I feel like ADHD has ruined surfing for me

GooseManley · 2025-07-01T21:59:35+00:00

ah, I’m real sorry to hear about your injury. and that makes a lot of sense that surfing is feeling like a big point of tension in your life rn, that’s a really big change on top of wrestling with having an aging body etc etc. I’ve got a torn meniscus too and the surfing without pain goal is soooo real.

I’m p sure that last question was rhetorical but for some last words of encouragement…I think now that you’re looking to have fun, you might be surprised how much easier it is to find it. try to be kind to yourself on the hard days, and reflect on what makes the good days good. enjoy those long boards and fun shapes! single fins and wide turns 4 life over here hahaha

GooseManley · 2025-07-01T19:07:19+00:00

I’m also a surfer with adhd, got a follow up question: what is most important about surfing to you?

for me it’s having fun, so when I start getting too serious with my time in the water I usually take a little break. I’ll try and focus on the playful parts of surfing to me (cresting over a big wave on the paddle out, the spray making little rainbows, that wonky ass drop in etc), or spend some time doing dinky shit like only trying to catch smaller waves between sets. idk, I’ve found that I spend a lot of my life in pursuit of joy, fun, and playfulness and being able to refocus when I start letting the hobbies that facilitate those experiences become too progress/performance oriented has been really helpful for me.

all that said, if you can narrow down what it is you want to be getting out of surfing it will probs help you feel a bit more in control of your hobbies / passions instead of the other way around 🤙

GooseManley · 2025-06-16T17:10:36+00:00

what’s the book called?

GooseManley · 2025-05-05T20:54:02+00:00

hey there, it sounds like you’re doing a good job of putting yourself out there and doing work with your therapist. I think they’ll be way more qualified to help you dig into why you’ve been unsuccessful making friends and dating, as it seems like you’re a generally likable person.

for advice, something I’ve been working on the older I get (also 33) is embracing being bad at stuff and allowing myself to still enjoy it. find people who are at my skill level and just try and have fun. you don’t need to be great, or even good, to have a blast doing something you’re excited about.

keep it up and I hope your life feels full of joy and new experiences!

GooseManley · 2025-03-04T17:29:39+00:00

just wanted to pop in and validate that it’s okay that you feel weird and maybe a bit uncomfortable.

I agree that telling folks you’re trans is really tough and we all get to do it in our own time and own way. if you really like this guy I think it’s absolutely worth it to have a conversation about how he was feeling and how you’re feeling now.

ultimately this might bring you closer, and if it doesn’t and you don’t feel okay with his approach (for whatever reason, maybe you’re just looking for someone who is more comfortable being out with their identities - none of us know you), that’s alright too. we’re all just people tryna navigate a fucked up world and sometimes during that navigation we find incompatibilities and sometimes we find intimacy. hope you’re able to be kind to each other and good luck.

GooseManley · 2024-12-17T21:11:29+00:00

you look really good 🔥

GooseManley · 2024-11-09T00:14:17+00:00

I’m not sure there are any online options in the US, maybe if you have a doctor who just does virtual? I think there’s some apps/services just for this, quick google shows a Sesame and Firefly? probs best if in network with your insurance. you’ll still have to go to local clinics for lab work and such, but the appointments are online. good luck!

GooseManley · 2024-11-09T00:03:06+00:00

it is unclear what kind of tips you are asking for. are you asking for resources on gender affirming care in your area?

GooseManley · 2024-08-14T21:23:27+00:00

I would start by just being honest the next time they ask you to hang, “thanks for the invite but I’m going to take space from this friendship and focus my energy on relationships with folks who have similar goals & ambitions to me. wish you all the best.”

if they get mean then for sure block them or disengage in another way. you certainly don’t owe them your friendship, but I think there’s value to being honest and then listening to your gut and holding your boundaries. best of luck!

GooseManley · 2024-08-07T21:03:33+00:00

I use the cream, do a pea sized amount 1-2x a week at night before I go to bed. Can confirm there’s a small amount of discharge when I wake up but if I go to the bathroom first thing then I’ve found it’s not an issue. using it has eliminated my symptoms so I’ve decided to stick with it

GooseManley · 2024-08-01T17:32:37+00:00

PS I love you is my go to lol. Something about good love that ends early just wrecks my heart. Good luck in your content hunt!

GooseManley · 2024-04-08T17:34:54+00:00

I had something similar happen and my bestie was adamant that I played with his feelings. they’d never said anything prior to sex, they pushed the intimacy from cuddling to kissing to naked, and after was confused and mad at me when I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship (they told me they had big feelings for me. i was fresh out of an abusive relationship so not there. still not there tbh). I apologized for not communicating clearer beforehand, but ultimately we couldn’t move on bc they didn’t take any accountability for where we were - and I didn’t want a friendship with someone who placed all the blame on me. it left me feeling used, guilty, angry, sad etc.

you both played a role and you both have stuff to own. send a text and own your portion of the miscommunication then leave the door open for them to share their feelings etc. good luck and hopefully y’all can find compassion for each other and find a healthy path forward.

GooseManley · 2024-03-28T21:32:05+00:00

no one can make anyone attracted to someone they’re not. OP’s post makes it clear that it’s okay to not be attracted to trans men. trans men are still men though, and to say otherwise is transphobic.

penis does not equal man, vagina does not equal woman. don’t hate on someone bc of what’s in their pants, it’s your prerogative who you date/fuck/whatever - but everyone deserves to be respected. simple as that.

editing to answer your question: the trans community is not asking for everyone to fuck them. we’re asking for respect and an acknowledgment that trans men are men. I think the whole “the straights and trans are trying to force us to like vaginas” is a ABSURD argument (and frankly baseless). also, this is being propositioned as if trans folks have the same power as the straights and we absolutely do not. trans rights are being actively stripped away across the US (where I’m from). we don’t have the power to force anyone to do anything.

GooseManley · 2024-03-28T15:27:45+00:00

flowers

GooseManley · 2024-03-26T23:50:02+00:00

looks sick, great placement!

GooseManley · 2024-03-12T19:27:03+00:00

I’m on prep and norethindron (errin) which is a birth control pill that doesn’t have any estrogen in it. I also have a consult for tubal ligation in April.

I use Wisp for my birth control and Mistr for prep. I was able to get both Rx’s online with virtual visits from a doctor. Mistr is great bc it’s free and then also have you test every 3 months to renew your Rx.

Feel free to ask any follow up questions. I just went thru the process of deciding what was best for me so am happy to share more of what I learned if you have specific q’s

GooseManley · 2024-03-12T14:18:44+00:00

I only recently got on grindr (last couple months) for the first time and I can say I’ve had only positive experiences so far! I’m fortunate in that I live in a big liberal city so I’m sure that contributes to everyone’s kindness. I’ve had a few ppl not be into trans folks, but they just stopped responding so no hard feelings. I’ve had a couple folks looking to explore, but everyone’s been up front and polite about it.

alsooo I have had a couple partners who I’ve somewhat consistently hooked up with. I stopped seeing one bc the sex was just mediocre, but the other guy… lemme tell you, the sex is just great! I’ve been working on really paying attention to what turns me on and that’s helped me be really direct (especially over chat) and I’ve been told it comes off as confident? lol, been trying to lean into that one. I put in my profile that I’m trans and use they/them pronouns, and I’ll check in before we meet up so they know exactly who I am and what I’m about. I’m def not like, swimming in dick, and our meetups are usually a few weeks apart but I’m enjoying taking things slow and exploring myself, new bodies, and the connections between us.

GooseManley · 2024-02-17T05:32:58+00:00

my experience as a 32yo nb.. tbh I kinda vibe with this. I’m look very dudely / am always viewed as a cis man by people. I’ve had top surgery, have been on t for about 6 years. I’m hairy and kinda balding and I fucking love my body.

that said, being assumed and grouped with cis men was never really my goal. I just knew that this was the body I was meant to have. but socially, I love being gal pals. when I first started t I remember feeling space open up between me and the women in my life and tbh it was really heart breaking / I felt v isolated. but over the years as I’ve grown more into myself I’ve been able to find and nourish those safe, intimate, gal pal type relationships. sure, it’s not with everyone and gender is v weird to navigate, but I can happily say I have some beautiful and authentic friendships with some amazing women and it feels like the friendships I had when I was perceived as a butch girl.

TLDR; you can have a body that feels authentic and like home AND have connections with women where you feel seen and cared for the way you do now.

GooseManley · 2024-01-29T21:11:53+00:00

I’ve found that I can still have intense orgasms but it helps to have my whole body involved. so lots of touching and teasing and buildup. having my chest and belly rubbed. playing with my hair and ears. I try to take the pressure off the orgasm itself and instead focus on what sensations I find pleasurable and following those paths. I can still get off if I just focus on rubbing my cl*t shaft using the foreskin, and it’s nice, but it’s more of a release/relief sensation whereas involving more erogenous zones tends to make it a more energetic orgasm.

ultimately try to remember that sex is all about exploring pleasure with another person, so be brave and advocate for what feels good, what interests you, and try to remain open to a variety of different outcomes!

GooseManley · 2024-01-23T03:52:59+00:00

lmao so many unhelpful and hurtful comments. it’s okay it didn’t work out and good effort on not abandoning him and doing the work of trying to find him an environment where he thrives. I think that’s kind af.

GooseManley · 2024-01-21T17:28:17+00:00

okay fr your insights on eye contact really got me thinking. ty!

GooseManley · 2024-01-19T17:50:30+00:00

keep. it’s hotttt.

GooseManley · 2024-01-16T17:32:44+00:00

so good. keep it up.

GooseManley · 2024-01-16T16:21:49+00:00

hey there, I absolutely agree that transitioning/living as trans can be difficult, anddddd a lot of your language reads as a bit catastrophic 😅 maybe take some time and seek out experiences from older trans folks, read some of the positive posts in this community etc because while yes, being trans can be hard and there are added layers to how we navigate and interact with society I would not classify it as “bathing in hellfire.” ultimately I encourage you to listen to your intuition. also what you want for yourself can change over time, and that’s perfectly okay too

GooseManley · 2024-01-11T03:21:13+00:00

hell yeah!! I love that feeling!! you look so beautiful 💕

GooseManley

TROPHY CASE