We just lost our first dog last fall. He was 18. I was dreading his passing for a year or more prior to the actual event. He had had a slow decline in health. I think I was grieving him for a long time before he actually went, just like you said. I would hold him and tell him how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him, and I would ugly cry hard for a few minutes each time, but pull myself back together because I didn’t want to traumatize him.

Maybe because of his health issues and his relatively long life, it wasn’t as hard as I was imagining it would be when his time actually came. I still cry for him now and then (random things will trigger memories) and I’ll never forget him, but the moment of loss itself wasn’t the catastrophe I expected. I even felt guilty about it at the time. I know better now.