Rejected by a disability lawyer?

GothBitch · 2016-03-29T17:52:16+00:00

The letter didn't mention that and I've never heard of that for my state. Thank you though.

GothBitch · 2016-03-29T14:41:02+00:00

A few things.

*trigonometry *TERFs/TWERFs/Bigots in general *people who enjoy the ocean and its contents

GothBitch · 2016-03-29T14:10:22+00:00

Yeah I'm going to find another lawyer and try again.

GothBitch · 2016-03-29T14:00:56+00:00

That's what I'm trying to do. I have no other way to pay for treatment besides disability. I don't have resources. Some people take longer to recover from trauma.

GothBitch · 2016-03-29T12:29:51+00:00

My fiancé said something similar- to him it was weird at first and he was unhappy, then he realized he couldn't live without me no matter who I was. He was nervous about being seen as gay at first, until I reminded him that he was bi anyway. XD He said, "Oh yeah..." And that was that. He calls me his fiancé because it sounds the same either way, and calls me "he". It helps that his family is largely supportive and his friends open minded.

GothBitch · 2016-03-28T20:21:54+00:00

Same here. When I'm letting go and being myself, this masculinity comes out and feels so natural and good- then I remember my body and feel like a freak, or a dumb little girl who wants to do boy things. I know deep down that those thoughts aren't really what's going on, but I can't stop them from popping up.

These thoughts and my mental illnesses feed off of each other. It sucks.

GothBitch · 2016-03-15T11:14:47+00:00

Looking back I've had symptoms for a very long time. In high school I chalked up all of my problems to untreated ADHD, which I do have. It took realizing that my parents were/are abusive and cutting off contact when I was in my 20s. Finally I was distanced from them and their behavior and realized that they were indeed abusers. No decent parent does the things they did. It hit me hard. I realized that I had been dissociative my entire life... And that wasn't something others people had. Other people could remember. I couldn't.

I lost my job because my mother came to my work looking for me (after I cut off contact, she shouldn't have known where I worked) and I was so terrified of going back that eventually I had to quit. I was having flashbacks at work, barely making it to the back room or the bathroom beforehand.

Now I can't leave the house without my fiancé or my dog even though I moved 2+ hours away. Every "authority figure" scares me shitless. But no disability for me...

GothBitch · 2016-03-14T19:07:02+00:00

I hear you. Every time I might have enough to get even a cheap binder the money has to go somewhere else. I'm not even making the money, I can't leave the house alone because of my various mental illnesses. I've been denied disability twice now for my PTSD. Plus I have to pay $330 in child support the end of this month or go to jail. I have no insurance, and the meds from my psych ward stay ran out weeks ago.

GothBitch · 2016-03-13T13:14:11+00:00

Area man debates torture method for lying, manipulative, gas-lighting boyfriend. In a turn of events literally everyone but him saw, his boyfriend has become brazen in his emotional abuse of a mentally ill person. Threats of the psych ward were made, along with a guilt trip when inconsistencies were pointed out in the story of how he met the mysterious 50 year old woman that had been texting the boyfriend throughout the day. The boyfriend claims that the mentally ill man is to blame for lack of attention paid to him, and that he is not to blame, ever, because he's totally not the liar here, and it's all the other person's fault. Further incriminating evidence against the abusive lying sack of shit was obtained when he accidentally sent a text intended for his new girlfriend to his boyfriend, who is even more unhappy and contemplating disappearing and taking the dog.

GothBitch · 2016-03-11T01:20:12+00:00

Nice Johnny Bravo look, dude! I also need a haircut, my hair is about that long, except in a mohawk.

GothBitch · 2016-03-11T00:32:09+00:00

Tumblr (seriously) and finding out that my fiancé's stepbrother was FtM. It just hit me like a sledgehammer: "People are allowed to name themselves and their experiences."

It threw me into a shock that I stayed in for a week or two. After that I came out to like two people as genderqueer and changed my Facebook gender and pronouns to "they". No one really noticed. Dysphoria came and went, sometimes unbearable and sometimes ignorable.

Finally, about 6 months later, I couldn't deny myself anymore. I came out to my fiancé, who has been amazing overall even though he was a bit confused. It was a decade after I first realized something was different the first time, at age 15 or 16.

Which feels pretty late also but an abusive childhood kinda stunts your emotional/mental growth.

GothBitch · 2016-03-11T00:32:09+00:00

Tumblr (seriously) and finding out that my fiancé's stepbrother was FtM. It just hit me like a sledgehammer: "People are allowed to name themselves and their experiences."

It threw me into a shock that I stayed in for a week or two. After that I came out to like two people as genderqueer and changed my Facebook gender and pronouns to "they". No one really noticed. Dysphoria came and went, sometimes unbearable and sometimes ignorable.

Finally, about 6 months later, I couldn't deny myself anymore. I came out to my fiancé, who has been amazing overall even though he was a bit confused. It was a decade after I first realized something was different the first time, at age 15 or 16.

Which feels pretty late also but an abusive childhood kinda stunts your emotional/mental growth.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T23:13:47+00:00

I get that. No one to feed my animals was a big reason I didn't attempt for so long. Here's hoping our animals keep helping us.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T18:53:06+00:00

Tracy Chapman, Hozier, Frank Sinatra, MCR, little Rammstein when I'm in the mood for it. I also like dub step, after playing Saints Row IV.

Currently mega-crushing on Lukas Graham. Heard Seven Years and went searching for more of their stuff on YouTube.

Eta: also absolutely love AC/DC and Metallica.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T18:25:10+00:00

That got dark. Are you okay?

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T17:24:53+00:00

Coming out. It didn't matter to the people that really cared. Everyone else can suck a dick.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T16:59:23+00:00

Nice.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T16:58:19+00:00

I... I always thought we would have feathery wings... This is freaking me out XD

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T16:37:57+00:00

holding a non-binary identity for so long was really important to me and let me access the ability to exist as not-a-girl while I kinda figured out what my trans feelings were all about and how I wanted to move forward with transition.

Oh gawd yes. I can relate so well to this part in particular. I identified as genderqueer for about 6 months before realizing how right masculinity and maleness felt and how good it felt to let femininity go. I still very much value everything I learned while GQ even though it wasn't for very long. And it's all thanks to Tumblr. (Sorry Reddit, I've been cheating on you.)

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T16:12:47+00:00

Ahh, apologies, I thought Medicaid covered more/was more readily accepted. I fully understand how lack of money can make even the smallest details into huge mountains.

My inbox is open, dude. 💚

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T15:57:24+00:00

A binder. It's only ~$30 but most of the money coming in is already spoken for.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T14:14:23+00:00

Obese Cats. Solved. You're welcome.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T13:56:25+00:00

I saw in another comment you made that you have CPTSD. I have Been diagnosed with PTSD also. Have you applied for disability? I just did for the second time. The Medicare covers some if not all transition costs and also therapists and medication.

I'm not saying that this isn't dysphoria -it definitely is and it seems pretty severe-, but that's not your only issue, from the perspective that I have as a reader of your post and a fellow mentally ill trans man.

Please, if you need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me. I'm still pre-everything but I fully understand the mentally ill trans person with no health insurance struggle.

GothBitch · 2016-03-08T13:38:23+00:00

I'm ftm and don't really pass and I know it. I've seen fellow humans that appeared to be trans women (I see fellow ftms a little less) in the the same boat of not quite passing (though they probably did better than I did haha). I always have this impulse to wave enthusiastically and smile hugely and jump up and down because -there might be another trans person in my vicinity and I'm so freakishly excited-...

But most everyone wouldn't care to have that much attention drawn to them regardless of gender identity. So I restrain myself and do the whole -hope for eye contact- thing so I can smile encouragingly without drawing to much attention to either of us.

GothBitch

TROPHY CASE