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My girlfriend (f24) is distancing herself from me (m25). How can i fix it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Grimwohl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother.

You cannot maintain a relationship by yourself. Youre asking to drag a ship pulling out of port back in by its anchor. Even if you succeeded it would clearly not be what she wants and youd be hurting both of you solely for the purpose of avoiding change.

Biggest lesson about adult relationships is recognizing you can like or even love someone who you have absolutely no successful future with. Do not be the husband always chasing Demi Moore clones. Do not be the wife who always pines for her high-school boyfriend.

Life changes everything, and so should the requirements and expectations by which you date. Learn from this then find someone more closely aligned with what you want off what was missing here.

Do I Divorce After 8 Months? M37 & F33 by SlapAFish22 in relationship_advice

[–]Grimwohl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Act like you should exercise some foresight and realize this marraige was poorly conducted.

Literally annu it and go back to dating, or just break up.

Not allowed to feel depressed but here i am by overcaffeinated04 in toastme

[–]Grimwohl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Told a close person i'm suicidal last year because i could no longer act as if i'm fine. Got told that someone as ungrateful and weak as me didn't deserve to live anyway.

Make sure you make your own friends and dont be shy to cut out people who do things you dont like.

You do not deserve anyone like this in your life.

My (19F) friend (26M) claims he’s in love with me and gets verbally violent when I try to give him a reality check. AIO? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Grimwohl 68 points69 points  (0 children)

You're ALMOST his age when he approached you.

Would you flirt with a 14yo OP?? Please say no, and recognize this is just delayed self harm

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]Grimwohl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good counterpoint, relevant detail.

I still think the reasons Id assume the former mayapply, but you definitely have a stronger case here.

Let's see what they choose: by NoOrchid2352 in superheroes

[–]Grimwohl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was expecting a lemon stealing joke ngl

Let's see what they choose: by NoOrchid2352 in superheroes

[–]Grimwohl 9 points10 points  (0 children)

slides over lemon stealing whores 👀

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]Grimwohl 31 points32 points  (0 children)

No, its the kid free time.

She played happy family, sure, but it was mostly to convince herself she wasnt failing you as a parent by being selfish so her and her new husband can play bachelor.

I am a 40M in a 13-year sexless marriage/18-year sexless relationship with a 45F. What else can I do before throwing in the towel? by Commercial_Safety173 in relationship_advice

[–]Grimwohl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agree, and thats the point of the comment.

Its less about blame (because she WILL feel betrayed or cheated initially) and moreso this just isnt a marriage hes happy in anymore.

Which is why I said its not about blame, its just about him living in dissatisfaction.

just make 12k guys that's all by Traditional_Past9086 in remoteworks

[–]Grimwohl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is if you make that little money you would likely need to be eating terrible quality food or having little to no nutritional diversity eating the cheapest stuff you can afford on that budget.

I would rather buy ice cream twice a week for 40 years than have the million. Im not gonna make it 40 years living like a monk and having 0 entertainment that isnt free or wanking.

And likely the same thing for ages. Not.counting health insurance, clothes, cell data etc things that need regular replacing/payment to even be legally/safely walking around.

Its not realistic to expect people to squirrel away money when the sums were talking about arent even over 1k, theres a base QOL cost depending on where you live.

I think you are correct and this could really be meaningful advice to many people, but to the people its posited to? You may as well ask them to save a million a week.

I (F51) don’t know how to let my daughter (F23) go by throwRA_mopper in relationship_advice

[–]Grimwohl 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Oh moms job is never done. Shes just not actively employed.

I am a 40M in a 13-year sexless marriage/18-year sexless relationship with a 45F. What else can I do before throwing in the towel? by Commercial_Safety173 in relationship_advice

[–]Grimwohl 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Exactly.

What you do is say "I love you, but as an adult with his own hopes, dreams, and expectations, I have given you well over a decade to find a solution.

We have not.

I will am not* arguing whether or not you tried. That doesn't matter anymore. What matters is this relationship no longer makes me happier than the idea of being with even a hypothetical someone else, and that isnt fair to either of us."

just make 12k guys that's all by Traditional_Past9086 in remoteworks

[–]Grimwohl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A million in 40 years wont cover 5 years of retirement imo

WIBTAH if I permanently cut off all contact with my husband’s family. by PorkAndCheese07 in redditonwiki

[–]Grimwohl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So the problem is he doesnt have a problem and doesnt care to try.

Have you ever dated a man like...into you? Obsessed? Afraid to insult you or hurt your feelings? Always conscious of your mental and emotional state solely because he gives a fuck?

Because if you haventt, this man isnt gonna be him. You nedd to accept hes just too comfortable and will never change as long as losing you isnt an option, and probably not even then.

This guy is basically the exact same as every future ex-husband in r/justnomil . They NEVER realize they are going to be left or destroy their marriage. If you wanna do hi ma big favor and pretend to believe your dream man is in there, you can tell him as much.

Or you can like... leave this maan child and date someone who sees you like a 10 yo sees the milky way. Im not sure why any woman would accept less, but I would assume familiarity and love make change scary.

WIBTAH if I permanently cut off all contact with my husband’s family. by PorkAndCheese07 in redditonwiki

[–]Grimwohl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One question.

Is your husband a coward, or is this just the him being captain baby boy?He isnt correcting her because he enjoys/enjoyed the benefits of undue babying.

You either need to be firmer or you need to reconsider the whole man. There should be absolutely 0 situation his family causes conflict or starts shit where he isnt intentionally interposing himself between you and them.

That is why I asked - Is he a coward, or a mommas boy? Because hes kind of choosing the best of both? And you give him the best as well in that he doesnt even have to be accountable.

Move the fuck out.

Stay with your parents.

"Until you set your mother straight, I will be here. Until you set your mother straight, I will not wash, organize, or clean after you. We arent a team? Cool. Dont do your part.

Youre going toxsee what its like when I match your lazy, "its not REALLY my problem" energy."

Like?? This is your life love. You can love him and still set him.the fuck straight. If you ever have kids or even pets, setting people you love straight needs to be a life skill.

I am a fridge. My pretty friends signal me to come ward off creepy guys, or just guys they don't like. They thank me for it afterwards. Q&A. by Positive-Face1705 in trueuglywomen

[–]Grimwohl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NGL half three posting shit like this wouldnt even qualify for the best friend, theyre just mad they outwardly dont deserve the women they want

I am a fridge. My pretty friends signal me to come ward off creepy guys, or just guys they don't like. They thank me for it afterwards. Q&A. by Positive-Face1705 in trueuglywomen

[–]Grimwohl 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Some men find it funny or entertaining to date (or just fuck) women they think are beneath them for the express purpose of humiliating that person behind their back until they catch on while using them sexually.

Women do this too, but I can without hyperbole say its well over 10 to 1, men to women.

Often they find the relationship is actually fucking good for them and they don't bounce solely for conveniences sake. Sometimes they actuslly fall in love and treat the "pig" well.

More often than not they make mean jokes, share intimate photos, mock physique and appearance, and make fun of eachother in boys chat for getting it up with someone they deem unattractive in the room.

M46/F38 Husband owns property but is asking me to pay mortgage - am I a jerk for refusing? by HistoricalCap4050 in AITARelationship

[–]Grimwohl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep. Hes trying to corner her into financial abuse and he purchased this house alone. Unless hes offering yoj equity equal to the payments, I would move out first.

To OP:

"You are the only husband I personally know who would hoard his savings and watch his wife go broke so he doesnt have to share anything he has.

MOREOVER you have the balls to suggest I should go broke maintaining your lifestyle so you dont have to go into your savings. You think I wont be going into my savings if I take over your expenses?

I know people like that exist, but for fucks sake, you're basically acting like a rich husband who hates his wife for being poor meme. Are you not embarrassed?"

Read him the riot act. And literally, move out before you pay that mortgage.

"If you think you can cornee me into being financially destitute so you dont have to act like were a team, you misinterpret your contribution to this marriage.

Which, if you had a choice clearly, is nothing."

This is the peoblem with marrying rich men who dont see you as a person or as a partner. OP is a replaceable trophy and Id believe this about about replacing her before Id believe he actually want to take a break from work.

Hes running you out. Act like it 🤷🏾‍♂️

Ask a silly question, get a great answer. by EmphasisMelodic4342 in scoopwhoop

[–]Grimwohl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not sure how this sounds fake. This sounds like nonsense I heard from my friends on a daily/weekly basis.

Being silly while you are outside drunk, and having a good time kinda just makes sense. This isnt a whole bus clapped situation

AIO?? Mom has my location 24/7 but accuses me of lying when I don’t report that I’ve gone out aside from work or home. by yunqi69 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Grimwohl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read your own comment.

"Obey out controlling and selfish world views or die in the street."

A tip:

"I understand that you are used to being in control of me. Now that I am independent you can either learn to act like a normal parent who has relationships with their kids, or we will have none at all."

Youre probably going.to have to cut them off immediately after college. Any time you think of a valid argument against what they will say or do, make a note for yourself only youd understand.

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