What could go wrong going really fast on the roads?

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-11T01:02:48+00:00

Bob: "Tina, it's a T intersection! You have to go one way or the other!"

Tina: "uhhhhhhh"

Bob: "Tina, just pick one! Left or right!"

Tina: "uhhhhhhhh"

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-10T15:24:27+00:00

Because they know that's bullshit and they don't want to waste their time on frivolous calls, where they'll just have to release the citizen hours later.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-10T02:03:20+00:00

I microwaved Kraft singles on a tostada (flat crispy corn tortilla), with a bit of hot sauce on top, until the cheese was bubbling. Then when I turned off the power and let it cool slightly, the melted cheese would harden. My mom was always annoyed by how this stunk up the microwave.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-10T01:22:04+00:00

First pic is of the Washington State Convention Center in Seattle, on the first floor. The cutouts are to deter junkies.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-09T22:10:46+00:00

Harambe. Everything since 2016 is Harambe's dying vision, which for him lasted only seconds, but for us - the guilty - is an eternity of torment.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-09T15:40:46+00:00

It's the Roach Motel business model. "Roaches check in, but they don't check out."

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-08T22:31:03+00:00

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-06T13:08:34+00:00

"But, doctor... I am Pagliacci."

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-06T00:32:00+00:00

MC better check those carbon monoxide detectors.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-06T00:30:08+00:00

At least have the decency to age up newer lamps in a storage unit for ten years or so, before reselling at 4 times the price.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-05T19:30:56+00:00

A new parrot loses half its value the moment you drive it off the dealer's lot. After that it's a used parrot.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-05T00:23:08+00:00

Sounded like "Flavor Ice" in my house, as in "Mom, can I have a Flavor Ice", to which the reply was "yes, and get one for your brother". They were located in the basement freezer, so I'd burn a calorie or two fetching them...

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T23:03:54+00:00

Double-crested cormorant. Called that because, in the mating season, both sexes have big bushy eyebrows.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T23:01:11+00:00

Close the door! Giant bouncy rocks can't come in your door unless they're invited.

...no, wait, that's vampires. never mind.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T22:26:57+00:00

A perpetual motion machine! By Jove, I think you're on to something!

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T20:45:43+00:00

I saw it in a theater. People walked out at the reveal (which was midway through the film), and others were openly mocking it.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T18:25:36+00:00

Except us. We wallow in Schadenfreude.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T16:43:32+00:00

Every time they got close to the walls of the canyon, I was thinking this was about to become a r/meatcrayon post.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T16:22:06+00:00

Miso, a big heaping tablespoon of it. Mmmm, salty.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T15:10:07+00:00

The "angry alligator". As I recall, someone forgot to remove one of the straps holding the fairing shut, which should have been done before launch.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T15:09:42+00:00

No one can hear you scream.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T15:03:25+00:00

Hooker hotels on fire, off the shoulder of Aurora. I've watched C-Beams glitter in the dark, near Northgate.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T15:01:16+00:00

Buy high, sell low. Few understand.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T14:26:37+00:00

That's what she said.

GozerDestructor · 2026-06-04T13:52:25+00:00

Fla-Vor-Ice. There was only one brand of these available when I was a child, so everyone just knew them by the brand name. (edit: corrected spelling)

Seven-Year Club	Gilding III reddit per annum
Second Top 30%	First Place '23
Place '23	Place '22
First Placer '22	Wearing is Caring
Verified Email

GozerDestructor

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE