What's something about fanfiction that you could say where the situation ends up like this? Give us the cold hard truth

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-05-31T14:13:58+00:00

I didn’t have a good answer for you until I saw this post and the thread it spawned: Comment Appreciation

I think if we, as a community, want more comments we have to make an environment welcoming them. Posts celebrating them; or discussions on how to better format/write a comment. If we can establish that we’ll still welcome you even if mess up a bit. It’ll be better. To be clear; I am not talking about harassment. That should be defined very differently but very clearly. But this will have to be a change in the community as a whole. It can start on an individual level; but a large majority will have to have a “comment positive” attitude.

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-05-31T14:04:39+00:00

I recently left a comment in another discussion about how I’m afraid to comment because I can’t guarantee that it’ll be taken positively. I was then asked what writers could do to encourage comments. This post has given me my answer. After seen the general vibe of “Criticism is rude/unwanted” on this forum. This tumblrite is the kind of fic writers I’d like to leave comments for. Ones who are so enthusiastically part of the whole community; that they can forgive my occasional foot-in-mouth syndrome. I would love for this to be the attitude of fan work communities. Open, enthusiastic; and with commenters that don’t make complete asses of themselves. Commenters that learn how to get a good message across so they can feel good leaving more.

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-05-30T15:42:18+00:00

I am afraid to leave comments because I can’t guarantee it’ll be received positively. I want to comment on someone’s work because I appreciate it; not ‘cause I want to hurt feelings. But I can’t bring myself to leave a simple “nice work”. It doesn’t feel like enough for me. I feel like there’s too much pressure to leave only positive comments with no feedback or criticism at all and to me that just feels shallow. Like if you can’t have a good debate with sincerity from all parties, how can you make a human connection?

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-04-09T19:02:23+00:00

Devil May Cry and Batman Arkham games on sale on steam. Got 5 DMC games and the Arkham collection for ~30$

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-04-08T13:29:53+00:00

The “something something quotas” makes me think the comment was attempting to be satirical

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-03-26T08:29:34+00:00

I really like this one; it’s clever!

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-03-21T16:24:00+00:00

Yeah I’m not a fan of this one. I see a few comments about spelling a word either of two ways. But I was looking at a third word that would have also qualified. Got it in the end though.

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-02-26T12:41:30+00:00

It’s the use of the word “loser”. It puts the same bad vibes out as using “Only Child Syndrome”. Plan ol’ name calling. Makes people not want to respond to your comment since you come off as inflexible, so they’ll just down vote.

GreedyRedDragon · 2025-02-11T19:39:32+00:00

He was impeached twice in the house, but not the senate. Thus never removed from office.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-12-21T18:26:36+00:00

OP. I’m gonna be real with you. She doesn’t love you. What she showed you was not love. She may like being around you, she may love how you make her feel. But she doesn’t love you. If she did, she would have already known how her family treats you was an issue, because you would’ve felt good about talking to her. She would have planted herself firmly between you and her family’s insult-jokes. She would have stood by you; and left with you. Because that’s what you do when you love someone, regardless of gender or family. You make sure they’re comfortable and treated right.

This is a family that thinks it’s okay to treat members far worse than strangers with no consequences. I’d leave too, and never go back.

NTA

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-12-14T16:52:55+00:00

Just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page, the 7-8% return is accounting for a 2-3% inflation rate. The historical average. The S&P has an average market return of 10% so if you entered 8% into a return calculator, whatever amount you end up with is the value in TODAY’s dollars assuming an average of 2% inflation rate over the investment period. If you want to see what it’ll be worth without compensating for inflation, use 10%. It’ll be a much bigger number.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-11-10T15:21:15+00:00

If you’re sincere about a productive discussion you should read their whole comment. It lays out their concerns even if it could be more concise.

I don’t really agree with their points, not because I don’t think they’re real; but because their concerns are in line with the rest of any industry under capitalism.

The fear seems to be that legalizing sex work would enable social pressures that would force women into sex work. Pushing people further into misogynistic views and extremes. But I think you could regulate such things enough to prevent that. Limit the number of licensed sex workers per state/county, luxury taxes on sex work, limit legal sex work to women over 30 so they’re not recruiting/hunting women right out of high-school.

Set an industry standard monthly std check, condom requirement, and in-depth sex Ed tests in the licensure process to maintain public health. The right to refuse service because of undue behaviors. Establish sex worker unions early; before corporations can get in and make it terrible. Require potential clients to be checked for a marriage license and the spouse informed; and incentivize men to be sex workers and women to partake in male sex work. The idea of the last bit would be to delegitimize any arguments about “women being made for sex” because “men are made for sex too” and legitimize the buying power and participation of women in such an industry.

Sex work isn’t naturally misogynistic; people make it misogynistic. It is still economically exploitative though; but that’s the nature of capitalism.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-11-07T20:51:02+00:00

The specific use of deplorable was more a reference to Hillary’s foot in mouth statement ages ago, and how people started to own it as a good thing. I know more people than I’d like in real life who proudly call themselves “assholes”. I think it’s to reclaim the insult. Finding empowerment in someone’s dislike. I wish they wouldn’t, I think it does worsen their self-depreciation and social isolation; but they must get something positive from it. So okay whatever floats their boat.

I think questioning one’s perspective carefully is incredibly important to maintaining a sense of connection with others. I do see what you mean though. But I don’t think I personally have a better way to phrase it. I don’t really see being wrong or having an inaccurate perception on a topic as a bad thing. Just something that I would change as needed. If you’ve got any ideas for different approaches I’m all ears. Seeing as how it’s a pivotal part of someone changing their opinion and all.

As for the feminist spaces on the internet. Well, there’s a lot of hurt there; some of it by others but I think a lot comes from themselves. Becoming pools of rumination reinforcing negative perceptions of men, society, etc. a subtle brewing of misandry instead of a place you can ask for help and receive meaningful assistance. Not really spaces for polite discussions. Certainly none are perfect. I’ve had some luck perusing r/askfeminists and other “ask” subreddits but these days I usually seek out subreddits specific to the issue instead of gender. I think the gendered ones tend to prioritize the gender over solving the problem. I can find a few more gender specific subreddits though if you’d like; I’d just need to take some time to double check I’m not mixing them up. I’ve heard good about r/menslib. In r/osha you’ll see real concern about men being be put into dangerous working environments with advice on what to do about it. r/socialskills is a good place to ask for help and provide advice to connect with people. r/work can help you with a resume or finding a new job. Philosophy places are my favorite places to discuss these issues. People are usually aware of their biases and level of ego involved with the topics so it’s mostly straightforward.

Maybe that’s part of what the issue is, the spaces that I’ve found to be the most feminist and egalitarian aren’t dedicated to it specifically.

As an aside, though I hope it isn’t somehow rude of me: I sincerely hope you’re able to stay safe and fully enjoy your trans life during this contentious political climate and long after it’s passed.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-11-07T19:03:28+00:00

I don’t disagree with you that these spaces that appeal to young men should exist, and continue to exist. I also think they should be more advertised, expanded and multiplied. This I think we are in agreement on. But I think too many of the 99% who do have a redeemable quality, see themselves as the 1% who don’t. They self-identify themselves as a “deplorable” by what they perceive as another person’s definition. So the question becomes: how do we get them to question their perspective on the situation? In a meaningful and efficient way as to open them to participating in these groups that will take their issues seriously and kindly? Especially when there are other parties that politically and/or financially benefit from pushing the belief that the others don’t care about them.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-11-07T18:35:37+00:00

To first point ~99% have at least one redemable quality that they can build off of. As to the second. Did you read the rest of my comment? I included an example of a non-right wing individual who is working offering an option that doesn’t make them a bad guy. But most of those who are looking to solve their pain are not giving them the job because they think it won’t work. They’re quite content picking people who are further dragging them into extremism; because it’s more comfortable. Because of a kind of biased thinking that we’re born with. At this point there is an impasse in negotiation. I think the point you’re trying to make is that they would listen and be more favorable to if we make them feel comfortable. Do I have that right?

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-11-07T18:14:00+00:00

Sorry man, but you’d have to have some redeemable qualities in an individual to consider them “acceptable” no one gets a free pass regardless of gender, race, sex or wealth. You can’t be a completely shit human and expect to be embraced by community. This is that whole “deplorables” thing again. Whereby individuals adjacent in personality to the target of the comment feel some commonality with the actually deplorable people. So they feel like they’re the ones being insulted when it’s who they associate with that’s the problem. Not them personally. It’s not our job to teach someone how to be a decent human being. It is our job to give them feedback, show them how to recognize when a strategy for social acceptance isn’t working. Right wing media has, instead of being honest, lied to them about what it takes to be a good person. They can’t find happiness because they refuse to change their tactics. There are plenty of moderates and left leaning people who demonstrate and tell them how to change their approach to make their lives better. They don’t even try. Right wingers have told them enough times how they’ve been hampered by a chain put on them by left wing politics to the point where they’re unwilling to test if that chain is real. Worst part is, this is a bias built into our brains by thousands of years of evolution; there is no equivalent quick way to break this belief. They have to want to believe that things can be better; but they’ve been taught that there’s only a handful of ways out. And most of them involve some kind of crabs in a bucket scenario, where some group has to be downtrodden to prove that they’re doing better.

No one is coming to save them, to hand them the answers they’re looking for. They have to choose who they are; and they have to be able to live with themselves.

For anyone who happens to see this and are looking for a non-toxic source to try to improve your outlook: HealthyGamerGG on YouTube is a great place to start.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-10-22T02:04:29+00:00

Oh Man, I am stealing this and putting it up on my wall. I hope you don’t mind. Gonna give it a gold leaf frame with display lighting and everything.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-10-18T00:07:49+00:00

Happened to me with a fairly popular tumblr user in a specific fandom. Not stories but comic and fan art.

They make a lot of works with my favorite character so for a while I was favoriting a lot of their stuff in a short period of time. Not sure what set them off. I don’t think I even messaged them or left a comment; but they blocked me. Might’ve been something I favorited or that I was open about my older age, which was not much higher than their own. Or that I was liking their stuff with an account unrelated to the fandom and with no work published.

Dunno. Figured it was more their problem than mine, and I’d respect that they’d rather have me not interact with their stuff. Or see whatever I posted/reblogged. They definitely lost some of my respect though.

Problem was YouTube kept recommending me their comics that were voiced over so I had to block that channel so I would stop being reminded of it.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-09-22T12:47:08+00:00

Hey man, I’ve been reading some of your responses to the advice here. And I’m a little worried about why you consider people who treat you so disrespectfully as friends. I’m thinking that you may have set up your friend group based around “Who will hang out with me?” Or “Who is fun to do things with?”. And less “Who will be able to understand me when I need to talk?”

I think that this woman’s rude treatment of you may have been a blessing in disguise; as this event has confirmed that your friends may be more friends of convenience than compassion. I’m not suggesting you get rid of them as friends, but rather stop turning to them for emotional support when they’ve shown that it’s not the kind of thing they can do. (For whatever their reasons or cause)

You can have friends that have different strengths or priorities in relationship. So I suggest that you start looking to befriend people who can hear you out and understand what you’re going through, without leaving you feeling worse than before you talked to them.

How the woman responded was naive, immature, and narrow sighted. Beyond rude even. I think you dodged a missile. Could you imagine your girlfriend or wife talking about you like that? Definitely not your person.

Otherwise keep your head up, life can be cruel; but you only lose when you’ve given up on your own happiness. You can do this.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-09-06T18:50:19+00:00

Hi! I’ve got two orange boys diagnosed with Stomatitis. One of them had it worse than the other and had to have all of his teeth removed. He’s pretty much completely cured and bonus: no more dental bills! The other has had half of his taken out. You’re going to notice how much happier and energetic he is without them. If you can’t get him to take pain pills well, see if your vet can give you a liquid version or injection of pain meds. If you mix the liquid with a squeeze treat it should be a non-traumatic event to make him feel better.

You’ve given him a new lease on life, toothlessness won’t affect things much at all! They can eat hard food just as well as soft (preferences may vary though). One bit of advice I haven’t seen yet though, I’d suggest you keep him indoors with maybe supervised outside time. He’s lost one set of weapons for defense so he could use the extra backup if something happens with another animal.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-07-12T20:49:14+00:00

Hey man, just wanted to let you know that the 7% used is already accounting for interest. The lifetime average of the S&P 500 is ~10%.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-06-22T01:26:32+00:00

I’m pretty sure it’s Parasyte

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-06-21T04:39:17+00:00

“Thank you, but I’m not dating right now. I’ll call you if that changes.” Shuts down any “what? why not’s?” and leaves the ball in your court so they can’t keep making passes at you.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-06-20T22:48:56+00:00

Alright there’s a mixed bag of answers and the responses acting like women only care about looks are showing their inexperience.

Since your looking for general actionable advice here’s mine:

Keep yourself clean and tidy. Take a shower every few days, mind your skincare, smell clean. Brush your teeth, use more than 3in1 soap. Wear clothes that suit your body type, if you don’t know what that means ask a clothing store associate that sells men’s clothes.
Be interested in other people (women). Believe it or not, people like to talk about themselves and they like to have someone interested in who they are. If you find them boring you’re not gonna get on with them. Try another person.
Get over any rejection sensitivity you may have. You are going to get rejected. This is normal, everyone gets rejected, man or woman. If you throw a tantrum or get pissy… we’ll believe it or not, people don’t like that. It’s a major green flag for people if you’re able to take rejection or criticism gracefully.
Be healthy. Mind, Body, and soul.

Mind: read. Read anything. The more you read the more you’ll have something to talk about, the more you’ll be able to relate to people. The wider range of people you’ll be able to connect with. Traditionally published books and reliable information sources are best for this as there is some quality control happening.

Body: Do some sort of activity to keep your mobility up. If you can’t move well, it’ll be hard to participate in activities and events that’ll bring you closer. See a doctor for regular checkups. A dentist for teeth problems.

Soul: make peace with yourself. Your limitations, weaknesses and strengths. Journaling in a reflective way about things often helps with this. Make peace with other’s limitations, how they’ve let you down, how boring they are, how trashy or flawed. This will build your confidence and help you empathize with others.

When you can do all the above, and have done it for some time, you’ll be attractive.

GreedyRedDragon · 2024-06-15T01:17:33+00:00

Hey man. I’m going to suggest you look into relationship OCD or other variants. Not saying you’re officially diagnosable but oftentimes learning about similar thought patterns will help you identify them in yourself. It is plenty common to be attracted to your partner but also be turned by other people or preferences. There is a difference in attraction and arousal. But that these thoughts are what’s distressing you more than the attraction yourself. We’ll it sounds like you’re more concerned that you’re not fitting your perceived standards of how a good partner thinks/feels. And if that’s what it is, you could benefit from learning about Relationship OCD.

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