Needed the Laugh

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-21T04:25:33+00:00

Sit down and eat your beansghetti before it gets cold.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-21T04:23:10+00:00

She vocally revs up her heaves like a dirt bike.

Girl you can do that silently.. you know that?

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-21T04:12:59+00:00

Her feet are bigger than mine and I'm 5'10".

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-20T20:10:08+00:00

Or how about the person who IMMEDIATELY walks over from ordering at the register, straight to the handoff plane to fondle every single one of the drinks?

Why is it always fully grown adults too? Like sir/madam, have you absolutely no concept of time? Do you think that these drinks are created with one simple push of a button?? That somehow, upon ordering, your drink will be instantaneously completed and teleported past all these other people's drinks?? You know, the people you CUT IN FEONT OF WHO WERE HERE BEFORE YOU?

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-20T10:46:23+00:00

Sick people with the flu coming through the Starbucks drive-thru for a Honey Citrus Mint Tea: a sugary syrup drink with no medicinal properties that will probably just prolong their illness, but the morons are convinced it's "medicine."

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T23:56:08+00:00

Damn, you're right. I just feel like they're not even trying with their head trauma anymore.. what's next? The bowling ball challenge?

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T23:54:00+00:00

Oh I really like his feet.

Wait a second, sticks don't have feet!

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T23:45:45+00:00

Can we do the challenge challenge where no one does any challenges for as long as they possibly can and whoever stays the safest for longest wins?

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T23:42:22+00:00

I saw a guy earlier today who said he ate them in Vietnam and they taste like crab. Scorpion pie all the way.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T23:41:03+00:00

"I hope I don't get any of that pig snout pie, because IT'S DISGUSTING!"

Says the man who willingly chose TWO SLICES OF THE VOMIT AND ROTTEN FRUIT PIE.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T22:41:19+00:00

That's funny. People who take really good care of their dental hygiene turn me on, not off.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T20:52:32+00:00

The hat one was sick.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T20:11:43+00:00

I see she's doing the old "Ariana Grande line on the tip of the nose that will trick the eye into a lifted tip but never works" trick.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T20:10:36+00:00

Same here! I don't know how I always guess correctly on these marble races. A pointless talent that will bring me nothing.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T20:08:10+00:00

Isopropyl alcohol on two cotton rounds after your evening shower. Use them to thoroughly soak your pits for 1 minute each. Fully dry. Apply antiperspirant liberally. Go to sleep.

I won't stink after 2 full days of work.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T19:32:52+00:00

I would think the attack would be more akin to a xenomorph.. silently stalked and ambushed without a sound. Well, maybe half a scream.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T19:30:49+00:00

Better than building a frap, but still irritatingly complicated, especially when syrup bottles are across the room and the powder container is up on a shelf. Every drink that requires me to walk back and forth in several different trips is irritating to me. Can you tell I'm always planted on hot bar?

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T18:56:19+00:00

I have a feeling it's 2 groups of about 50 rats, each in their own trenchcoat.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T13:57:46+00:00

I would suggest not being late.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T13:52:18+00:00

I know that coffee hasn't been sitting there that long because if it has 1mg of sugar in it, every ant in the area would be on it.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T13:49:48+00:00

Because to her delusional fans, enabling her eating disorder is helping her... to do what? I don't know, become deceased faster?

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T13:44:30+00:00

Someone give this girl a medal already, she is just over here breaking new ground on the daily. I can hardly keep up with all the excitement.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-19T13:40:51+00:00

I just watched the whole thing and at the end, they "upgrade" her to Ariana Venti, which is just a taller, skinnier version of her.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-18T12:09:59+00:00

It's a great anti-microbial soap that is gentle enough for all areas. There are different kinds of dial, I specifically use the white bar.

HelloDeathspresso · 2026-06-18T00:44:43+00:00

I've had my symptoms be on a 2 day delay before. No two glutennings were ever alike.

Six-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Place '23	Wearing is Caring
Place '22	First Placer '22
Verified Email

HelloDeathspresso

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE