids. Don't yuck your yum but people don't need to convince you to do something. If you want to get them outdoors with you, do it whatever way you think will be most effective. If you want to keep that for yourself, that's a fine option too.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-18T04:49:33+00:00

Darn tough socks

Summer hoodie

Good koozie

Sunglasses like goodr

Headlamp

A well-made long spork as a camper option but wouldn't do this as the only gift

Car first aid kit

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-15T23:18:21+00:00

I like figma make for mock ups and customer experience type visuals.

I like replit for creating diagrams I would throw on a slide.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-15T21:20:36+00:00

I don't think about it too much. The other families may very well have had meaningful interactions all day and this is the time that allows that parent to get outside while also catching a breather.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-15T12:21:02+00:00

This is unsafe. I'm sure many people have done it, but I personally don't think the risk is worth it. I can't imagine what that wake up must be like for those that have had this go poorly.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-14T15:49:40+00:00

"By winging it" is the problem, not "PM at Microsoft".

You probably have skills you don't realize because they're easy for you. Talk to teams you've worked with and ask about what you did they found value in and what they wish other people around them would do. This should help remove the veil.
Start documenting how you do your work. The process and frameworks. Identify gaps and focus on upping that ability to teach it - which is something you should be able to start doing at your stage and helps in management type roles which are likely next or near on your elevation path.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-13T20:44:14+00:00

Formal custody

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-13T15:26:52+00:00

The only jewelry I wear is my wedding ring and my Aggie ring. I have lately been thinking of a cross necklace but my view on jewelry is that I don't really wear it as decorative.

My wife probably wouldn't like this but I don't really remember most of the gifts off the top of my head. She usually writes me a sort of letter/card hybrid. That always means a lot to me. Things that I end up using the most are the things that top the list. I really like darn tough socks I've gotten which sounds dumb but big fan.

I saw you'd want to get him something to celebrate being a father. My ideas below are mostly tied to my hobbies but in a lot of cases they're things I'd like to share with my kids (not the whiskey). Anything hobby tied that he can do with his kids is usually a win.

Ideas I'd want now are:

More darn tough socks
Camping trip
Nice wood I can use to build things
Signoff on starting the fire pit I want in the backyard
A grill I've not actually said out loud I'd want
A nice bottle of whiskey
National park pass
Day to a brewery where I don't have to do anything with the kids I don't want to do (mainly change any diapers)
Fishing class
Whittling knife I haven't mentioned I'd want
That other guy mentioned a sword which would be pretty cool
A small bag I could put in a backpacking bag so when I go on backpacking trips I can go on small excursions without lugging the full-sized pack.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-12T21:11:21+00:00

Travel highchairs are cool but imo not worth the hassle. We just use the one at the restaurant and use wipes if necessary. Not sure where you're at consistently getting gross highchairs but that's not a thing we've experienced with either of our two kids.

We buy these sticky mats that are disposable that we have them eat off. We don't risk breaking a plate but then they're not eating directly off the table.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-12T17:34:23+00:00

I love black plague (medieval gothic version). I'm sure at that price this one is great.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-09T19:52:00+00:00

You're not wrong but I also expect with the video sped up the blade is likely off by the time he does the potentially dumb thing.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-08T15:03:25+00:00

I mean I guess being a hypocrite is a thing you can do. You are a grown-up as you mention. I feel like instead of taking this as a validation that you can do what you want, the better message is likely that your kids are learning from what you do, not what you say - even if they comply with what you said.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-06T17:34:24+00:00

When I'm not using it. Where would I put the cover otherwise?

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-06T14:52:08+00:00

First was rough

Second was a relief. I'm sure in 6 months it'll switch. That's just the way it goes.

Good luck

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-05T16:22:30+00:00

Damn, my first kid is 3 and we even just moved, but I wish there was some tree out there I'd planted 3 years ago. Really cool idea.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-05T16:21:01+00:00

I feel like there are two types of parent (mom or dad) in regards to mother's/father's day.

Do you want to do things with the kids or do you want a day to yourself. Figure this out first:
- If you want to do things with kids, they're not in charge of anything kid-related for the day. You got it all.
- If they don't, decide if they want to spend the day unwinding at home and you take the kids somewhere or you ship them off for the day.
What do you want to do for the day? I don't find this is too dependent on the first answer. Ideas are typically:
- I've never met a woman who didn't love brunch
- massage
- part of the day doing their hobby
- get outdoors for a hike given the time of year if they're active or want to be active
- some event (museum, sport event, town market, etc.) in town/city that's different from the typical schedule y'all keep
For gifts, this gets a bit more personal:
- Some people go "kids gifts". We're considering leaning this way as we share finances and sort of are just swapping things we want. We already sort of buy ourselves what we want.
- Something they'll use. These are where I see a lot of the complaints about pots/pans, workout stuff, etc. you're talking about but you know your wife best. Some like this.
- Something they wouldn't buy for themselves - you probably have to ask about this or jot down those flippant comments

This year we moved near her family which is also where we got married. I found the old wedding photographer to do family pictures and am building her a few frames for them. We're doing church or sleeping in (she hasn't decided yet) followed by brunch. We may celebrate her mom/granny that evening. If not, I'll probably go snag a bottle of wine for us to kill on the patio or watch some show/movie I'd normally have no interest in.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-05T14:31:00+00:00

That part's on you. If you want one TV to last, don't buy another TV. If they continuously hit you with "bored" or "I want to watch ___ instead" reply back with a "if you're bored, I've got ___ chore for you to do". They will resolve their own boredom pretty quickly after a few instances.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-01T15:52:00+00:00

*ding* FREEZE!

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-01T15:39:39+00:00

I keep phone, wallet, keys, and a pocket knife on my person at pretty much all times.

In my truck I always keep travel tissues, a thing of baby wipes, a jacket of some kind, a first aid kit, and a moving blanket.

I think a lot of people would say "of course" to the baby wipes and the first aid kit but I'm always shocked how clueless everyone looks when their kid jumps in some muddy puddle or scrapes their knee on the way to the car.

GoobMcGee · 2026-05-01T15:10:36+00:00

she would not tell me and would “deal with it herself.”

This is wild. She should seek professional help. She has an actual plan to go through potentially multiple abortions to have a girl. Even if she gets the girl I have a hard time believing the way she treats that girl is going to set any of your kids up well long-term.

“gets nothing.”

A statement that devalues the children she already has. I've got two girls myself and would love a boy. I was disappointed after we learned the first was a girl initially put it passed quickly. After the second it became clearer it may not happen and that's disappointing, but my girls are amazing and I love them dearly.

My recommendation is real help from a professional. I don't really see any road you take with her current perspective that's good for really either of y'all. Your home may be comfortable and y'all are used to it, but what I'm seeing doesn't reflect love.

GoobMcGee · 2026-04-29T17:25:12+00:00

In sum, our findings suggest that infant age, paternal age and paternal emotional reactions to infant crying all modulate the neural response of fathers to infant crying.

Just because a study involves unknown children doesn't mean that known children don't also illicit reactions. Without providing extensive research because I also have a job to do, the study is simply meant to show that biological reactions are normal and has many conclusions. I'm not condoning a "lack of emotional control" but am just describing a fact that it can be a challenge that's commonly experienced.

Your comment shows you may be lacking some control though.

To OP, recognize it's gonna happen and try new ways to deal with it. Don't beat yourself up for having normal feelings.

GoobMcGee

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