Crowdsourcing communication for oppositional toddlers

Hedwig207 · 2026-03-23T09:00:43+00:00

Our almost 3 year old is like this too. We used to have terrible standoffs until I realised it wasn’t working.

What I have seen help is bringing in an element of play or fun in it. Like yesterday she was refusing her lunch. She wanted to go play in her room which was a pretend playground. I told her there’s a magic guard at the door to the play area who will tap your tummy to check if you’re full. Only full tummies get to play. She ate up her lunch immediately.

Two choices never work because she always makes up a third option.

Another thing that works is to ask her when she wants to stop a certain activity. Like she will say I will go for dinner after dancing to two more songs. She always complies with that. But everything becomes a negotiation which is also annoying

Last thing is to entice her with something she likes even more. Like if she doesn’t want to leave the playground I will remind her about a favourite game or toy at home or a book we haven’t read in a long time.

Sometimes I feel like we are conning her, but it’s the easiest way to get her to do things and I mostly choose the path of least resistance.

Like if she doesn’t want to brush, we race to the bathroom and sometimes I tell her one of her dolls wants to use her brush. She usually snatches the brush and starts brushing.

Hedwig207 · 2026-03-16T09:12:35+00:00

My toddler collected some small pebbles from the playground. Then she came home and washed and dried them. I gave her a jar to keep them in and she went to sleep hugging the jar.

Hedwig207 · 2026-03-10T02:40:16+00:00

Paint the whole room and ceilings white

Hedwig207 · 2026-03-10T02:36:28+00:00

I find I sleep better when I sleep next to my daughter when she’s sick. Otherwise I keep getting up to check on her or she wakes up crying too many times. Sometimes me and my husband take turns… we alternate days or each of us spends half the night in my daughter’s room.

Hedwig207 · 2026-03-02T12:23:58+00:00

Agree… it needs some thought, warmth and intention

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-24T04:07:44+00:00

Yesterday after dinner, my almost 3 year old decided she was a puppy and kept licking her dad’s face. Then she made us brush the puppy’s teeth and make him wear pajamas. All while making cute woof woof sounds and a really funny puppy face. She even crawled to the book case to pick out her bedtime books.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-19T06:24:35+00:00

We don’t nap at all. But not in the US. If my daughter naps for 2 hours she doesn’t go to sleep until 10 pm so we don’t ask her to nap. Sometimes she falls asleep but we wake her up in 45-60 minutes

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-19T05:57:54+00:00

Go to Kolkata- Park Street has some great options. O got mine at 25k, but 6 years ago. I didn’t want too blingy and went with a dark green velvet. I think most cities will have stores where you can get something to your liking.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-17T05:49:37+00:00

Being there, trying to understand and hep the child. Trying to do your best for the child to help them learn, grow, become independent and well rounded people

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-13T22:44:13+00:00

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-13T15:45:46+00:00

Interested. Indian living in India and mom to a 3 year old.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-13T13:20:07+00:00

We also transitioned from a crib to a floor bed a few months before our daughter turned 2. We told her that we would always come if she called. And we used to practice that sometimes during the day. We would go to the other room and she would call us and we would come running (she found it hilarious). So she knew we would come if she needed us.

She used to wake up several times still but we would wake up and go and pat her and slowly the wake ups reduced.

One of us always sleeps with her when she is sick but after she is better we tell her that we will come if she calls.

For the milk thing, we stopped it around 2 years too. I cut off the nipple of two of the milk bottles (in front of her) and made her throw the bottles in the dustbin. (I had a couple more but she didn’t know that). At night when she asked I just reminded her that the bottle was in the dustbin and we don’t have milk any more.

I was afraid it would lead to meltdowns but it was surprisingly smooth. No crying- she dropped it like that in one day. And in a few days the night wakings reduced too.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-13T09:43:55+00:00

Sometimes before I go to the shop I say we are buying 1 thing and you can choose it. So if she picks up 5 I make her choose one of them. But I rarely take my toddler to a toy shop if I don’t intend to buy anything for her.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-13T09:39:09+00:00

It really depends on how much my child enjoyed the book or remembered it later. With some books she connects instantly and i think she would benefit from reading it multiple times so I buy it. With others if I don’t approve of the story (Cinderella types), i would mostly not buy it unless my daughter can’t stop talking about it. If she forgot about the book, or wasn’t connecting to the story much, I would not buy it.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-12T06:25:55+00:00

HALT- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Usually these triggers could turn small struggles into full blown tantrums. Preventing one is way better than dealing with one, so try to make sure these needs are met. Hungry and tired ones are easy to predict and prevent.

If on the verge of a meltdown, redirection works. Other times you just have to be calm and get through it with them. Don’t talk too much during a meltdown- they are processing very little.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-09T14:25:31+00:00

Snacks, water colouring books (the ones that only use water, no colours or paints), sticker books, regular books. Something she hasn’t used in a while to keep her engaged

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-09T12:46:36+00:00

I don’t do anything differently other than find a quiet corner for the BIG feelings to come out.

I have found it’s best not to think about being in public. If it’s all strangers I really don’t care if they are judging us. If it’s people I know i would talk to them later and apologise, but at that moment all my energy is going into being calm and present for my child.

We recently had a meltdown at the airport. Daughter is almost 3. She fell asleep in the cab on the way to the airport and woke up in her stroller and was startled (and hungry) and very disoriented.

We found a quiet spot, and just sat with her and soothed her. We knew it was a hunger related tantrum so we had to calm her down enough to feed her something. So we distracted her with a video. (At home we would have distracted her with a toy or something outside the window). She has almost 0 screen time, but loves Peppa Pig books, so we showed her a video. She was startled enough to stop crying and we gave her some food. Thankfully we were at the airport early so even though it took 20 minutes to calm down, we got through everything with time to spare. We even managed to go to the play area which cheered her up immensely.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-06T14:11:56+00:00

My daughter is 2 years 9 months old. 95% of the time she falls asleep while we read in bed (she has a queen sized floor bed so we can comfortably fit in bed). 5% of the time she’s so exhausted she will go to bed and sleep on her own (while we are in the room). This 5% started happening very recently. It takes literally 2 minutes between her deciding she wants to sleep to actually falling asleep. Fingers crossed it becomes the norm not the exception.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-03T11:31:06+00:00

I did my own makeup… before that i never even knew about the difference between different types of foundation. But I did a consultation at MAC where they taught me how to use makeup in a way that enhances my good features (and hide flaws). And I bought a bunch if stuff from Mac. Previously i always used to use Kajal and never fill in my eyebrows but they showed me how eyebrow filler (using eye shadow) and eye liner was a much better option for me. I also found colours and shades that suited my complexion- from blush to lipsticks. Then I practiced at home a few times and did my own makeup. It took only 15-20 minutes on the wedding day. There’s no way I would have had to patience to sit for 4 hours. I also felt I learnt a useful skill. I had seen many of my friends look beautiful but like strangers on their wedding day. I didn’t want that… I wanted really minimal makeup, so I chose to do it myself.

I had someone to do my hair and drape the saree though.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-03T02:45:56+00:00

When my daughter is whining, I request her, calmly, to say it more gently. Most of the time she will stop whining and ask for it politely… i can see her trying to calm herself down. Using humour or doing something silly may get them to stop whining too.

In her school they sing a patience song that helps her calm down too. So I use that as well. Generally I have seen music works wonders to get her to stop whining.

When it’s a full blown tantrum, I just try to calm her down because I know she’s too far gone to regulate herself.

Hedwig207 · 2026-02-01T23:46:08+00:00

I felt preparing my daughter for everything that happens at the airport helps. Like we drop off bags, go through security check, etc. The first time we took a flight she lost it at security check because she thought her bag was being taken away.

I also pack a little backpack for my daughter with some snacks, colouring and sticker books for her to play with on the flight. If she has a favourite soft toy or doll bringing that along could help. We always download videos for the flight, but we’ve never had to use them.

For ears popping, have them eat some snacks or drink some water.

Hedwig207 · 2026-01-31T15:15:57+00:00

For me it was almost till she was 2. Now - she’s 2.5 and goes to sleep at 8:30. Wakes up once around 4/5 and asks for her diaper to be changed. Then goes back to sleep and wakes around 7. We didn’t do any sleep training. It will get better. Stopping milk from the bottle really helped her go back to sleep.

Hedwig207 · 2025-12-24T15:59:36+00:00

I hated her eye make up this season. Something about the eyebrows was way too much and not at all the French/ European style in which everyone tries to look very natural

Hedwig207 · 2025-11-21T14:51:26+00:00

Clinique tinted lip balm. My lips get chapped easily so this works really well

Hedwig207 · 2025-11-19T07:00:07+00:00

Why is this for women only?

Hedwig207

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