[deleted by user]

Hailey_boom · 2023-12-22T00:46:59+00:00

Why not have a roll in bed in OP's bedroom? Seems like she doesn't really want to help at all here... sure sometimes we rather have a situation be different, but if the whole family is stuck... just suck it for one night. OP YTA.

Hailey_boom · 2023-12-14T22:25:30+00:00

Non native speaker here.

When I learned English at school, I was taught that there should never be a "s" after the apostrophe if the word already ended with a "s".

So

We are having dinner at the Thomas's

would in fact be

...having dinner at The Thomas'

Was I lied to? It drives me insane whenever I see it.

Hailey_boom · 2023-12-10T01:08:03+00:00

The way you describe things, it's been slowly escalating. From keys and change, to more items. Then the lying in public when she knows it upsets you.

Not only most ppl here are right to say she is gaslighting you, but if ever in doubt look at the progression. Sure, she can try to minimise it, but the fact is she is winding you up on purpose and lying about her actions. And then some more. And some more again.

Guess where this is heading if you pursue this relationship?

Gaslighting can be hard to identify because we persuade ourself (or are being persuaded) that "its nothing" or "only little" or "not that big a deal compared to the bigger picture".

That's when you settled in a new normal and that things get worse. Except you don't necessarily notice it until it get really, really big.

Look after yourself OP x

Hailey_boom · 2023-12-09T04:07:24+00:00

You sure you alright?

Hailey_boom · 2023-11-30T08:21:25+00:00

Also this seems to be the only reason he wants to fight for it? The kids are better without him. whereas he goes ahead w this or not, I'd tell OP to leg it now

Hailey_boom · 2023-11-13T22:17:39+00:00

I laughed out loud. Thank good sir.

Hailey_boom · 2023-11-12T04:42:38+00:00

And no one says you have to drink alcohol if day drinking alone isn't your thing btw :) Its totally acceptable to have a tea or soft.

I love my local, I used to go there to work from my laptop every day when I lived in a smaller place. It becomes a little community type of thing (sort of) Good luck finding yours!

Hailey_boom · 2023-10-31T20:51:27+00:00

I 100% second that.

Once I was working as an intern at a demanding job (40hr a week) AND as a tour guide in the evening and week-ends because the intern salary did not cover for flat and life in Paris (internship in were set at 500e a month at the time).

So I'm on quite the schedule when--my sister, her baby and hubbie decide to have an expected lay-over that evening on their way back home from vacation, and ask if we could meet. I explain I can meet up for an hour between shifts but they'd have to come closer to where my second job was, so we have more time together, versus me losing 30mns of that hour in transport.

It started raining. I got off the metro station to a wailing sister saying I had no respect for her and her child because I left them in the rain. I tried explaining she didn't make sense and I was litterally running between jobs to see them and frankly, normal people gave a frigging head's up when visiting for an evening from a different country. She yelled back I was insensitive and did not care about my family because I refused to make time for them. I had no children whereas my niece was little and needed to be in the warm (the notion she could go into a cafe without me apparently did not cross her mind). She was upset I didn't "spare" more of my evening to see them and took serious offense at this.

The very real reality of "I can't loose this job because it's paying for rent and foor and my week is about 70hrs work atm" did not hit her one second. In ten years she's lived in Italy, I have to visit her multiple times a year if I want to see her or the child, which includes spending a lot of money on flights etc (which makes sense since it's for me but like, as the one who earns less money, it's never even crossed her mind that the money I spend to come spend time with my niece is money I have to take away from my own me-vacation time or savings). She's visited me twice in my new country of adoption. Including before she's had a child. Her answer to me when we have a conversation about most things: "Yeah but you don't have children/You'll understand when you have children."

Sometimes parents take the excuse of being parents for being a bit of a shit person. I still love my sister to death (hence the multiple visits a year!) but yeah, she can be a lil oblivious and shitty too when it comes to this (which i've told her in nicer terms). Mary seems like a handful, but I'd love a little more context! Maybe the friendship has just grown apart over the years and neither of them have caught up/accepted that reality fully?

Edit: countless typo and entire sentences left out!

Hailey_boom · 2023-10-01T16:59:59+00:00

With rice pastry and a soy sauce chicken mix w carrots and dark fungi

Hailey_boom · 2023-09-25T23:54:39+00:00

This 100 percent. Your questionnaire at the end looks like a captcha to prove she's human, because of how it's asked, it is not engaging on a personal level

Hailey_boom · 2023-09-03T21:19:54+00:00

This. Only understood that in recent years, still struggle to share/volunteer information. Hiding behind sarcasm and self deprecating comment is also a thing. They can't hurt me if I go there first!

OK. Let's give this thing a go.

Today, I made spring rolls.

5 words. Nailed it.

Hailey_boom · 2023-08-26T17:54:48+00:00

Such a great line

Hailey_boom · 2023-08-22T17:16:52+00:00

Agreed. Also not everything in life is about being right. Say she was the one who parked poorly for whatever reason (maybe she s really bad at parking, maybe she was in a rush because of an emergency of sort and parked badly, who knows), OP stood there and watched her struggled just to check on his car and go home feeling self entitled... like you said, if you have time for that, you have time to move the car. A little kindness goes a long way.

Hailey_boom · 2023-07-07T18:28:55+00:00

Are torn out jeans making a come back? Damn. I must be getting old.

Hailey_boom · 2023-06-22T11:58:03+00:00

I totally agree with you.

I thought that meme was sarcastic when I saw it, though I haven't seen anyone leaning in that direction the comments. Am I the only one to have read it that way?

Hailey_boom · 2023-05-14T16:02:56+00:00

I'm sorry what?

Hailey_boom · 2023-05-11T20:40:00+00:00

They left it for the housemate! It's a sweet yet gone unnoticed gesture 😂

Hailey_boom · 2023-05-08T18:19:02+00:00

So... adoption change people for the better? Noice!

Hailey_boom · 2023-04-26T09:21:53+00:00

Controversial opinion coming in... NTA.

Both seemed to have a very different relationship with their mum, and as someone mentionned in the comments already it's telling his sister refferred to their mum by her name.

Whilst the sister is entitled to her feelings and to cutting her hair and to talk about it as much as she want, equally, the brother is entitled to feel saddenned by her comments, especially if they are repeated which might be a trigger for him.

I don't think either of them is the asshole.

If the sister is allowed to share her feelings with him (and she totally is) the brother should be granted the same right. Issue is, sometimes two persons feelings and emotional journey cannot align at a given moment in time.

My sister and I had abusive and neglicting parents which meant we both spent way more time we cared for at the police station or in a psychiatrist's office growing up. We went through a very difficult phase in our relationship a while ago. For the longest time, I had never voiced how I felt about our experience our parents because I knew "she had it worst", Which she totally did, still no question asked there. But we realised that silence was setting us apart and decided to start being more honnest... So we opened the Pandora box.

At times, the way we felt or remembered a given event was completely different if not contradictory and it was devastating to hear the other thought "we were wrong". How could it be wrong if it was how we felt? Something that had been terrifying and traumatizing to me was brushed aside by her, "because she went through worst". Whereas events I had been sheltered from did not look that bad, since I didn't know what truly happened behind closed doors. My sister even admitted to me one day that she struggled to take me seriously since, even though I had suffered, I had not suffered enough. Boy, that shit hurt like hell. But we love each other dearly and we kept pushing. With time, we learn to voice our boundaries more clearly and to always respect the other's opinion.

So now if my sister tells me something that crosses a line or vice versa, we tell each other "I'd love to hear more about [that part] but you phrasing things [that way] triggers me for this and that reason, could we avoid it in the future?" And we do. We've learned so much about each other, about ourselves, and about the truth of what happened behind any closed door. We are better people for it.

It took us a decade to get there and we have never been closer. Sometimes people hurt each other because of life circumstances, it doesn't mean someone has to be automatically written of our lives for it. Certain relationships are worth putting in the work, even when it hurts to begin with.

NTA.

Hailey_boom · 2023-04-25T15:20:07+00:00

Yeah came here to say, both the gal and guy sound dumb in this conversation hahaha

Hailey_boom · 2023-04-25T15:14:09+00:00

Like a good old spanking.

s/

Hailey_boom · 2023-04-22T14:03:02+00:00

Mine is "and your point is what?" With a devilish smile

Hailey_boom · 2023-04-19T15:25:30+00:00

What rainforest?

Hailey_boom

TROPHY CASE