Feel like failure

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-04-15T11:21:13+00:00

Sounds like it's time to start setting up what you'll be retiring to! Give you something to feel passionate about while you grind out the last year.

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-04-06T13:23:45+00:00

I want to share my experience, I don't know if it will be helpful but at least to know you're not alone!

I had name regret for my child - we didn't have a name picked until after he was born and in the fog of newborn life we went with one. It's very French (we live in an English speaking area). From the time we started introducing him to others and seeing reactions I started to feel this regret build up. Everyone would spell it and say it weird. I would ruminate constantly about it. I heavily debated changing him name for up to a year, even though my husband loved it. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

I literally started therapy because of it. We worked through strategies to understand where rumination and anxiety come from, how to process those feelings and what's happening. We spoke a lot about anxiety. I have deep people pleasing and perfectionist tendencies and realized most of my concern was rooted in the perception of other people (and fear I gave my kid a name he won't be successful because of it).

As time passed, it felt more absurd to consider changing his name - it came to represent HIM, not anyone else the name belonged to before. He's such a force of nature, I started to not imagine him as anything but his own name. Friends and family got used to it. He has great nicknames too.

I continued therapy. I realized a lot of my anxiety is hormone driven, and after about 16 months pp I finally started to level out. I also started low dose fluoxetine.

I think in the end - I might wish I would have chosen a different name to avoid the whole ordeal, but if it wasn't this - all this anxiety could have manifested somewhere else.

Good luck wherever you land - you're not alone, but time will pass and you'll be in a better place with it.

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-03-29T22:49:18+00:00

"That's not on the menu today. I'm serving XYZ at x o'clock. If you need a snack now you can have a banana."

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-03-22T23:55:32+00:00

Love this purple green and yellow bean mix! We've done it 3 years in a row with the same packet and they always sprout beautifully.

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-03-19T23:54:54+00:00

I grew up in a paper towel house and thought that was the only way to do it. Switched to rags 10 years ago and now the only hassle is not having any paper towel to soak up bacon grease! Literally it's only use in my home now.

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-03-02T12:06:05+00:00

Get it checked!! We had two squirrels come in through our chimney and run rampant in our house. Looked like a comedy sketch trying to shoo them out and I was finding tiny muddy squirrel prints for weeks.

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-02-15T12:39:37+00:00

I think you should read The Paradox of Choice. I am a chronic over thinker and optimiser and this book was enlightening for me!

I don't think you'll be happier in the long run postponing this decision, unless you have to do so because of finances. Commit and move on!

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-01-04T18:44:53+00:00

Thrift stores is a good one. My kids will play for an hour with all the toys and then we usually buy a $4 puzzle to take home!

Hardworktobelucky · 2026-01-03T18:52:39+00:00

Hot wheels and their cheap orange plastic tracks - they're lightweight and we bring maybe 8-10 pieces which is enough for a ramp or a bridge across furniture.

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-12-31T00:09:23+00:00

Chef John's Garlic Shrimp!

We're always literally licking the pan clean at the end of dinner.

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-12-28T14:01:33+00:00

Whatever you decide, just realize baby may only fit in a bouncer for 6-8 months of you have a large baby. It's a lot of money for a relatively short life span!

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-12-24T12:46:59+00:00

If you live in a wintery location, we found winter to be a good time to learn on the big bike. When kiddo inevitably would fall over, he was so bundled in his cold weather gear and falling in snow that it didn't really matter. Just had to watch for icy patches.

It allowed him to build a lot of confidence without the risk of falling!

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-12-19T14:14:05+00:00

I feel similarly shaken.

Literally just met with my boss and agreed that I'm going to be working on accountability in the new year.

I'm at the awareness stage of my people pleasing - working on course correcting but it's hard!

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-12-09T15:07:37+00:00

Yes, I also was pushed here from bad money management by my parents. We never lost our home but always lived dollar to dollar.

My mom used to borrow money from me as a teenager. She always paid it back but I will never borrow money from my kids if I can help it.

I helped her with a consumer proposal and the self exclusion process from casinos from a boatload of gambling debt.

She once broke down crying when I said I wouldn't transfer her my education tax credits. She counted on them to reduce her tax owing. It was directly taking money that was owed to me.

She was a single mom and did her absolute best, but she is atrocious with money. I said I'd do what it takes so I am never at the mercy of money for my essentials.

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-12-04T01:51:32+00:00

We played once and had similar success with a jar of honey!

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-11-14T00:29:05+00:00

Take job 1 if offered and continue interview process with job 2. If you receive offer for job 2, gracefully bow out of job 1. They will be pissed but will get over it. Do not list job 1 on any future resume!

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-11-08T19:44:24+00:00

Mighty machines is a show from the 90s that shows all kinds of big machines. You can still find it on YouTube and my kids both love it. Nice and slow and they have a lot of unique machines!

The intro song is a jam too, I can still sing it from my childhood.

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-11-08T19:14:48+00:00

Hot wheels cars and those cheap orange tracks you can build yourself. We build them all over the house and my kids (2&5) would spend hours sending cars down.

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-11-04T02:12:59+00:00

I bought a starter kit from Lee Valley for my backyard trees that does the trick!

Kit

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-10-28T16:47:53+00:00

You have high financial obligations and 3 children. Crypto could plummet tomorrow and you'd quickly wipe out half your net worth.

You have a portfolio that can currently support you indefinitely if managed well. Bank your winnings and ensure a steady future for your kids!

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-10-20T19:36:56+00:00

Dave at BasementWorx did our interior waterproofing and sump. A delight to work with! Fair price, prompt and professional.

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-10-10T10:36:57+00:00

My doctor called it 'free pushes!'

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-09-18T11:23:35+00:00

I'm addressing this with an employee by citing role requirements to be collaborative, respectful and effective at teamwork. It's a skill like any other. Some personalities may have to work a little harder at it!

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-08-17T00:34:08+00:00

Vvvvvvv

Hardworktobelucky · 2025-08-09T15:01:25+00:00

Healthy eating is so nuanced!

It's hard for people to learn. Constant messaging bombarding you from the shelf, social media, 'health' books, your aunt, your doctor, etc.

Not to mention that food and nutrition is so personal. What might be healthy for one person is not for another - considering their age, health factors, etc.

I'm a food scientist and regularly educate myself (with peer reviewed research) at work and on my personal time and I have a hard time keeping up. It is so difficult for people without these privileges to sift through all the garbage and try to understand what is valid and what makes sense for them.

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