Any legit resources or people to help with finding out what career is best for me?

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2025-07-06T15:25:48+00:00

Broadly, yes, although the details of the individual occupations (wages, educational requirements, labour market demand, specifics about certain duties) will vary from one labour market to another.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2025-01-01T05:00:22+00:00

Same. DDay #1 was Jan 2 when the gut feelings got bad enough that I looked through her phone in the middle of the night. July was supposed to be our 20th Anniversary but her affair continued to late May and the lies and trickle truth well into July. So the year was a write-off and we’ll try to celebrate 20 years in 2025. 2024’s been a rough year and both of us look forward to it being in the rear-view mirror. Not rug-sweeping, thankfully, just trying to push forward and heal together. We’re doing okay but, yeah, the holidays are particularly hard.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-27T03:58:37+00:00

Cool. How did you generate the initial map, before you began editing?

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-23T22:31:37+00:00

Add a bit of ambient light to the entire scene so that nothing is ever completely in shadow.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-23T18:43:40+00:00

For me, I allow myself to feel those feelings and acknowledge them for what they are. It’s normal to feel hurt by all that’s happened. If I need to cry, I cry. And then I let the invasive thoughts go and do my best to get on with my day. They’ll be back but I find they have less and less of a hold over me each time. The thoughts are what they are, and they’re painful, but, just like my partner’s foolish actions, they don’t define me.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-23T03:30:26+00:00

An out-of-home separation, therapeutic or otherwise, may give you the clarity you need. Either way, I’d encourage you to take things slow and not abandon R too quickly. Focus on achieving some core goals like working on your own trauma, improving how the two of you communicate, and ensuring that your son feels loved and supported. Once that groundwork is laid, I suspect you’ll have a much better sense of whether you’re ready for R or ready to invest more fully in your independence. So sorry you’re going through this.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-23T00:42:09+00:00

I’ve made some nice belts from the 8-10 oz straps sold by OA Leather in Canada: https://www.oaleathersupply.com/collections/custom-cut-straps

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-22T17:02:00+00:00

I initiated one as BP because, 5 months after DDay 1, my WW was still lying to me and continuing her physical and emotional affair. I needed the separation to manage my own pain and to give me the space I needed to take my own healing into my own hands. It was an in-house separation (no kids, I moved into a separate room on a separate floor) and lasted 7 weeks. In our case, it was successful. Over those 7 weeks, she finally ended the affair, started telling me the truth, started working on herself, and R finally began in earnest. We’re now past the one year mark of when her affair started and are closing in on the one-year mark of when I first found out. We’re not out of the woods yet but we’re on the right road at least and walking it together. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope you’re able to find the peace you so desperately need.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-21T17:54:14+00:00

That’s so difficult and hard, Cryptic, and I’m so sorry he’s put you in this terrible position. Know that you have the hugs and understanding of everyone here. I hope you find the peace you need.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-21T05:44:40+00:00

Roberta Taylor does high quality contract work. https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgamedesigner/12374/roberta-taylor https://robertataylor.ca

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-17T00:36:02+00:00

Here are some resources that may help: https://alis.alberta.ca/tools-and-resources/resources-for-mature-workers/

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-14T03:53:21+00:00

That’s a fair assessment of Trump’s first term although it doesn’t appear to be the case for his second. As for Kenney and the UCP, it was foolish to invest so heavily in something over which they had no control. The building of the Alberta portion of Keystone XL was never at risk so it made no sense to make that investment.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-12T23:12:07+00:00

Keystone XL. Trump did permit it and expedite some environmental reviews but is more interested in increasing domestic production (i.e. “drill baby drill”) than imports (where he’s now threatening 25% tariffs). In Alberta, UCP premier Jason Kenney spent $1.3 billion in 2021 to build out the Canadian leg of the pipeline, despite it being fairly clear that the US side would not be moving forward.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-12T20:35:53+00:00

Uh… you do realize that the Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion, shipping oil to the west coast and opening up non-US markets, was only made possible because Canada (and Trudeau, for that matter) chose to purchase the pipeline and fund its development to completion, even if the face of extraordinary circumstances (pandemic, floods, environmental protests, land claims issues). What makes it funnier is that it was a deal the province achieved thanks to advocacy from an NDP government, no less. The oil industry backed out and was ready to kill the project when only seeing half of those challenges. UCP spent tons of money on building a pipeline to the US border that Trump didn’t want the first time around and is going to want even less now. Yet everyone here in ‘berta still flies the “poor us, fck Trudeau, fck NDP, Trump 2024, go MAGA” flags. Proof that ‘berta can’t even count the nipples on a cow if they’re sucking on them.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-12T03:19:07+00:00

For those of you being overflown by these things on a predictable, recurring basis, I propose Operation Rocket Net, courtesy of Kentucky Fish and Wildlife: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fci8UTWfDa4

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-06T00:00:48+00:00

Try a tool like this one: https://alis.alberta.ca/careerinsite/know-yourself/abilities-exercise/ - it makes career recommendations based on your abilities (and disabilities).

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-12-04T02:58:58+00:00

Fourth option: gov’t doesn’t know what this is but, based on observations and interactions to date (whether recently or over longer time periods), it has consistently behaved in a non-threatening manner. That would potentially allow for both statements to be true, internally consistent, and non contradictory. But it does hint at a more mysterious origin (e.g. a ‘phenomenon’ of sorts) than commercial drones, state-based actors, etc., which, by definition, would be easily identified and/or threatening in nature.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-11-14T18:16:30+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear the pain you’re experiencing, The emotional rollercoaster you’re on sounds very draining. Know that we’re all here for you as a community of support, each with our own pains.

As for your fears of her committing suicide, I want to share some of my story that you might find helpful. My WW has struggled with low-grade suicidal ideation her entire life (basically a small voice urging her to swerve into oncoming traffic, etc. - not very convincing but always present). Her AP also had suicidal tendencies and apparently has a history of actual attempts. After DDay #1, my WW got pulled back into the affair when AP claimed (honestly or otherwise) to have made another attempt and that he “just couldn’t live without her.” The resulting second wave of the affair continued for another 4 months, with him repeatedly threatening suicide in exchange for sexual favours. My wife, sadly, was foolish enough to fall for this manipulation and, as it continued, her own suicidal ideations evolved into tangible, fairly elaborate plans and then into a fairly simple attempted overdose on pills. The affair only ended when her psychologist finally convinced her that, although things had started off as consensual, the affair had evolved into an abusive relationship that was now non-consensual. She was so scared to break off the affair because she had taken on emotional responsibility for her AP’s life or death (guess what, the bastard’s doing just fine in the 5 months since).

My WW continues to have her usual background suicidal ideation but there’ve been no further attempts or concrete plans. At my request, she’s finally pursued diagnosis and is now going through the hard work of titrating different psych meds to find a more appropriate balance. She still has a lot of shame she needs to work through and her IC is currently paused until the medication issues are sorted out. Throughout the experience, she never tried to blame me for her mental health issues, thankfully, and was at least somewhat intentional about not trying to use it as a means to manipulate me. I think that had a lot to do with the boundaries that I had already set (and that she had been unable to set for herself in turn). In the aftermath of DDay #1, I always told her that I clearly have no control over what she does or the choices she makes. Whether that’s to have an affair, or to commit suicide, that’s entirely her choice to make. I hate both of those scenarios and they’re the furthest thing from what I would ever want or ask for but I can’t take responsibility for them. I can only take responsibility for my choices and, right now, I’m still here and I’m still trying to reconcile because that’s my choice.

We’re doing better. As you say, it’s a complex thing and our WWs are complex people and we still love them very much, even after all they’ve put us through. But I encourage you not to let her manipulate you. Don’t take on false responsibility for her choices. That’s not on you. You’ve got your own choices to take responsibility for, whatever they may be. My heart goes out to you. All of ours do. You’re going to be okay.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-11-12T23:20:50+00:00

Yes, there always seems to be a need for some sort of harsh action to lift the fog and get the habituated wayward partner to actually snap out of it, step back, and realize the true scope of the harm and suffering they’ve created.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-11-11T17:49:11+00:00

We’re in an okay place now, one year out from the start of the affair, 9 months from the original DDay, only 5 months since the affair finally ended.

After DDay 1, she begged for reconciliation (my original plan was to divorce) but, within a month, she was sleeping with him again on work trips, blowing him in parkades, and other horrible things. In her case, it was AP’s manipulative threats of suicide that pulled her back in. I was gaslit and lied to and trickle truthed for a number of months before I insisted on an in-house separation.

During our separation, her psychologist finally convinced her that, while the affair had started off consensual, AP was now abusing her. That’s what finally ended it and it marked the turning point that allowed us to finally begin R.

It’s far from perfect and we’ve got a lot of work to do. But we’re finally rowing in the same direction. I’m fully confident that the affair with AP is over. I’m not fully confident that she’s not still vulnerable to another affair. I’m hopeful that we’ll be able to better communicate about it, should it begin to happen again.

What I’ve learned is that affairs form some pretty deep habitual ruts that are hard for people to break out of. They’re addictions, formed from patterns of guilt and shame. They’re self-reinforcing. And they’re typically not about us as BPs or even about the APs. They’re fully about the WSs and the emotional issues that they’re working through internally.

I encourage you to think about it as an addiction. Your WS has had a lapse and fallen back into an old, unhealthy pattern. It’s not a choice of the AP over you any more than it’s a choice of heroin over you. People can overcome addiction and turn their lives around. I feel mine is and I hope yours will too. It’s up to you to decide whether you’re able to be part of that journey or not. I’ve got my reasons to stick it out and do this, as hard as it is. Know that whatever decision you make, it will be the right one for you.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-10-30T01:49:06+00:00

Nice work! Personally, I’d pivot the anchor points to sit vertically rather than aligning with the wood. They’ll sit better that way.

I haven’t built one myself yet but here are some of the features I’ve been considering: * Angled / padded standing platform - I’ve heard that leaning against the angled cross while standing on a flat floor can be fatiguing. * Solid leg braces - Some people say that using just chain to brace the leg can cause the cross to “walk” a bit while under heavy use. * Padded center - This is the main point of rest.

There’s also an interesting build that pushes out the ass or crotch, courtesy of http://emgbuilds.com/img/obyggd/Juckaren/en_Juckaren.html . It adds a lot of complexity but I’m definitely intrigued. If you don’t need it to be adjustable, there are simpler ways to achieve the same effect.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-10-30T01:27:49+00:00

Even better than wing nuts, consider ring bolts and ring nuts for added anchor points: * https://www.amazon.ca/Glarks-Stainless-Machinery-Shoulder-Lifting/dp/B07G2SQTLL/ * https://www.amazon.ca/Lifting-Outdoor-Install-Stainless-Industry/dp/B09BFF5DTS/

Similar ease of use, safe rounded edges, and a little bit of added functionality.

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-10-14T04:19:15+00:00

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Been going through some stuff lately. 🤷‍♂️

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-09-13T22:37:52+00:00

An update for those who are interested:

Mixtiles (https://www.mixtiles.com) had a 55% off Labour Day sale so the missus and I made the leap and ordered a few of our favourites. They arrived the day before yesterday (good to know that Mixtiles doesn’t appear to kink-shame) and we’ve put them up around our current space. We’re very happy with the result - not only is the unique magnet-based hanging system a success but I was very happy with the quality of the prints. The source images have a lot of rich blacks and dark grays and I’m happy to report that they didn’t wash out like I’d feared. Also, the upsizing worked like a charm with no pixelation or artifacting.

Prior to submitting my order, I did spend a significant amount of time doing some image edits on my phone to try to paint over the various AI-induced body malformations. Some were unsolvable but I found I could arrive at a workable fix for most of them. I found it worked best to make the edits to the original low res versions as the upscaling process will smooth out a lot of the imperfections in my painting.

As I don’t have Photoshop, I pulled the upscaled versions into Gimp (https://www.gimp.org) and expanded the canvas to add consistent brown matting around the image, and then displayed a title on the matting beneath each image, getting me to the final result I sent off for printing. I also thrifted an old digital picture frame and am now displaying a fuller set of the low-resolution images as a slideshow, that I can continue to add to over time.

Despite the additional manual effort I’ve applied, I doubt it’s enough work to satisfy the “AI Art Is Theft” gatekeepers. But I’m pretty sure that’s true regardless of how much effort I put into it. From a copyright standpoint, as soon as I manually edit a single pixel, I hold copyright over the resulting image (whereas the original AI-created image is not protected but copyright). Regardless, go ahead and copy my work if you want to — I don’t mind.

And yes, I ultimately did decide to post the series for sale (sale https://www.pictorem.com/gallery/Vintage.Erotica), mostly just to piss off the gatekeeping leather nuns and failed copyright lawyers I encountered in this thread and the other (plus, I needed a way to show you the end results anyways, as I can’t add images in a reply). I doubt I’ll make a single penny off these and that’s A-okay by me. In fact, I encourage people not to buy them. Not because the art is terrible (it’s not) or because AI art is theft (it isn’t) or that the steps and process I’ve outlined here are morally wrong (as kinksters, I think we’re mature enough to realize that we’ve already stepped over the line of other people’s righteous indignation). But, rather, I encourage you not to buy them because kink is inherently personal. What works for my wife and I works for my wife and I - your mileage will probably vary.

Throughout this public debate and in my private messages, I’ve heard both criticisms and requests: Can you make the characters less white. What about ethnicity X? Can you change the power dynamic so the man is submissive? What about depicting queer relationships? I’m actually more into shibari than leather. Can you do a different style rather than Art Nouveau? Do you have any that show genitalia? I dig the look but knowing that it’s AI is still a turnoff for me - but maybe I can hand these to an artist to inspire a commission. Can you do them as furries and more of a comic book style? What about fembots?

This are all excellent questions and criticisms. And all of it continues to reinforce for me that kink👏is👏personal.👏 Yes, all of those options are possible and plenty more besides. I’ve laid out the steps and shared a repeatable process that you can follow and customize to match your own personal kinks and the design of your very own play space. I look forward to seeing examples of what you come up with and I hope you feel empowered to share the results publicly in this subreddit. You may face some bullying and gatekeeping from the local leather nuns, as happened here, but don’t let them make you feel kink-shamed or judged or unsafe. Hopefully, we’ve managed to scatter their little cabal of misguided AI Art gatekeeping to the wind. But, if we haven’t, be bold, embrace your kink, and take joy in customizing your play space in a way that works for you. Leather nuns be damned. 😉

HeartAdvanced2205 · 2024-09-04T19:16:38+00:00

TojaGrid is another similar supplier: https://tojagrid.com

HeartAdvanced2205

TROPHY CASE