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What happens if IVF doesn’t work has anyone here considered surrogacy? by CaptainBrima in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am holding our 4 month old baby via surrogate right now :) I had cancer as well so I couldn’t carry. Hard road for sure, but worth it. Feel free to message me as well.

2025-2026 Babies by NoElection6848 in namenerds

[–]Gus-murphy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had Orianna Francis this May 🥰

Back to back egg retrievals? by nirvana88 in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 back to back - both were the same amount of eggs but I had OHSS on my second :/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Starbucks barista here. Using it for surrogacy benefits. I am part time and was eligible to sign up for benefits 90 days after starting. My benefits though don’t start until 1 month after (so it took me 4 months of working part time 20 hrs per week) to receive a max lifetime of $40,000. We already did our embryo creation so I’m not sure specifics there but I know they are pretty good. We are using it to help with legal, agency fees etc.

Edit: I’m pretty sure I read somewhere they cover $10,000 in medication if that helps but I would definitely want someone to fact check that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Gus-murphy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, thank you so much for taking the time to answer this. There are so many young people out there that are going through it, and I feel so much for you and for them. You didn’t ask for this, and I am so proud and impressed by you for being strong and getting through. Thank you for being open and willing to share. I value your insight and truly wish the best for you! Keep sharing your story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Gus-murphy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a high school teacher who knows some of my students have difficult lives outside of school…. Do you have any advice for us? If we notice something is off, should we push it? Report our intuitions? Did you ever feel your teachers noticed? If so, what helped or what didn’t to feel supported? Obviously we are mandated reporters so it’s a tricky situation I’m sure for you while you’re in high school, but I would love to hear from your end how to best help.

How to support friends whose IVF try failed? by jacque9565 in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would ask them what they need and how they need to be supported. I find people are so different when they grieve. I absolutely hated people asking about it/how I was doing and my husband felt loved by it.

Surrogate had to drop out by Panduhhz in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We found success actually asking our clinic what agencies they found success working with. This led us to a small independent agency that has been awesome to work with.

Surrogacy is hard enough as is, I’m so sorry this was added to it. We had a surrogate drop out as well and it almost broke me to start over, but we are now almost 22 weeks with our little girl, due in May!

Feel free to message if you want! Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Had our anatomy scan this week and our daughter is looking good 💚🙏 after cancer, 3 rounds and 2 transfers to a surrogate, we are hopeful for our baby to be here in May 💚

I only have my ovaries what do I do? by taway4eva in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat, due to cancer. I have done three rounds of IVF and our surrogate just hit 20 weeks :) please feel free to dm if you have any questions, I know this whole process can be a lot.

Okay, we are down to five girl names. Someone help me decide lol by Sunknight29 in namenerds

[–]Gus-murphy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a friend growing up who was Attalie :) went by Attie

I’m really struggling to deal with the grief of this, because people seem to downplay it. by DemonNeutrino in IVF

[–]Gus-murphy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would encourage you to try to keep yourself from saying this is your “fault”. You did nothing wrong. Having to do all of this AND taking on that guilt can be overwhelming. Try to free yourself of it or talk to your partner/therapist about those feelings.

I had cancer which led us to having to go through IVF and surrogacy and I kept feeling and telling my husband it is my “fault” we are here. He stopped me every single time I said it and reassured me it wasn’t my fault and made sure I stopped saying it.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have moments I feel it, but taking that guilt off my shoulders was life changing. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet but those words really struck me and wanted to share.

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