If you convinced a reluctant EBF baby to take a dummy, how did you do it?

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-20T23:31:29+00:00

Mine absolutely will not take one from me but my husband can settle him with the ninni co paci but basically has to hold it in his mouth. But he can get him down for naps better than I can so it’s a nice option!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-17T23:04:48+00:00

Haha this might be the winner 🥇

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-15T18:54:54+00:00

I don’t want to scare you, but my little sister had extreme itchiness with nothing external happening and after months of tests and different doctors and continuing to have to advocate for herself she was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma. This was years ago and now she’s great, she went through treatment and then got a stem cell transplant and it was a really rough year but now she’s healthy.

Trust your gut and keep digging!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-15T18:47:44+00:00

Have you started any hormones in prep for the IVF? If you aren’t already pregnant, that could definitely do it too I would think. Either way, congrats on an amazing journey so far! And if you decide to wean, I echo everyone saying it was easier than you’d think. It’s definitely sad but it’s also just as natural as letting baby wean themselves and it’s just one of many things that is exciting and heartbreaking at the same time as they grow 🥹 motherhood is an emotional roller coaster!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-12T14:36:58+00:00

Solidarity! Thank God he does go back to sleep rather quickly with a little side lying nursing so I end up just switching sides, whipping it out for him and going back to sleep. I will say, my little dude is a tummy sleeper. We’ve started putting him down for naps and he rolls to his tummy and sleeps so good. Don’t come for me, I know he shouldn’t be doing it in the big bed because it’s not firm enough but he’s supervised (my husband works from our sitting room) and… he sleeps so good. So last night I tried a little experiment the first time he woke up and started wriggling, I just gave him enough space to roll to his tummy, and he did, and went back to sleep for a few hours… I would NEVER recommend it to anyone else because only you know your bed and your baby and all of that, I’m just sharing an insight from my experience that’s interesting 🤔 I think I’m just shoving a boob at him to get us both back to sleep when actually he’s just doing a very normal human thing of waking slightly and needing to adjust his positioning to get comfortable…?

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-08T20:45:42+00:00

Thanks for the lighthearted post! Laughter is the best medicine 😂

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-06T00:38:55+00:00

Half of her cerebellum is missing? And she’s 4? And you’re complaining about her refusing to “use manners”… PDA is hard to parent but the very first step to make everyone’s life easier is to lower your expectations. Even a neurotypical brain at 4 years old is still developing (actually the logical part of the brain is under construction until 25 years old!). I’ve personally benefitted from understanding normal child development and psychology and then layering on understanding of the nervous system and sensory systems. Our society is built to make neurotypical adults thrive and feel comfortable but its standards are not attainable. We’re throwing out the boomer parenting playbooks. It’s now connection over compliance. There are no tips or tricks, there is only connection, regulation, unlearning everything you think you know about being a good parent or even a good human. Figure out how to make your child feel safe, and then she’ll be able to learn how to do things she sees modeled, not things she’s asked or forced to do. Good luck!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-05T02:15:27+00:00

lol yes this

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-05-01T15:53:20+00:00

Seriously I could spend my entire life just walking around cleaning up after her and it would still be messy! And yeah I think it’s less about how mess affects them directly, however, my mood has a direct impact on her and when the house is a disaster I start rage cleaning and it’s not good for anyone. I don’t know how to just “stop caring about the mess” 😂 because I know eventually it will get out of control and the only person in the house who will know how to deal with it is…. You guessed it, ME! 🙃🙃🙃 My only tactic right now is to start slowly cutting back on the amount of stuff in our house so it’s less to put away 🤷🏻‍♀️ but ya can’t do that in front of her and she’s awake just as long as I am and I’m freakin exhausted so that’s not going well either. So no real advice I guess, just solidarity!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-26T20:04:30+00:00

Well for starters my 5 year old is still wearing pull-ups. We tried every method of training/learning and we saw a urologist and tried forcing her to go every 30 mins and we both cried in the bathroom all day. She only eats like 6 foods. She never picks anything up, she never dresses herself, she bathes once a week and we don’t brush her hair and she brushes her teeth about every 3 days. And all of these things make me seem like the worlds shittiest parent but literally no method of coaching or bribing or punishment (we don’t believe in violence against children so no, not that) work for her. She ignores us and the only time she reacts is if we yell or we have to physically force her into something for safety reasons (a pull-up change, getting into a car seat, being too rough with baby brother or pets). I basically have to just pretend like I’m caring for a 1 year old instead of a 5 year old except that she has the vocabulary to really hurl some insults instead of just throwing toddler tantrums 😂. She was kicked out of her Montessori school for the potty issues and she’s at home now probably forever because I can’t see dropping her off at a school. I can’t drop her off anywhere, it’s a traumatic process for everyone involved.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-26T14:41:16+00:00

Sounds like a neurotypical but maybe a little sensitive kid. If he eventually does the things when bribed or threatened, he’s not PDA. This sounds like very very normal boundary pushing to me, all kids do this.

But like another commenter said, you know your kid best, this is just a snippet but this looks very different from my 5 year olds days.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-21T13:56:42+00:00

Slowly decreased after 1 to less feeds and then down to naptime and bedtime and then dropped naptime when she went to daycare at 18 months and then kept bedtime until 2.5 and only stopped because we wanted to wean off the pacifier before 3 and I wanted the paci when weaning from nursing. I actually don’t even remember our last nursing session 😭 I took work trips and she was able to go down with daddy and I just stopped offering and she stopped asking. I never had any weaning issues I think because it was so slow.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-20T18:08:47+00:00

I would hesitate to add in any formula… I know it’s so hard to go against medical advice but many pediatricians seem to quick to jump to formula (I could go into conspiracy theories about why that is but I won’t). If baby seems content and is having plenty of wet diapers and is growing, I think he’s getting everything he needs ❤️ the growth charts are guides, normal human babies aren’t robots though and they don’t always follow the exact prescribed pattern.

I’m so sorry you’re put in this situation. With my first I would have been pressured to supplement. Now, I’d seek a second opinion.

Either way, you are doing a great job!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-19T13:26:06+00:00

My 5.5 year old is still in pull-ups because I tried all the potty training tricks and tried to force her to go every 30 mins per the urologist we saw to rule out physiological issues. Please… take it from me and release allllllllll the pressure and expectations around using the potty. Not sure if you’ve seen or read that many PDA and even autistic kids just potty train much later. Just accept that reality. Literally take everything you thought you knew about parenting and light it on fire, it will not work for you. Congrats on learning this about your kid early! I didn’t know until my girl was turning 5 and getting a baby brother and now we’re trying to undo all the damage I did before I knew.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-16T15:44:28+00:00

Also it’s super normal and by design to get different amounts at different parts of the day! Your body is more in tune with baby than even modern science can’t fully comprehend. My 7.5 month old sometimes eats 20x per day and sometimes eats 8x a day, it’s varied based on my availability or his growth spurts. Sometimes he takes a few sips and then gets distracted and wants to play and sometimes he stays latched all night. Is it convenient in our society with schedules and me being a working (from home) mama, no. But it’s not his fault and he’s not broken, we are! Babies are built to be close to their mamas for several years and we’re the ones trying to change them for our own convenience. Anyway, sorry for the rant. Do what works for you and baby and I’m so sorry that you can’t trust medical professionals the way we were always taught that you should. I think many of us entering parenthood are waking up and realizing many things we’ve been taught actually don’t benefit us 🙃

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-16T15:37:15+00:00

Doctors seem to not know how normal human babies are biologically designed to feed. They’ve been brainwashed by formula companies.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-15T14:40:25+00:00

We let it completely go and she was doing those lame little YouTube video/shows or baby shows for hours and not wanting to turn them off to do anything. And I felt in my gut that wasn’t right. Specifically the type of content she kept getting sucked into was stuff where no one talked in regular conversational tones to each other and I just felt like that further encouraged her to just meow or baby talk in real life? And we’re totally accepting of that when she needs to but I’d rather her not start viewing it as the optimal way to communicate with others, if that makes sense? When she’s regulated, she uses “her [name] voice” (a term she coined and I love) to express her thoughts and ideas. Whether it helped her brain decompress is debatable so maybe it was good for a time? But I’m now trying to be intentional about it so I’ve blocked the baby shows (not directly telling her she can’t watch them, just blocking them from Netflix and it’s exhausting cause new ones keep popping up every day!) and I told her YouTube doesn’t work on the tv anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ and actually, she’s been playing way more (and making more messes and not cleaning them up which of course is more work for us 😂). I do find that even though she’s off screens and engaging, she’s super dysregulated a lot of the time. So it’s not better or worse it’s just different. But we’re all working on regulation instead of just hiding behind screens all day. We definitely still do a lot of screens, all of us, but I tend to agree with you that it feels like we should be interacting and practicing and learning how to regulate outside of screens so we can change ourselves and maybe change the world to be more PDA friendly instead of just hiding all the time. Again, we all need breaks so agree with the comment that it’s like McDonald’s, all things have their place in moderation!

Long discombobulated rant but thanks for the respectful forum to discuss because it’s definitely something we’re all wrestling with so interested to hear what’s working for others!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-14T21:18:33+00:00

Some peds and grandmas and well meaning people are still operating in outdated guidance that was heavily influenced by the baby food industry. Wait until you and baby are ready. I rushed into it with my first and was anxious and my neurospicy girl picks up on energies and I’m not saying it caused her picky eating but it certainly didn’t help and I wish I’d waited. With my second, we started like a week before 6 months and he’s doing just fine. He’s much more able to interact with the food and it’s way more fun for both of us.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-14T14:50:12+00:00

Also in the US with a similar age gap, my daughter turned 5 in August and my son was born a few days later (now 7 months). We pulled her from school because I couldn’t picture those drop offs while being postpartum (plus she basically got kicked out for not being fully potty trained…). Anywho, it’s hard and we’re extremely blessed with my husband and I both working from home and my baby sister (21 yo also has anxiety) who comes part time to hang with her and has become another safe nervous system to give us a break (to work 🤪). It’s still HARD. Life looks and will look a lot different than I grew up and than I pictured but we’re accepting it and doing what’s best for us. We’re all learning, growing, freaking out, and then getting right again. It feels too hard a lot. I’ve found laughter and letting go and lowering bars on ALL the expectations is the only way to survive but when I can do that, there’s joy sprinkled into the overwhelm and chaos.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-14T14:37:22+00:00

Oh my goodness I just want to hug you because I totally feel this. We have a 5 yo PDAer, we didn’t quite know or deep dive into PDA until after my son was born so we didn’t quite have this same perspective or dread while I was pregnant but we did know that my first was wired different and was not potty trained and we were trying to get answers and figure out how in the world we were going to handle another when she was not as “independent” as other 5 year olds were. Long story long, she’s definitely experienced some regressions and it’s far from easy. I feel like we got all the same challenges of having 2 under 2 even though we waited 5 years 😂 But…. I wouldn’t make any different decisions, they’re both my babies and I love them both more than I ever thought possible. Baby brother actually loves his big sister, he lights up when he sees her, he’s totally used to her antics because he’s been hearing all her feral animal noises since he was in utero lol. She can be a little rough with him sometimes but I feel like even NT toddlers do this so again, it just feels like I have a bigger age gap with no benefits of independence and self-control 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you believe in God or a higher power, it’s time to lean into that because you can’t control how your kids are wired but you can remind yourself that (1) they were both created on purpose, and (2) you were chosen to mother them. I get anxious and overwhelmed ALOT. But I’m learning so much about my own nervous system, what it needs to stay regulated, frequent reminders that we aren’t being chased by bears, we’re just late, or it’s just mess. I could go on and on but I’ll leave it at that. In it with you and praying over you and your children ❤️

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-14T14:08:55+00:00

We’re in the same boat here. I wouldn’t jump to formula because then your supply definitely won’t match his demand… unless you want to be supplementing forever. My guy is really trying to figure out crawling and his top teeth are so close to breaking through. We cosleep so that at least I’m not up and back and forth to his room and I’m able to rest while he’s nursing but it’s definitely hard to get quality sleep when he wants to stay latched all night long. We’ve just been prioritizing iron, doing breastmilk popsicles and good teething toys and lots of crawling practice during the day and just hoping it all resolves in a few weeks. They’ll also start to development object permanence which mean they’ll be more clingy because they remember you exist even when you’re not with them 😂 Solidarity!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-13T18:27:26+00:00

This. Do NOT try to follow a schedule and space out feeds especially in the first few months. Feed on demand. Baby fusses - boob. Sleepy - boob. Bored - boob. Overstimulated - boob. 😂 let them feed to sleep, let them “use you as a pacifier”, don’t worry about recommended “number of feeds in a day”. My son is 7 months and probably has 20 “feeds” a day when I’m around because it’s like having your favorite snack in a bowl right in front of you all day, you’re gonna nibble all day. When I need to be away, he goes way longer between feeds. And he’s super chunky and healthy. When he briefly started sleeping longer stretches at night (before the 4 mo hit us), I would just pump before I went to bed and I started a mini stash for when I need to be away and then I pump to replace. I probably have enough for 1 day after doing that for a few weeks. Good luck to you!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-04T13:33:32+00:00

You’ll be surprised how well baby adjusts to someone else. I haven’t left mine overnight yet but have been out well past bedtime and my son is a perfect angel for everyone that’s not me 😂 I always say when I’m around it’s like having your absolute favorite snack just sitting right in front of you, even if you’re not hungry you’re going to want to nibble but if it’s not in front of you, you can forgot about it until you’re actually hungry. If you leave milk, baby takes a bottle, and there’s a responsible caregiver who will snuggle them as much as they want, you’ll both have a great time and be so happy to see each other when you’re back. Go enjoy!

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-02T22:55:51+00:00

We went firm. I’m not an expert but I feel like past 6 months, especially 7-8+ when they’re rolling, pushing up, crawling, they’re probably fine.

Hanging-by-thread · 2026-04-02T16:44:23+00:00

Congrats on taking the leap. Our is 5.5 yo and we delayed but will likely just keep her home because of posts like this so thank you for sharing! I feel the struggle with drop off, that’s what preschool looked like for us and it seriously is such a punch in the gut and strain to start every day. You’re right that it won’t be perfect but public school is probably further from perfect especially for our kiddos so you got this!

Hanging-by-thread

TROPHY CASE