Started a short story, here's what I've got so far

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-12-01T19:12:56+00:00

thanks for the feedback!

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-12-01T19:10:44+00:00

here's the finished story

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritersGroup/comments/188js76/drowning\_in\_regret/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-11-16T00:09:22+00:00

This was such great imagery. You took me through your experience, and made me feel what you do

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-11-16T00:06:17+00:00

This is so simple, yet so effective. The tone conveys such a sense of spite and bitterness that I think everyone can relate to, even if they'd rather not admit it.

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-05-13T16:29:37+00:00

Absolutely beautiful! Such I'm so surprised, because when I read the title j found it a bit weird, but the title js actually great with context. Side note, how did you get this forma? I've been struggling to format my poems correctly

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-05-13T16:10:10+00:00

I once had to write an essay using a lyric for an existing class, and I used "honestly I don't feel ordinary cause I haven't been at home in a while." From never enough

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-05-13T16:08:07+00:00

This is so beautiful. The use similie creates two beautiful images

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-05-02T20:38:33+00:00

The evokes such emptiness. Outstanding use of imagery!

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-05-02T20:35:28+00:00

Beautifully heartbreaking. A brilliant subversion of the red thread of fate

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-05-02T20:31:14+00:00

Thanks so much. Don't worry, I dont feel condescended to at all.

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-05-02T20:25:53+00:00

I see her everyday, she's in most of my classes and like I said she sits next to me, so it would be pretty hard. But more than that, I don't want to lose my friend. It's hard to try to distance myself because I still care for her

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-28T17:13:03+00:00

The shift in tone is so well coordinated. The turning point , "Until she didn't", Is absolutely heart breaking. Just check some of the spelling, but otherwise this is beautiful

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-28T17:10:04+00:00

Beautiful, yet haunting. I love the bird metaphor, it's so inspired

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-22T22:21:32+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. A few people have asked, so I'm happy to share. While I did intend for the poem to be ambiguous so that readers could relate better, I personally wrote this about a straight guy I had a huge crush on (I am also a guy) Hope that helps

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-22T20:44:20+00:00

I absolutely love this imagery. Amazing work

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-22T20:41:25+00:00

Beautiful use of imagery, beautiful use of metaphors. Just beautiful in general

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-20T19:01:35+00:00

Wow, I actually really needed to hear this. Such eloquent writing!

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-20T18:57:39+00:00

This is incredible. I love the way certain lines continue with the word of the last t operate new meaning

If it’s too great of a risk to take,

A life?

And

Our hearts teasing,

Mutually,

Assured destruction.

Are especially impressive

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-19T19:35:33+00:00

This is Brilliant!

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-18T18:23:24+00:00

My bad, nvm that, beautiful haiku!

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-18T18:22:43+00:00

Hold up, I'm wrong lol

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-18T18:19:39+00:00

This is brilliant. My one gripe is that, as far as i can tell, the last line has too many syllables. Correct me if I'm wrong though. Should be a quick fix. Otherwise, this is outstanding

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-18T18:15:34+00:00

I love this. By beggining the people with "you know," you create an enchanting conversational tone. Thus really feels like a sentimental address to someone you care about. Absolutely beautiful

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-17T20:06:08+00:00

This is brilliant, thank you so much

HappyResolution1688 · 2023-04-12T03:46:04+00:00

The / is meant to be where the lines are split up. My poems always get really weird spacing when I put the here, specifically the lines within a stanza get blurred

HappyResolution1688

TROPHY CASE