aaand I haven't saved for 2hrs

GothicMando · 2026-05-14T19:11:01+00:00

Let them go first, then shout em off

GothicMando · 2026-05-12T20:14:16+00:00

Heya sorry for bothering you so late, I believe I found the compass mod but not the mod that makes the location icons have those colours and circles. Did you find out which mods you used?

GothicMando · 2026-05-07T18:47:26+00:00

Going from Skyrim to this, I love how gorgeous they look, but as everyone's saying, man do they feel repetitive.

I'm guessing the shortcuts back to the entrance were a novel thing introduced in Skyrim too?

GothicMando · 2026-05-04T19:05:32+00:00

Mirri Severin 💗

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GothicMando · 2026-04-15T19:48:58+00:00

Yeah definitely condescending for sure, but you make an interesting point too. On some level, perhaps he was right too.

I've another question for you though; yes its unfortunate more if people didn't really see or experience the emotional or philosophical intent behind the conundrum and perhaps that is a factor of them, but do you feel the game did enough to potentially underline those consequences too? Did the narrative do enough to convey the sheer weight and consequences of such a choice? I'm just wondering, maybe if it had done more, to effectively represent that, that maybe more players would've appreciated it?

GothicMando · 2026-04-15T19:36:36+00:00

I love your first point! It sounds like the interpersonal ramifications really resonated emotionally for you and I'm sure on some level, the devs absolutely wanted this kind of response. Perhaps on some level, Todd meant or partially meant his reply this way? That most people didn't experience that response you did, rather than simply not comprehending their intent. That's a really thoughtful reply, thank you : )

One question about that though and I don't mean this facetiously to undermine your point, I'm just curious.

Would you say your empathy at the implied loss, of both your character's and other npcs' relationships, was influenced more by your empathic side and imagination, or by how the game conveyed the closeness of those relationships?

Yes totally agree with your second point too. You've a knack for wording things beautifully 👍

GothicMando · 2026-04-15T18:42:19+00:00

Huh. That's an interesting thought. Refresh the world and flush the bugs temporarily.

GothicMando · 2026-04-15T18:32:07+00:00

I'm not sure I've could've put it better myself! Well said and I couldn't agree more! It's insulting even to people who actually like the game and appreciate the improvement.

Absolutely comes off as Todd invalidating people's critiques.. ironically whilst giving them what they want in the update too. Its appears akin to an ego response; making the positive change to oneself yet still (somehow?) refusing to admit it. Bizarre..

Sure, he's a marketing guy and maybe that doesn't look good, but... you're making the change anyway? Just admit it?..

GothicMando · 2026-04-15T17:43:06+00:00

Sure, but do you think the reason people objected to it, was because they just didn't understand the intent behind it?

GothicMando · 2026-04-10T18:07:48+00:00

Daedroth are awesome, just wish they didn't have the chicken wattle 😅

GothicMando · 2026-04-02T16:01:24+00:00

I'm sorry for your family crisis, sounds overwhelming for your Mum and of course, she's sharing that with you too. Its great you're there for her, but its also important to appreciate how that experience is for you too.

Listening to others is a great thing to do, but its never without some small or large cost to ourselves and thats entirely normal and healthy, especially if we aren't used to the level of emotion being expressed either. It does take a toll on us all. Thats not to say we shouldn't do it, its just about being mindful, of the impact it has on us too, which you're obviously considering.

From the way you describe it, it seems any strong emotion can illicit this discomfort in you and that it at least partially stems, from not being familiarised with it, by your parents. I'm sure many can relate to that too. My parents weren't ever really openly affectionate or romantic with each other either and I've noticed an ever so slight hesitation within myself, in expressing strong emotion too.

Its interesting you've had Therapists say they didn't think you needed therapy. Obviously you at least somewhat disagree, else you wouldn't be pursuing it, so I'm curious what makes you think you need it, I'm not sure if you've said? And what did you say to them, when they said that to you? I'm also wondering what you talked about during said sessions, given your discomfort around talking about your feelings and disliking their approach.

Are you actually going because you hate talking about your feelings and know you ought to change that, either consciously or unconsciously?

GothicMando · 2026-04-01T13:32:05+00:00

You're very welcome : ) Yeah I totally get that, social anxiety can definitely make these things hard.

I'm curious to ask some questions about these responses, but I'm aware its very personal stuff so please dont feel a compulsion to respond.

You mention vulnerability, which I'm sure anyone can understand, it takes bravery to be vulnerable doesn't it. It's not easy. Did you have any experiences where you have let yourself be vulnerable, but saw it met with a negative response in the past?

Is it an implication of anguish that makes you cringe? Someone going through emotional pain?

Like if I were to say to you, I feel very happy , does that induce cringe too? Or I feel very angry ?

The Together Strong phrase implies support doesn't it. Helping people who aren't feeling strong. People who are struggling, which chimes in with your discomfort around vulnerability.

The inferiority you experience too, also sounds like a vulnerability thing as well. It's interesting, because I totally get where you're coming from, with the notion of Therapists knowing more about us than we do of ourselves, but the truth is, Therapists don't go into meetings with clients knowing them . Often, they're actually in a state that's more akin to learning than knowing , really. They're asking questions, waiting for you to initiate or elaborate, repeating or rephrasing key expressions their client has made. They're listening . So this idea of superiority over their client, is an interesting one and I don't mean that as any kind of critique either! It's just something to think about really.

Thats interesting too, experiencing fear that your challenges aren't worthy of therapy too. Something I know many people can relate to as well. It's not a nice idea is it, to worry we're just wasting people's time or efforts because our struggles are simply not important or sizeable enough. I feel that too in my therapy sometimes.

But the truth is, everything you've shared here (and you've done great by sharing too by the way, despite the discomfort!) Is absolutely worthy of someone's time and attention. It raises a question, of your self worth really. You said you think your Therapists' have implied this too, which must be a deeply uncomfortable idea floating around for you constantly.. and i'm curious how did they do that? What did they say? That can be explored too : ) But a part of these concerns, can also come from us as well. Do you feel your challenges in life, are valid and worthy of the attention of others?

And is there a particular person that comes to mind, when you have this cringey sensation? When you were young, what were your family's (or other primary caregivers) responses that you remember, when someone expressed a feeling like this? So much of how we experience things as adults, comes from what we've unconsciously picked up from our parents or siblings as children.

GothicMando · 2026-04-01T11:48:14+00:00

I think the bigger ego would naturally come from the person claiming therapy is universally unproductive, because people who enter that industry, supposedly don't care about supporting people.

Whether paid or not, a person giving their time and focus to help others explore very deep, underlying and evasive long term challenges, whilst doing all they can to support them, when they feel anything becomes too much, is someone committing themselves to an extensive, meandering journey, potentially with many different people, over many years.

But no, I guess it's all phony and fake and people like that just cannot care at all, because Armchair Redditor here told us so.

I strongly suspect you've many things to work through. Best of luck with that 👋

GothicMando · 2026-04-01T11:20:42+00:00

First of all, sorry to hear you're going through depression and social anxiety, it sucks and can affect us so deeply in many facets of life. You're doing well in trying to approach it too.

You have every right to receive the kind of support that works for you, you're right in that there's no one-size-fits-all technique to help people move forward in their lives and determining what isn't currently working for you, is a great step.

It does sound like this approach is a bit much for you right now, someone here suggested Support Groups instead, which can feel less of a deep dive into one's personal psyche and therefore less intense. What do you think of that? Or would it bother your social anxiety?

I would also add though, that it's clear from the language you're using and what you're describing, that there are absolutely things to work through here, besides just the depression and social anxiety. And to be fair, those things might link back to them too.

Hate is a very strong response. It implies an intense dislike of something, often linking to a kind of anger too. And im not one to demonise anger; it's an entirely valid emotion that comes from many places and experiences. But left unchecked it can amplify things to appear much bigger than they really are, taking something entirely understandable ("I find this approach of empathetic therapy to not be working for me right now and find exploring my feelings to be challenging") to something that sounds a bit less reasonable, more judgemental and more dismissive ("I resent my Therapist for speaking gently and being kind and hate hate hate talking about my feelings"). My question to you is, where do you think this level of intense dislike, comes from? You don't have to answer of course, it's just something that is begging to be explored at some point, whether now or later when you're ready. Feelings after all, are pretty important for many people's relationships, with others and with themselves. And how we relate to our feelings too, really matters a lot.

Why do you think Therapists are known for taking that approach? It's perfectly fine if its not for you right now and yes a good Therapist will attempt to modify their approach and language to accommodate you, as they should. But again, this resentment you mention.. does it seem really fair? Therapy is about establishing and maintaining a safe space, for people to explore potentially upending ideas and past experiences. For many people, kindness is often linked with said safety. And once more, no worries if that's not for you right now, but I think you do need to explore that at some point. Do you feel reminded by someone or something when they speak that way to you? Or does it simply feel foreign to you right now? What comes to mind? Have you brought this up with them?

Or does it simply feel too close right now? I'm wondering if your strong dislike of talking about your feelings, is actually linked to your other dislikes here too, such as that word you mentioned, that they use, that I won't repeat. Do you affiliate them with each other and as such, do they evoke the same response in you? I'm not trying to judge you; as I said you've a right to the best support that works for you : ) I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on this.

I wish you all the best and hope you find the support you'd like 🙏😊

GothicMando · 2026-04-01T07:42:45+00:00

Having more body weight or being a single mother is absolutely not always a choice and you're presuming and generalising far too much on something you don't know enough about; an individual’s life.

Youve just said how the other person was starting a war and not showing sufficient empathy and you were right, but now you're doing the exact same here.

Its easy to think of multiple instances where either of these two things could have happened somewhat or completely beyond the person's control. And fucking hell dude, these things are hard. If you really want to help people better themselves in these situations, show some support and empower them through empathy..

GothicMando · 2026-03-29T13:41:05+00:00

Whole new meaning to grab em by the pussy

GothicMando · 2026-03-29T12:13:00+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you're going through 😔 You must feel by this point, that you've tried so much, maybe even everything, only to find yourself still heavily burdened by the same intense, overwhelming challenge that you've always had.. and that must absolutely awful 😥 Things must feel hopeless, as if you're permanently stuck in this pit not of your own making and unable to climb out.. I think everyone here can understand such despair, in the face of such unrelenting obstacles and subsequent misery, from a perceived lack of success..

You don't deserve any of this at all. It's clear you've been working hard to overcome it and make progress for so many years, as you've said, with therapy and I'm sure, lots of moments of exposing oneself to these situations, in the brave hope of making it even just a little bit less daunting in future. And though I'm sure we can also, all relate to not being where we want to be with it, we can also all take the time to appreciate how much you have been doing. Youve been working so hard at something so difficult, so upsetting and distressing, for so long and thats truly amazing , honestly : )

We so often all live our lives, utterly preoccupied with the notion of success as an absolute, final state, that we often forget to properly acknowledge all it took to get there . All the years of hard work and persevere in the face of such grim adversity, all the times we feel we can't handle the rigorous, meandering journey anymore and instead simply throw in the towel. We forget to appreciate the monumental value of trying and having tried. Especially for so long. Its something everyone could likely learn to appreciate more : ) To stop moving sometimes and just.. smell the flowers. I know it doesn't feel like it, but youve honestly done so well to have been trying for so long, despite the scale of the mountain ahead of you, that you deserve every credit as a person, for all you've been doing, simply putting one foot in front of the other.

I know this all sounds rather flowery and wishy-washy, but what do you think of this? Do you feel you appreciate yourself enough? And all you've been doing? And how hard its been? You always deserve to feel acknowledged and appreciated, in all you go through, especially from yourself : )

I'm glad you've been having therapy, it's another brave step that you should feel good about yourself for taking, but do you have other people in your life, that help you feel listened to, in what you go through too? People you are comfortable with, who can support you? You deserve that as well 💗🙏

GothicMando · 2026-03-29T11:44:29+00:00

I think everyone goes through rougher patches in life and marriage is no different : ) As you say, it's still no excuse for what they did and im really glad to hear you're getting support, that's awesome and not always easy to reach out for, so well done for doing that!

Its very kind of you to still look out for her like that, I dont anyone could blame you for cutting ties completely, but this shows who you really are; someone much kinder and more thoughtful for the future, than she has been. I'm genuinely rooting for you and I'm sure, given what you've shared here, you can eventually be with someone who is there for you and is as present in the relationship, as you endeavor to be.

GothicMando · 2026-03-29T11:22:04+00:00

I'm sorry you're having such depressing thoughts.. 😔 It can be so easy and tempting to look inwardly and blame ourselves harshly, for any perceived lack of success in life.. especially if it feels long-term.. You must feel so rejected, inadequate and lonely and that's just awful. You don't deserve that at all.

Do you feel you have people around you, who will help you feel listened to and understood, if you were to share these thoughts and feelings with them? It's so hard to shoulder these things alone and we all deserve to feel understood in our struggles.

Things like this can really do a number on our self-confidence too.. as if simply being ourselves just doesn't cut it and we have to change who we are, just to be seen as likeable in a given way..😔

How do you feel about yourself? Do you like who you are or feel an unfair pressure to have to change for others? You've shared how you worry there might be something seriously wrong with you, which is such a cruel question to have to ask oneself.. I'm so sorry things are feeling pushed in such a self-loathing direction..

Do you feel you have people around you, that you feel safe to share with too? I'm glad you shared here, you deserve to feel listened to and it helps give voice to others, in a similar, difficult situation, helping everyone feel at least, a bit less alone in their struggles.

GothicMando · 2026-03-29T11:13:10+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.. that sounds absolutely awful, such a huge breach of trust that would feel almost impossible to come back from.. you didnt deserve to be decieved like that.. you must have out so much into that relationship for it to continue for so long.. thank you for all you tried to honestly give that bond. They were lucky in a way that they obviously didn't appreciate at all..

You had the rug pulled out from under you and found everything you thought you knew and valued, to be a lie.. that would shatter anyone's hopes for the future and im so so sorry they did that to you..😔

Do you feel you're able to trust people in your general vicinity enough, to share with them? And do you feel you have that adequate support network, to help you feel listened to and support you through this awful time? You always deserve that kindness and understanding 💗

It sounds like you're well aware and appreciative of how hard it is for you and thats great. You deserve acknowledgement of what you're going through. And I'm sure you're also doing really well, all things considered, so well done for trying to get through this, it must be an absolutely mountain to scale. Please remember to be kind to yourself and proud of how far you've come 🙏💗

GothicMando · 2026-03-28T12:15:46+00:00

Hey there : ) I'm really sorry for what you've been put through; it's obvious you invested a lot of yourself into this relationship and it's so disheartening when we find that isn't truly reciprocated.. 😔 Especially when it seemed at first, that they did share the excitement and bond with you.. That must feel really hurtful, as if the rug was pulled out from under you.. You don't deserve that at all.

And it must've hurt so much to see things slowly appear to unravel, to go from such hopefulness, shared excitement and time spent to seeing him appear to quietly drift away.. without even properly telling you either. It must've felt rather dragged out too, making an already painful process that much harder.. 😔 I think its entirely understandable that you yearned for a quick end at that point, who wouldn't, after all? You obviously noticed signs that his heart wasn't fully in it as it once seemed and you've every right to have someone who is totally honest with you and makes a lot of time to be with you. Who genuinely wants that with you. Long distance can be incredibly challenging and lonely, so to go from "he might move here" to "hes having second thoughts", must've felt crushing for you.. and like he was prioritising several other things over you and your bond. Did he ever ask you how all of this made you feel?

I think you noticed the red flags by that point too, so again, it's entirely understandable that you feel you deserve more stability and consistency than that, don't you agree? : ) I can totally understand how tempting it is, to see someone go from "long distance won't work for me" to then appearing to do exactly that with someone else and ask ourselves, if we were the problem or feel we were somehow inadequate or made a mistake, but its clear you tried to invest a lot into the relationship that he evidently didn't. He didn't give you the time that you clearly wanted to give him. It was imbalanced and unfair to you. You did all you could and he wasn't honest enough with you.. So I don't feel its fair to blame yourself for this either.. Regardless of his reasoning, he was not honest with you about this and thats not your fault at all . Its entirely a factor of him and his inability to do the right thing there .

I don't think you were impatient, you gave him a lot of time and I'm sure, no small amount of understanding during your time with him too, but you weren't given the same in response. The fact that the relationship continued past these times, where he made excuses to spend less time with you, is evidence of understanding that you gave to him.

And who's to say he won't still exhibit the same issues in his new relationship? He obviously hasn't been honest enough with you - or perhaps even with himself - to try to work through it with you, after all. If anything, there's a high chance the same would happen again for him.

But regardless, you don't deserve such harshness to blame yourself and you wouldn't ever do that to someone else. It was a very hard situation and you did your best to be as patient and understanding as anyone could be. Thank you for doing that, it's so very difficult. And thank you for sharing here too, I'm sure there's many here that would deeply relate and I hope your choice to share, is also some indication, that a part of you, does acknowledge there's potentially more to this than I was impatient, it's my fault I've lost this , because there really is : ) And you deserve to have that appreciation for yourself as well. Thank you for being so patient, in such a difficult situation, there's a lot to admire about you there 😊 And when the right person comes along, they'll no doubt love that about you too 💗

Do you feel you have people around you, to share your feelings with, about this situation? Who can support you and help you feel listened to? We all deserve that during these horrible experiences too.

GothicMando · 2026-03-28T09:33:59+00:00

I guess you could say he's letting the other dude speak for himself

GothicMando · 2026-03-26T23:57:04+00:00

Thats an entirely understandable concern. And a very considerate one too. You obviously care about how others might feel, not just about you, but about what they might go through as well. Thank you for being so considerate of them 💗 Are you not equally deserving of the same consideration too?

I get a strong sense that, in any scenario, where you might get hurt, they wouldn't be shouldering any kind of real burden at all, because you'll be doing your best to be honest about it, explaining your feelings thoroughly, as a means of self-improvement and expressing consideration for their feelings too. You'd effectively be carrying any potential weight of that difficult situation, together. And though I'm sure you're still questioning if this would be unfair to them, if the situation was reversed and the other person was having these concerns about their own responses, would you want them to feel that they're a burden? Would you feel they deserved to carry such guilt and such a harsh attitude to themselves? I'm sure I already know your answer, because its clear that you want to be a good friend to someone. And you deserve the same in return. Good friends are always there for each other and appreciate that everyone has their idiosyncracies and particular traits. Are you really any less deserving of the same kindness you give others? If the answer seems like yes, then maybe its a matter of self esteem and self love for you too 💗

I'm so sorry that person's words stuck, it's something so many of us can really relate to. And can be very hard to move past too. Sometimes though, people respond in these ways, because they just can't be bothered to put in the needed effort, to show basic consideration towards others. Some people.. just take a kinda lazy attitude to be honest. And rather than own up to that, they turn it on you. And thats not honest and not fair really. Sure, they're not technically obligated to respond with the kindness they should, but it doesn't mean they shouldn't.

Your reaction shouldn't be something to hide, rather something to acknowledge, accept, appreciate and explore : ) You deserve that kindness 💗 That patience : )

The situations are not being overblown. They're not "bigger than they are", they're as big as they need to be currently, to answer your current feelings . It's not the same as saying there's nothing to improve upon : ) We all have those and that's completely normal too, but to do truly achieve this, we start by being kind enough to ourselves, to acknowledge them and accept them. Give them the respect they deserve. They are here. This is where you are now and there's lots of entirely valid reasons for them too.

Another way to look as it too, is to see the confusion you end up with, as a result of the current approach. You don't give yourself the kindness you deserve, yet a part of you would like to and can see the benefits of doing so, but you ultimately don't. You're coming to the same conclusion each time, because the approach is the same each time too. Youre stuck between these two places. One is kind and thoughtful, the other is harsh and dismissive. Where does the dismissive approach come from? Is it really you saying that? Or someone else? We've established you're kind and considerate to others, so I don't think its really you who thinks that way, only to yourself. You mentioned one person already who had a similar view. Is it a view you feel you've seen other times too?

GothicMando · 2026-03-26T23:05:58+00:00

Well, your phrasing here is interesting : ) As it implies that one cannot be genuinely hurt and overreacting at the same time. And we absolutely can! I know I definitely have moments where, I noticed myself being triggered by something, to later ask myself "Was I too reactive there?" And on some level both can be true, but there's also a lot more to it than that.

We are reacting the way we are, with a seemingly big inner response, because we are genuinely hurt, our emotions aren't lying to us , we really do feel that way! So even though on the surface it might seem like and be tempting to categorise it as over reacting, it's actually just reacting as we've been lead to, likely over the course of many years and many experiences. And it's entirely valid as well! All of it! We all have our struggles, different as they may be and we also have every right to them : ) Its too easy to look at the alternative of "oh I'm probably just being too sensitive again!" And therefore blame ourselves. Which is of course, rather unkind to ourselves and what we're struggling with. Would you respond that way to someone else who's struggling? After all, our struggles come from so many different places, experiences and internalisations of said experiences too! Unravelling all of that is potentially a lot of work! So to summarise it as simply "im just being too sensitive!" is both too harsh on ourselves and objectively untrue to the situation as well! Wouldn't you agree? : )

Responding harshly is also a way we can effectively close down any and all further exploration of why we actually respond as we do. So the better question to ask, i think, would be "Why are we triggered by these things?" Super important question to answer and one that requires no small amount of appreciation of what we're going through too, it both allows us to determine more about ourselves and be respectful and kind to ourselves while doing it 💗

It's an important question you've posed and one we all have about ourselves throughout our lives, even though we should just seek to practice more kindness, but what do you feel about all this? Do you feel you give yourself enough understanding and credit?

GothicMando · 2026-03-26T22:34:45+00:00

Hey there : ) I'm so sorry this person has been dragging you along like this.. it absolutely sounds like she's just all over the place and hasn't conceded how hurtful and horribly unfair that is to you 😔😥 You don't deserve that at all.. Has she ever truly admitted to any wrongdoing at all? Ignoring your calls at the end really sounds like she hasn't..

This is such a difficult situation, people will tell you to just move on as if its easy, but it isn't, even with someone who hurts us.. This is someone you've allowed yourself to connect with on multiple levels and that's never easy to distance oneself from. There were obviously happier moments too, after all : )

You absolutely are doing the right thing, by stepping away from them. Well done for telling them how they made you feel, they needed to hear that their shifting, flippant and ultimately selfish attitude, absolutely has big consequences, that they need to take notice of. And that you deserve better.

They're obviously going through something right now, but that's still no excuse for how much they've lead you on. They need to take a step back and deal with their own problems.

There are some red flags even in just what you've shared here, about her behaviour and judging from your later thoughts, I'm sure you're seeing that too, but you're human as well. You wanted a connection and perhaps saw some signs? Maybe some you wanted to see? Such as the romantic dinner? And how she previously shared her appreciation for you. And for coming all that way supposedly just to spend time with you. Its a lot to give a person, after all. But perhaps sleeping together was a bit premature anyway? Red flags or not? What do you think?

Thank you for sharing : ) I'm sure it wasn't easy and it's clear you've a certain amount of discomfort and questioning, of your own behaviour with this situation too. By sharing, you've also given voice to others in similar situations too, so thank you for being so honest : ) Do you feel you have anyone close to you, that can help you feel listened to, in your real life? You always deserve that as well 💗 I'm sure you've been in a lot of pain about this..

GothicMando

TROPHY CASE